Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Evidently, they don't screw around over there in China. If they did the same thing here in the USA, there'd be a whole lot of dead politicians.

Maybe Homeland Security should be renamed and made part of the Immigration Department....they ain't catching too many terrorists. We're losing the war on moisture.

HD-DVD vs Blu-Ray.......I think I'll stick to my VCR and a DVD player for a few more years.

This guy coulda started WW 3.

40 stone=560 pounds.

"It's a sign that we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world.".....nah, just stupid.

This either looks very ominous or like butt cheeks, I can't decide.

Maybe they could just interview Tinky Winky and ask him.

A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Kipling, the town skeptic.

Grumpy old Mr. Kipling went to visit this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"

The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Kipling, "What you need is jar number 47." So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Kipling to taste it.

He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This tastes like shit!" he yelled.

"Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Kipling," said the doctor.

So Mr. Kipling went home.... very mad.
One month later, Mr. Kipling decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. "Doc," he started, "I can't remember anything!"

Thinking he had the doctor stumped now, he waited as the doctor scratched his head, mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47....."

Advertisements in the old days.

I might not be the smartest guy in the room, but don't we already have laws on the books concerning illegal immigrants? Yeah, I know it's a tough problem, but we don't enforce the laws we already have....and how come Bush only speaks in front of the military and governmental employees?

Last Flight February 17, 2007 - by Dick Masters.

0350 curbside at 24th and M, Washington DC. 16 Degrees with a light breeze. Going home after my second week of freezing temps to my home in SoCal. Fly my aircraft, ride a horse, climb a mountain and get back to living. I'm tired of the cold.

0425 paying the taxi fare at Dulles in front of the United Airlines counter, still cold.

0450 engaging the self-serve ticker machine and it delivers my ticket, baggage tag and boarding pass. Hmmm, that Marine is all dressed up early...? Oh, maybe,,,Hmm, "Good Morning Captain, you're looking sharp." Pass Security and to my gate for a quick decaf coffee and 5 hours sleep. A quick check of the flight status monitor and UA Flt 211 is on time, I'm up front, how bad can it be?

Hmmm, that same Marine, he must be heading to Pendleton to see his lady at LAX for the long weekend all dressed up like that....? Or maybe not? "Attention in the boarding area, we will begin boarding in 10 minutes, we have some additional duties to attend to this morning but we will have you out of here on time."

That Captain now has five others with him, BINGO, I get it, he is not visiting his lady, he's an official escort. How I remember doing that once, CACO duty. I still remember the names of the victim and family, The Bruno Family in Mojave..., all of them, wow, that was 24 years ago. I wonder if we will ever know who and why?

On board, 0600: "Good morning folks this is the Captain. This morning we have been attending to some additional duties and I apologize for being 10 minutes late for pushback but believe me we will be early to LAX. This morning it is my sad pleasure to announce that 1st LT Jared Landaker USMC will be flying with us to his Big Bear home in Southern California. Jared lost his life over the sky's of Iraq earlier this month and today we have the honor of returning him home along with his Mother, Father, Brother and uncles. Please join me in making the journey comfortable for the Landaker family and their uniformed escort.

Now sit back and enjoy our ride, we are not expecting any turbulence until we reach the Rocky Mountains and at that time we will do what we can to ensure a smooth ride. For those interested you can listen in to our progress on button 9." Up button 9: "Good morning UA 211 you are cleared to taxi, takeoff and cleared to LAX as filed."

From the time we started rolling we never stopped. 1st LT Landaker began receiving his due. 4 hours and 35 minutes later over Big Bear MT, the AB320 makes a left roll and steep bank and then one to the right...Nice touch CAPTAIN. Five minutes out from landing, the Captain, "Ladies and Gents after landing I'm leaving the fasten seatbelt sign on and I ask everyone in advance to yield to the Landaker family.

Please remain seated until all members have departed the aircraft. Thank you for your patience, we are 20 minutes early."

On roll out, I notice red lights, emergency vehicles everywhere. We are being escorted directly to our gate, no waiting anywhere, not even a pause. Out the left window, a dozen Marines in full dress blues. Highway Patrol, Police, Fire crews all in full dress with lights on. A true class act by everyone, down to a person from coast to coast. Way to go United Airlines for doing the little things RIGHT, because they are the big things; Air Traffic Control for getting the message, to all law enforcement for your display of brotherhood.

When the family departed the aircraft everyone sat silent, then I heard a lady say, "God Bless You and your Family, Thank You." Then another, then another, then a somber round of applause. The Captain read a prepared note from Mrs. Landaker to the effect, "Thank you all for your patience and heartfelt concern for us and our son. We sincerely appreciate the sentiment.

It is nice to have Jared home."

After departing the a/c I found myself along with 30 others from our flight looking for a window. Not a dry eye in the craft. All of us were bawling like babies. It was one of the most emