Monday, February 28, 2005

This snow is starting to piss me off...............

Well, it's not that bad but I am ready for some nice weather. Considering how much we got dumped on last week....it's all good I suppose.

Anybody have a favorite winter tire?

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I run Specialized Armidillo 23mm tires on my Surly-thinking about upgrading to a larger size for a little more butt cushioning. Can't beat them for flat protection though. Got them last year at my LBS and haven't had a flat since.

One of my favorite tricks for getting rid of alot of ads is using a modified "hosts" file. Now, I'm a geek but I'm not 100% comfortable going into the inner workings of my harddrive to do it manually-I use this.

You're gonna have to have a Yahoo e-mail to access the Yahoo "Groups" for an e-mail telling you when there are updates available, but it seems to work really well. I've been using it for over a year with no probs.

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Schwinn just came out with some new chopper bikes.

They look pretty cool but I know how much my stripped out Kona weighs, these things must weigh 7o pounds. I think I like the stripped out look of my bike better though...........

Not sure why someone would use one of these, but it beats walking around talking using one of those mini earsets. At least you know the person is on the phone and just not talking to themselves.

I really like the way this guy delivers pizzas. SFW video on a NSFW website.

That's about it for today.........

Till later.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Dial up is slooooooowwwww............

I spent a couple hours helping my father-in-law hook up his new computer today. Since he doesn't have broadband access, we had to use dial up. Earthlink is probably one of the better choices out there but Lord have Mercy............

.............56k is so s....l....o....w.......

Yeah, I know I'm spoiled with cable internet that is about 9ooo times faster then dial up, but when you start up a new computer for the first time-it takes forever for all the programs that need updates to update. That would include Window's registration, Office updates, anti-virus and firewall updates.

My father-in-law hasn't had a computer hooked up to the internet for several years so it's quite a learning process for him. I sure hope I talked him into a cable modem though.........

My old man had the same learning process last year and even though he is semi-retired (he's 67) I think one of the reasons he still goes to work is to browse the internet in his office. His company pretty much lets him do whatever he wants because I don't think anyone else there quite knows how to do his job.

He runs a tire warehouse that is located in a series of 3 ancient brick buildings with 10 or 11 floors of tires that get delivered in a dozen semis every day to all over the East coast. The actual "job" part of his job is pretty much over by 10 AM, then I think he screws off.

I had fun at work last night making up amounts of snow when customers asked me what I heard on the weather. I think I told one lady that I heard it was gonna snow 16 inches. She probably bought a couple more rolls of toilet paper because of me. Whatever it takes for me to enjoy my job, I'm gonna do it- nothing's to good for our customers.

I think I fell off the "I'm gonna lose some weight" wagon the past couple weeks. No, make that..... "I did a swan dive off the wagon" into a pool of chocolate sauce. I really gotta get out and start riding as soon as the roads clear. I haven't gained any weight, but I damn sure haven't lost any either.............

Who the hell keeps a pet skunk? They wouldn't have had to worry about killing it to test for rabies if it bit my johnson-I'd have taken care of that minor detail by then.

Stomp a mud-hole in your ass? Hmmm, only in Texas.

Each to their own, but I think this is kinda stupid. The guy with the $100,000 truck is even "stupider"

Everybody feels differently on the issue of abortion. This guy can't possibly be this stupid.

I had a "88 Ford Tempo that was much the same as this car. Calling it a piece of crap would have been generous.

Here's a good site if you're in a hurry to be smart.

Calvin and Hobbes 24/7

THIS sounds like a fun bicycling vacation. Uphill bad, downhill good. ................

My friend Ed is gonna like this one........... A $5000 camera. Whoa.

It's Monday morning as I finish up this entry- snow is just starting to fall. Yuck.............

Till later...........

Oh so close...........

Man, is winter EVER gonna be over with? Just when I think we are out of the woods, another storm is on the way. I love it when the weather forecaster doesn't really know what's going on...........

First they say that we could get significant snow or perhaps we could get all rain or possibly some sleet and freezing rain. I'd like it if they could just be stand up guys and say "Folks we have no freaking idea what the hell is going on. It could snow, sleet, rain or have freezing rain or it just might be sunny-our guess is as good as yours" ...........Now that would be telling the truth.

Our main channel around here does a fairly good job most of the time, I always get a kick out of them when they send their reporters to grocery stores the day before a blizzard- 5 bazillion people are shopping and they usually interview a stressed out manager and some pissed off customers.

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Then they cut to all their on-site reporters who are standing next the the highway somewhere with traffic zipping by them inches away at 85 mph so they can report that everything is normal so far.

...............................I'm ready for a little warm weather.

On the other things....................

There no reason why I like this picture except the woman in it seems to be VERY happy.

Tomorrow, everytime I say something, I am going to start my sentences with.................. "According to Nostadamus"

I like cats, but this is just flat out nasty.

Think the cat video in the above link was nasty? This is nastier.

Hell yeah. Why not?

This guys are total idiots. I admire their bike handling skills, but geez, find an empty parking lot.

I love practical jokes...................

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That really sucks.........

This looks like it would be a lot of fun.

That's about it for today............ Maybe if it snows, I'll do a pic of my Kona BikeHotrod stuffed into snowbank and post it. Can't ride it in the snow, so I may as well do something with it.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

New Blog............

Stopped by Ed Hidden's blog and saw that he found a fellow brother that lives in the area that also blogs.

Damn good stuff-check it out. I also have a link to Bone's site on my "Links of Interest" section.

By the way..........good job on quitting smoking Bone- It's a real bee-otch but the pay off is worth it.

I've been smoke-free for a few years now and I'd rather eat a turd then ever smoke another cigarette. You are either a hard,hard man or very crazy for riding in this weather-hat's off to ya:-)

That's all for now-gotta head off for work and make a few thousand donuts.

Interesting catalog..............

Got a catalog in the mail yesterday.............................

It seems to be a catalog marketed to mostly "senior citizen" type of people as most of the items are incontinence pads , toilet bowl extenders etc.... At the very end of the catalog are little ads for this kinda stuff.

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Do ya really think her neck is sore?
A 12 inch neck massager? Riiiight.

This is my favorite item, ain't no way in hell I'm sticking Big Jim in this thing and seeing what pops up. Yikes.

How'd ya like to date someone that wears one of these and find out later what she actually looks like. It's kind of like a sausage casing for a human. The fact that they sell it in a XXL size is very scary.

If your grandpop has a sudden interest in yoga, I bet he bought this tape.

Maybe it's just me, but all I see are a bunch of old fat guys with white beards.

Somebody needs some Paxil.

I wonder if this stuff would work on my forehead.

What a nasty way to die. Darwin's Theory of Evolution wins again. The guy shoulda known better.

Senior citizens already suck at driving, this is gonna make it worse.

This is very cool.

Sorry, no cycling related stuff today, It's 8 fa-reakin degrees outside-the last thing I'm thinkin' about is riding my bike.

Till later...........

Friday, February 25, 2005

Thanks.........

Hey all, thanks for the comments. I have some newer readers so maybe I'll back up a little and give ya'll some background..........

I'm a happily married 45 year old with an extremely understanding wife and two very awesome kids(a son age 11 and a daughter age 17) and I've been a baker/pastry chef since I've been 16. I also have an addiction..................

Bikes.

I own a Redline Monocog with disc brakes, a Schwinn Moab disc hardtail, a Cannondale R500 road bike, a Kona BikeHotrod, a 1977 Raleigh road bike set up as a liquor store bike and the bike I'll be buried with.........a Surly Crosscheck set up as a touring bike.

Been riding since I was four years old,did the usual stuff when I turned 16.......girls, cars, trouble making etc. Got the passion back for riding about 8 years ago when I was about 40 pounds overweight, smoked and was generally a pig. Lost some weight, stopped smoking, I am also a founder of the local trails advocacy group and help out whenever I can.

I decided to start a blog and put up some fun links and hone my writing skills. Haven't been writing much about bikes lately since I live in central PA. and I am not extremely fond of riding in cold weather, slush and snow.

Hopefully, that'll change soon and I'll start posting some ride stories and post up some pics of my rides as well. This site averages anywhere from 30 to 50 visitors a day, I find that kinda hard to believe as I'm just some average shmoe out there in suburbia land writing about his fairly average life.

Most of the stuff I post is tame, I try to warn ya'll if something isn't safe for work or comes from a "Not safe for work" website. My purpose isn't to offend anybody, just like to poke a little fun at stuff that I think needs a little poke. Hell, maybe I can end up like this guy..................

Anybody ever been on a cruise? My parents and in laws have taken them and they loved the experience. My recent bout with food poisioning and all the stories I've read about folks getting sick on cruises kinda helps me make up my mind to stay away from them.

I don't think the freshness of the food on ships is the problem, I feel it is more of a temperature control issue and sanitation practices. Hot stuff has to stay hot and cold stuff has to stay cold. And not to be graphic, but the chefs have to wash their hands after they take a shit.

Spyware, malware, spoogeware or whatever you wanna call it sucks. These guys have a very well done newsletter that ya'll might find interesting. I have a fairly "clean" computer and it's going to stay that way.

We had about 6 inches of snow last night, I'm just sitting here at 4 AM waiting to see if I will have to stay up 2 extra hours before I go to sleep due to school delays. My wife works 1rst shift and I work 3rd shift and run our kids to the bus stop and school in the morning. Woot.

RFID? WTF? Educate yourself because it's coming whether you like it or not.

Anybody that knows me, knows that I have a somewhat off-beat sense of humor. This link is fairly harmless................send the naked lady down a steep hill.

Oh man, this site is sah-weeeet.........On line TV channels from all over the world. Hope you're packin' a broadband connection-you are gonna need it. I found a W.R.C. channel-I'm digging this site.

This site is a scream. If you aren't at least 25 years old, some of it won't make any sense.

This is something I would do for money. SFW video clip on a NSFW website.

This is classic. Can you beat Johnny and Jack Webb? Nope, I don't think so.

Till later...........................

Thursday, February 24, 2005

The next "Big Thing"...............

Low carb, low sugar, yadda,yadda........ The next "Big Thing" is gonna be Flaxseed Oil. You read it here first.

I read a lot of "trade magazines" and they are all putting flaxseed oil out there as the next "heart healthy" marketing binge. Of course Americans are fatter then ever and as I'm writing this...............I'm eating chocolate chip cookies, so what the hell do I know..........

I do know that I really, really wanna get back out there and start putting some miles in. Road, rail trail, or off-road, I really don't give a shit-I haven't spent much time riding this winter and I have the gut to show for it. I have absolutely no desire to cut back on what I eat, so it looks like I better start ramping up the physical
activity before I look like
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...........Jabba the Hut

I buy most of my bike stuff from my LBS but once and awhile some of the mail order houses have some screaming deals. I saw this jacket for 17 bucks and these tires are a damn good deal. I ran these tires a couple of years ago and really liked them.

The weather forecast for central Pa. is for 4 to 6 inches of snow today.
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This winter stuff is getting old in a hurry.

Me go to "questionable" websites? Nah. Whatever, just don't be a dumbass and open any attachments.

I need to slap one of these on my minivan. Flames and a set of these.......oh yeah, baby.

I like this knife holder.

This dude watched too many car commercials. He makes lots of expensive crunching noises.

I think I have posted this before. It's still damn freaky.

Tennis anybody? Screw that, I'm afraid of heights.

I'm not allowed to get one of these. Geez, I only have 5 bikes.......what's one more?

Here's a damn good website explaining why it's smart to buy your bike from a bike shop and NOT a department store. Read up if you are new to cycling.

If you're a motorhead like me, you will totally dig this clip. Hans Stuck driving one lap of the 'Ring. I turned up the sub woofer on this one and watched it. Twice. The site hosting the clip might not be safe for work though.........

Till later.............

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

One of my favorite customers stopped in last night.

One of my favorite customers stopped in last night to order something. This woman has 6 or 7 kids, is maybe 5 ft tall and might weigh 90 lbs. Not sure on the kid count because they don't stop moving and it's hard to keep track of all of 'em.

The reason I like her so much is that while her kids are fairly active- they listen to her. I honestly think she has eyes in the back of her head-those kids don't get away with shit. I usually go through an entire tub of sample cookies with them because I give them all extra cookies because they have such good manners.

It makes putting up with all the rude people worth it.

We don't have HBO, sometimes I miss it just because of the comedy acts.

One things for sure, this is a boy hamster.

Not sure if this is real or not. If it is real, you could smell exactly the same by having someone drag you through a forest fire behind their pick-up based on what smells are in there.

Anybody work in an office like this? (Mild profanity+1 F bomb)

Cats are okay. We don't have one due to our son's allergies. This particular cat musta gotten a wild hair up it's ass or something. Kinda scary.

This article makes my brain hurt.

This is satire. Too bad it's also true.

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I love the look on the larger dog's face.

Hey, I'm actually qualified for this job. It would be a neat deal for sure.

This is cool in a geeky sorta way.

Till later and mind your manners..........you might get extra cookies.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Take it easy on the rocket fuel...........

Your tax dollars at work. I'm sure glad to know that there is a standard for such a thing.

I know where all our winter weather is..........Southern California.

Tennessee also lead the country in bald faced lairs.

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Poor kid.

Not that I necessarily agree with all these rules. I do agree with a few of them. I'm not sayin' which though.

Short one today..........gots stuff to do.

Geo

Sunday, February 20, 2005

My weekend.

Trailwork at Lake Redman was outstanding. Middle of winter, 25 degrees and nearly 2 dozen riders and equestrians showed up to cut in a new trail extension. I don't think Skip expected to get quite as far as we did but almost the entire replacement trail is roughed in. Dumbass me forgot to bring his camera.

Saw this light on another blog. Nice unit and for less then 200 bucks you can make motorists see spots if you look at them when you're riding.

Hopefully before I die, I'll be able to afford one of these. It's not like they are ultra expensive, but it is hard to justify a 3 or 4 thousand dollar bike when you have 2 kids to send through college.

It usually doesn't pay to be an asshole.

Had a great ride up at Rocky Ridge Sunday morning, I am so far out of shape..... it's almost hilarious. At least I am riding pain free. Now all I have to do is put some miles in. A lot of miles.

Great article in this month's Dirt Rag. I've seen some of those bikes sitting on the racks at Wal-Mart with brakes hitting the tires instead of the rims, forks installed backwards and I'm sure nothing is adjusted correctly. Buy a bike at a bike shop unless you know how to fix all that stuff.

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Jeff Gordon gets the call to win the Daytona 500.
I suppose he's a nice guy but I really wanted Mark Martin to at least win one before he retired. Val, if you're reading this.........ain't no way Pretty Boy is gonna win the championship.

It might hurt the fish, but they sure taste good. Sorry PETA, I'm still eatin'em.

Hey, they made a commercial just for me!

This site will be funny if you are a computer geek.

I think this little kid was smoking something. I love old commercials.

This guy's buddy gets'em both killed. Nah, I know what you're thinking, it's not nearly as bad as you think. It's SFW.

This is sexy.................I'm a geek.

I think these pics are funny as hell. The guy gets what he deserves. The lettering on the boat gets bonus points.

Till later.........

Friday, February 18, 2005

New Links.............

I slapped up some more links to some cycling related blogs, check out the links section on your right. Or not, if that's not your bag. Whatev.

Looking forward to trailwork with the YAMBA crew on Saturday. If ya is bored Saturday and wanna do something useful- Get on down to Lake Redman Saturday. More info on the YAMBA site.

I'm not a real big Oprah fan but last week- she helped sell a whole metric buttload of yellow bracelets. Good stuff.

As least the guy died with a full stomach. Burn in hell, pal.

I work with a guy that has a mild case of this.

Some of the videos on this site are funny, but they sure ain't P.C. The guy in the videos swears alot and drops the F-Bomb about a bazillion times. As if you didn't know, my favorite one is him at the drive thru. The site isn't safe for work, small pets or houseplants.

North Korea has something far worse then nuclear weapons.

This link makes me go..................yuck.

Are your kids hackers.........or just lame?

OMG!!! I think this guy oughta win a medal.

Some of these are corny, some are old and some are pretty darn funny.

Need a job?

Where's the damn ball?

Here's a neat trick. Go to Google Maps and type in "Joke in Washington Dc" Hey, don't blame me, I didn't write the software.

You'll spend some time on this site. This guy never wrote before in his life, I'd say he's doing a damn fine job so far. Start at the beginning of his blog and read forward, it's a good read.

What's up with shampoo? How come there are 1000's of different varieties? Check this one out. There's all kind of shit in there. My hair might be a 1/4 inch long, I hit it with the same bar soap I use on the rest of my body and I'm good to go.

Make a living being a gambler.

Till later .................

Who put the porno on my site?

...................Me evidently.

Buddy of mine pointed out that my Dec 6th entry had a link to some sort of site called "Adult Friend Finder" Most of the links I post are fairly tame but a few originate from some not so "nice" sites. For example, one of my fav sites is drunckcyclist.com. 99% of the written content is just fine but he pays his hosting bills by linking to porno sites. I must have copied and pasted the wrong link somehow.

Whoopsie.

Oh and don't bother looking for the Dec 6th entry, I deleted it from the site until I fix it.

Gotta thank Harley Trash for pointing it out for me-hell, my kids read this-can't be havin'no girlie stuff on here. Todd "Harley Trash" Witte and his partner in crime Brent are two of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. They are both extremely succesful business men, great dads and husbands but get them near motorcycles and all reason goes to hell in a handbasket.

These guys will get on their bikes and ride 1000 miles non-stop and average 8o mph.
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Neither one of them are quite right in the head. Go figure.

My poor boss is getting hammered on by her bosses................You can pretty much write your own ticket with the company I work for but if ya don't hit the numbers .............well, your ticket is gonna have a few layovers.

Oh yeah, like my 11 year old is gonna not play his X-Box for 3 to 4 weeks. Thankfully, ours isn't being recalled.

I think they oughta raise the tax to 10 bucks a pack on the beotches.

Other then the fact the he's a child molester he's a nice guy.......awww, screw it-they should revoke his bail and have him bunk with Bubba. He'd be singing a diffent tune then. In a much higher pitch, I might add.

She looks pretty damn happy for having her arm chewed up and contacting rabies.

I don't care what anybody says, when you walk around talking on a "hands free" cellphone- you look like a goober. These will make it worse.

Imagine the look on this guys face when they showed him the pic. Tool.

What the hell is this? Bring back the "old school" version.

This is way, way cool. I'd like to visit there sometime later in the spring.

Damn. I bet the driver lost bowel control. Check out the video.

I wonder if they have any laying around. Sounds like the perfect gift for people ya don't like.

This is nice. I just can't imagine them getting their freak on. Not a pretty word picture, is it?

This is ridiculous. Somebody needs smacked upside the head and it ain't the 12 year old.

Hydraulic fluid is not a natural flavoring.Yuck.

My question? Where was the naked guy hiding his cell phone?

This dog must be related to the dog I had when I was a kid.

Heh heh. I like this guy.

I'm in group "B" by the way................

................Till later. And stay away from the porno.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

I'm feeling much better..........

I am feeling so much better since my near-death experience with a turkey and cheese omlette this past Monday.
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I hope I never feel that bad ever again.

I picked up someone's shopping list that was laying on the floor at work. Here's the list.........

-Milk
-Coffee
-Condoms
-Spaghetti sauce
-Preparation H
-Steak

............I sure woulda liked to have been the cashier.

Now I know why most of Microsoft's shit don't work right.

Bush and his cronies are all over terrorism.

I'd seriously think about a name change. But that's just me.

There are alot of stupid people out there. 300 bucks for a dumbass pair of sunglasses you eat food with?

If there was any doubt in your mind- PCP is not a recreational drug.

No brain, no pain. What do I care?.......I can't afford'em anyways.

So, what if one of the scientists missplaced a decimal point? All this talk about Social Secuity reform will become irrevalent. 22,000 miles is close.

Armstrong is gonna go for 7 in a row.

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Less then 14 pounds for a road bike? Yeah, I'll take one.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Couple thoughts............

Couple thoughts about this link.......... I'm sitting here reading it eating chocolate covered raisins and the guy described in the article is probably gonna get hit by a bus someday.

Some folks like Star Wars and some folks take it way too seriously.

This was a popular show, I never saw an episode. Not a real big Seinfeld fan.

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George cuts the cheese. He also has his head up his ass........
It isn't the first time.

Funny. But not that funny.

Wal-Mart has an unprofitable store? Nah, don't believe it for a minute.

I can hardly wait to have all the meat ripped from my bones.

Lots of things piss me off about the current administration, the fact the Hubble is gonna die and not be replaced is a crime.

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You gotta be kiddin' me.
I hope Lisa said "Get a life, dweeb"

This rider is (IMHO) just plain weird.

Just don't hit anything head on.

Ever hear of "overclocking" ? Here's an extreme example.

I don't think I'll want to blow my nose with this stuff.

I'm all for "One less car" but this is way, WAY to much information. I do lots of crazy stuff, but one thing I'll never do is get naked, paint up my fat ass and go ride my bike. Count on that.

Brave kid. I like the part about the stone.

You know what would be a cool joke to play on these pranksters? Bulldoze their house before they get back from vacation and sod over the spot where the house used to be. Yeah, that'll teach'em.

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Funny picture about a serious matter.

This video will shock you.

Biking videos. Not the usual stuff.

I need to get a set of these for my chopper. On second thought, maybe not.

Till later..........................

St Valentines Day Vomitron..........

Valentines day started out just fine. My wife and I were both off yesterday so after we dropped our son off at school, we went out for breakfast. I had a turkey and cheese omlette.

Big mistake.

About 3 hours later I was doubled over wondering whether to throw up or experience the pleasures of explosive diarrhea. Not to worry, I had the pleasure of both, thankfully not at the same time but it was close a couple times.

As I was curled up in a ball on the floor-the power went off. Spiffy, now I was gonna be cold and sick. Thankfully I felt better after 3 or 4 hours, now all I have to do is go back to the resturant and bitch slap the owner for making me miss work.

It never ceases to amaze me as to what people willingly eat. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside knowing I fry up over a half million calories of donuts every night.
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I don't know what's scarier....... The fact that the screener missed the knife or the fact that women carry butcher knifes on blind dates.

I woulda shit my pants if this came out of my ketchup bottle. Done with the brand? Hell, I would never use ketchup again.

What are the scientists over in India smoking?

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Oxymoron? Why yes, I think I'll have one. (NSFW)

In case anybody missed it, the Sox won the World Series.

If I had a half-million dollar Ferrari, I'd learn how to drive it properly.

Some folks do some very unusual things with their body cavities. Don't ask me how I found that link.

Burn in Hell............... Burn in Hell Pt 2. You guys deserve it.

Ask the "Fruitcake Lady" She tells it like it is..............

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This is one fight I'd pay to see. SpongeBob rules.

Till later.................

Sunday, February 13, 2005

I love York...........

This past week a black minister was pulled over in a case of mistaken idenity. Here is a recap of the story. Now, I'm just some middle class white guy tryin to make a living- if a white guy was pulled over and was treated the same way............the story would be over by now.

Face it, the police made a mistake and they apoligized-get over it already. I just love the quote in the story "The church community is in an uproar. We remain Christians, but right now we're in an uproar," ..........Please, give it a rest.

If the same thing happened to me? Sure, I'd be pissed off just like the good minister was and I'd probably pursue legal action but you wouldn't be reading about it in the papers. Have some class folks.

This will make you take your gay friends more seriously.

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That's it, you're flagged.

When Hell freezes over, I'll own a motorcycle. Until then-I just read about them. I know by buddy Todd will be digging this one.

The Pope beats the odds. Damn. ................Just kidding of course.

"This goes way beyond bringing kids here to get drunk and puke into the pool" ............A marketing genius if I ever saw one.

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This had to suck.

A joke.........just a tiny bit off-color....................

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?

When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

This is bike control. I think I'd be wearing some more protective gear but that's just me. I wonder how many bikes he goes through in one year..............

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Dickhead?

Iraq is a walk in the park compared to this. Believe it.

Can something be stupid and cool at the same time? You decide. Video is totally safe for work-the website is a little off-color though..............

I like the first answer better.

I make fun of stupid people alot- I kinda admire this guy.

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Whoops.

Here's my next camera. All I need now is money. Check out the rest of the website, lots of good stuff.

Till later.............















Saturday, February 12, 2005

BUSTED............

I caught a shoplifter last night at work. After being in the retail business for 30 years(since I've been 16) you can just pick out the people that you know are gonna shoplift.

Saw some guy eat 2 donuts and never offered to pay for them once he got up to the register. Most thieves are liers and it didn't surprise me when he denied eating anything. The look on his face when we rewound one of the security camera's tapes and he saw himself eating them was priceless.

It almost makes work fun. Too bad the guy now has a permanent record on account of 2 stolen donuts. Dumbass.

Besides being passionate about my family and cycling, my other big interest in life is motorsports. I love the WRC and NHRA drag racing. The WRC boys go sideways down gravel roads at 85 mph and the NHRA drivers go from 0-330 in less then 4.5 seconds. What's not to love?

F1 hasn't been the same since Senna died, NASCAR has become a caricature of itself, and open wheel Indy cars are just plain boring.

Not sure how someone figured this out, but it's quite mind boggling. Here are some more. Is your mind blown as bad as mine after watching them? Wow.

Our next door neighbor loves squirrels. He would need a 3rd pacemaker if he saw this.

This article almost had me................

Where the hell do kids learn this kind of stuff at such an early age? One answer comes to mind.........their parents perhaps? Only in Kentucky.

This clip has been around for awhile............it's still funny.

$100 bucks for a cold soda. Now all I have to do is figure a way to mount and power it on the back of my mountain bike.

Today's "WTF?" link...........

This link is sooooo cool.

Some people mean well, but they are really stupid. Stilletto heels? Please.

This puts a whole new meaning on "rough sex". SFW by the way..........

It'll be kinda hard to "dine and dash" from this place.

Am I a geek? Uh, why yes I am, as a matter of fact. I spent 15 minutes on this site.

Less blood, more money. Nearly a half billion dollars? Unreal.

Unless Nick Lachey is waving his willy around at girls at parties-leave him alone. The less we all hear about Nick and Jessica-the better off we'll all be.

Underground nuclear explosion. Damn.

This, without a doubt- is my favorite link of the day.

With that............seeya all later.......

Friday, February 11, 2005

I have nothing to say........

I have nothing to say..............................

I've helped at over 2 dozen grand openings for the company I work for. I've never heard of anything like this. Of course, I don't work for IKEA either.

Hey, this is what my dog used to be like.

This should make the plumbers happy.

They'll laugh about this when they get older. If they both live that long.

Become an organ donor.

No way. Look what George Foreman started.........

Who said reading my blog is a waste of time? This is a cool website. Go to the "gallery" section for really interesting pictures.

How not to crest a hill.

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Cool website to find out how popular your name is.

This is a neat little article about being middle-aged bike rider. I don't see me strapping on pads and a full-face helmet anytime soon though. Crashing hurts like hell.

Till later..............

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Dress code for fat people............

Okay, before you hunt me down and sit on me-let me clarify my position on overweight people. Ideally, I'd like to see everybody maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle but hey-fat happens. I'm not the skinnest guy in the world.

If you're fat-I'm not gonna make fun of you because of your weight. That would be extremely unkind, however.....................

I do feel totally okay commenting on how people ( just not fat people) dress when they go out in public.......................If you disagree with me-rip my face off in the comments section.

If you're extremely overweight, don't........

-Wear the same clothes you wore when you were skinnier......... If you're a guy, nobody wants to see the lower 6 inches of your hairy stomach. If you're a woman-belly shirts are not sexy when you weigh 250 pounds.

-Don't wear shoes with laces. Hey, if you can't bend over to tie them-do us all a favor and wear loafers....... If you trip on your untied shoelaces-save yourself some embarrassment when 3 people need to help you back up. By the way-this really happened where I work and I felt terrible for the lady that it happened to.

-Do not, I repeat- do not buy all of your clothes from the bargain bin at K-Mart. If you are a little pudgy-so what? God still loves ya the same-but spend some money on nice clothes and maybe a tailored suit or two.

-This one might sound unfair but.......be well groomed. A skinny smelly unshaven person is kinda disgusting but a fat unshaven, dirty smelly person seems worse.

Enough bagging on "big" people........

This is some more common sense stuff............

Wear underwear. If you are a guy-nothing is more disgusting to see than some guy with his gym shorts stuffed up his ass crack . If you're a girl- well, I guess it's okay, unless you're my daughter.

Pajamas. What the hell is up with that? PJ's are for lounging around your house or sleeping. You look like a fashion victim when you are out in public wearing your underwear. Stop it.

Appropriate clothing for the season.......... This one is mostly for guys. If it's 7 degrees out- wear a coat. I see guys out and about wearing shorts,a t-shirt and sandals in the middle of winter. You're not cool-you're a dumbass.

Sunglasses........ If you're inside, take your shades off........unless you're Stevie Wonder.

Cellphones.......... Nobody gives a shit how you and all of your friends are doing-shut up already. If you have a handsfree cell and you walk around talking to people- you look incredibly stupid.

Now that I've vented for the day.....................

Ya'll see this? Wow, that'll save them from going down the toilet.

Google maps. Cool.

This is fun if ya like to shoot stuff. Not safe for work because it will sound like you are shooting stuff in your cubicle.

Chemistry you won't learn in school.

On disadvantage I see with this product is that it would suck if the driver took off while someone was using it.

A college education is no garantee that you'll turn out smart.

I love this person's name.

This is a great idea. Give them jobs patching potholes to earn the money.

Wow. These guys are pissed. Quite a few "F-bombs" in this link. If the "F" word offends you-skip this link.

If you're gonna show off.........have the skills to pay the bills.

Say what?

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Picture just about says it all.

Till later............

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Think Pink.....................

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Saw this bike a couple days ago on Speedgoat.com's website and bought a couple tickets. I sure hope I win it. How cool would a bike colored the same as Pepto-Bismol be? Actually, I'd probably look at it for a few weeks and then sell it or trade it for a nice full-suspension bike. I'd hate to scratch it with all those rare parts on it.

Probably gonna get into trouble for saying this, but.............Girls are pigs. I work with one other guy and 7 women. I think Jason and I spend more time cleaning up after our co-workers then we do baking.

Didn't they teach girls how to use a broom or do dishes in Home Economics back in high school? There, I said it, that oughta tick off any females reading this. Sorry ladies, but you know it's true.

Interesting study. I could stand to lose 15 or 20 pounds to get down to what I weighed before my back injury last year. Soon as it gets warmer outside-I'll be back out there putting the miles in. My ride on Monday with my friend Hank showed me how much slower I've gotten since last year. I'm okay with it though, rode with back pain part of last year-riding without pain is so much better.

Check out these weird seats. I'm wondering what the metal hoop on the one seat is for.............

Good news for smartasses everywhere.

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I think I have a headache.

So what's everybody gonna give up for Lent? Personnaly, I'm thinking about giving up ice cream. For me-that's a big deal-I love ice cream. We'll see how it goes.

Cats and dogs. Plus some other stuff...........

Welcome to Hell.

You read it here first. Hilary will be the Democratic party's choice for the 2008 election, this woman will be the Republican's choice. Believe it.

My friend Ed over at Keystonebiking.com has an article about podcasting on his site, I'm sure this isn't what he had in mind............. I love it when a plan comes together.

What time is it?

Till later..........




Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Glad that's over with...........

Short one today......

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I wonder if I could get this in a bumper sticker?

Got to breathe fryer fumes for 8 hours-made 300 dozen donuts in 8 hours. Gonna take me about 10 seconds to fall asleep this morning............

You can't do this.

Hey, I like the stuff.

Amazing pictures.

Like, wow, dude.

I'm a sick bastard. I laughed my ass off at the end of the video.

Till later........










Monday, February 07, 2005

Tuesday is "Fashnacht" day...............

Everybody know what fashnachts are? They are really greasy donuts made with potato flour and extra spices. I'll be making about 300 dozen of them where I work Monday night and by the time I am done..................
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............I'll be glad to never see one again until next year.

Everybody watch the Super Bowl? Pretty darn good game this year, my wife and I always enjoy the adverts more then the game but this one went down to the wire more then most games. Sir Paul was awesome in the half-time show and he didn't get his boobies out........ I think they should just invite him back every year, how can you top him?

Speaking of frying things........I fryed our daughter's MP3 player. Not sure what I did to it but when I tried to update it- it ceased to function. Whoops. The new one I bought her works better anyways...........

Did get out for a quick ride on Saturday- never got out on Sunday. I took my chopper down to a friend's house for him to check out. I am going to take pictures of everybody that rides it this year and put them online. Damn, that's a fun bike.

Heading out for a Monday AM ride with my buddy Hank-I'm gonna feel the pain.

Good read on Windows. For the most part-the guy is right, Windows is a crappy OS but that's what has most of the programs that our kids use-so that's what we have.

I'd say Museeuw is guilty as hell.

This is a pretty sweet frame. It could be made outta cow dung for all I know- I really like the color.

We went to the movies Saturday night. Saw "Meet the Fockers"....... It's a pretty good movie. I always enjoy watching Dustin Hoffman. I held off on the 4 dollar soda and 5 dollar bucket of popcorn. Wow, that shit is expensive.

Ever see kids play this game at the mall? It's really neat to see the kids lose some weight. Maybe I should get one. It sure it would be fun to watch some middle aged fat white guy (me) try to dance.

See the new Golf viral ad here. Way cool how they did that remix of Fred.

What's wrong with this? .......................My uncle was a sniper in Vietnam.

Shit my pants for a '95 Taurus? I think not.

WTF was the guy gonna do with 3.6 million nickels?

Gun control link of the day. Man, that's a lot of bullets.

You know what's gonna happen. The guy says the "F" word at the end of the video. Do ya blame him?

Here's a car in my budget, here's one that isn't. Speaking about cars.........I wonder if this is going to be the next big thing for hackers. Unreal. I'm gonna get me a 67 GTO and be immune.

Extreme kite flying.

Ann Coulter is a moron.

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Flintstones bike.

I don't think this was a very good idea.

I tried this. Not sure why it worked but it did. I'm a tool.

Till later........probably not gonna post for a couple days-
too busy with work :-(


Saturday, February 05, 2005

Bad weather............

Had a spot of icy weather last night. One thing I really dislike is sharing the road with other drivers that are petrified of driving in bad weather. I followed someone going 3 mph for a few minutes until I could safely pass them- then they layed on the horn like I was forcing them off the road or something. Asshole.

Then shortly afterwards, I spent 10 minutes behind someone that was stopped at the top of a hill because they were afriad of going down it. I felt bad for them , but I passed'em anyways because at that point-my 5 minute commute to work was a 55 minute commute and I was already late.

I drive my wife's Subaru Outback when the weather's bad-it's a great winter car so I suppose I have an advantage.

Gun control? This is gun control.

Search engine for hip people. Go ahead, type something in.

Gotta know html to get this one.

This guy is in shape.

Finally, farts that smell good.

A movie that I plan to see. I love Adam Sandler and Chris Rock.

Whoops. Looks like Culpepper isn't an asshole. My bad.

This is a pretty neat story. I'm extremely happily married but if I had the dog I had when I was a kid now and dated- I wouldn't have many dates. My childhood dog humped anything that moved and some things that didn't.

That's close. I'm not sure how they can figure that out so many years in advance. Sure hope they used some good data.

As a parent of a 17 year old- I like this idea. When I was a kid, my old man already had a law similar to the one discussed in the article. He was ahead of his time.

This can't be for real. Could you imagine working in the ER when they came in? You have an electric toothbrush where? ...................I'd have a problem keeping a straight face.

Riced out toilet. At least he coulda cleaned it before taking pics.........

I know my buddy Ed over at Keystonebiking tests lots of products, maybe someone can send me a pair of these to test out. Check out the price!

Till later.........gonna go for a ridey ride today if it's at least 35 degres. I'm jonesing.


Thursday, February 03, 2005

The president said what?

First off, I have to admit that I didn't listen to the whole speech. Bush may do some things well, but public speaking isn't one of them. It's almost painful to listen to him for any length of time. I browsed a few news articles and from what I gather, here is the main part of his speech...................

-Stay the course in Iraq and continue with making the country a democracy................Sounds like a pretty good plan, but exactly how many Middle Eastern countries are democracys? Personnally, I thought we oughta get them up and running and leave in a big ole hurry before everthing goes to shit again.

Social Security reform..........I read a couple articles about what he said and I sure hope his plan gets blown out of the water. You'll have to register to read this article but it explains it best. The whole plan sounds half-baked and full of holes. What do I know? I make donuts for a living. I'm an expert at holes.

Just a couple random thoughts.................

I can't really name the company I work for but I bought lunch from our deli last night. Got something called "Texas Tuna" evidently, anytime our deli uses the word "Texas" in something they open up every can of spice they have and put them all into whatever they are making.

They just oughta call their Texas Tuna...... "This is gonna burn your ass in 5 hours Tuna" Wow.

I probably don't have many female readers (that's a big shocker, huh?) but why does any woman over the age of 55 or so seem to carry around a purse bigger then a shopping bag? What the hell do they keep in there? A canned ham? I carry a wallet, some change and a set of keys. Don't need any tissues, if I have a runny nose, I just pinch one nostril and blow out the open one. Problem solved.

Why do they sell single rolls of toilet paper? Are they for people afraid to commit to a whole package? You know you're gonna need it, just step up to the plate and buy the 8 pack.

I had someone pull out in front of me at an intersection the other morning. This guy was driving a black Porsche 911 and as he cut in front of me-I layed on the horn. Yeah, I know, it's really childish of me but I couldn't help it. Here's the thing though, as I was giving him some horn-he looked right at me and gave me the finger. Normally, I'd give it right back but as he was busy looking at me-the van in front of him braked to turn in a driveway................crunch.......minor rear ender. Sometimes things happen for a reason.

This should be banned. What a waste of money.

I think they should just ban the damn things while driving.

Anybody wanna see one smart parrot?

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Say what?

Nice. What an asshole. Like he doesn't have enough money to buy another.

What a shot.

Weird. This is just really odd.

This Cannondale is a touch more expensive then my Cannondale road bike. Sure is pretty.

Till later......



Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Spyware stuff plus more useless stuff.

It's my day off, it's 4:30 in the morning and this one is gonna go all over the place.......so hang on.

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Everybody loves donuts.

Just downloaded Microsoft's new spyware tool. Between that and Spywareblaster, Ad-Aware and Spybot S+D, our family computer runs fairly smoothly. Too bad just one program can't catch all the bad stuff!

I really like the interface on Microsofts tool and it provides real-time protection. Not sure why they need my product key but hey, it was free-so I can't complain too much.

Couple of good spyware newsletters.......Langa.com has lots of useful info, same with these guys and these folks as well.

More then you ever wanted to know about toilets and Japanese toilets in particular.

Here's another country for Bush to invade when he's done with Iraq and after he's done fixing Social Security. Oh, by the way-you'll have to register for NY Times articles. Sorry-the read is worth it.

Who's gonna win the Super Bowl? Who cares? They always have great commercials. It's the only football game I watch the entire year.

Wow, yours is pretty small.

This is what ya do when you are bored in the winter. Bet it voids the warranty.

Not sure how I feel about this. Part of me wants thinks it's kinda sick and part of me just wants to book a plane to Scotland. The other part of me wants to try it himself so see how much money I could make.

Fish wine? Urp........... No thank you.

How to tell wether or not you live in the sticks............Can't freakin' believe the part about the telemarketer.

I was a teenager once, this study is a total shocker. Not.

Somebody at CNN has a rectal-cranium inversion.

WTF? My sister-in-law likes penguins, maybe I'll send her the link.

This is a funny video. NSFW due to the F-bomb.........I'd love to hook this up to a couple people I know.

Air Hockey. Woot.

If there was any doubt in your mind that crystal meth is bad............read this story.

Without a doubt, cops have a tough job. they make life or death decisions everyday but tasering a 75 year old woman? I say let the 75 year old woman Taser the cop a couple a times and call it even.

Interesting commentary about Condi...................

Yeah, you were probably wondering if I was going to include any biking content today....................

Jesse James is a prostitute. WCC bikes at Wal Mart? Huffy? Gimme a break.

This guy is pretty cool. 44 years old and still havin' fun. That's what it's all about folks.

I'm sure this was a killer time. Maybe someday................

Win a pink bike.

Some guys riding at one of my fav spots to ride. I've ridden with a couple of those riders-they are pretty good.

Been checking out my web stats, a few folks have linked me on their blogs *way cool*-as soon as I have a chance, I'll return the favor. It kinda blows my mind that folks from Australia, Italy, Iceland and 1 guy from the Ukraine read this every day.

Thanks for reading-Till later..............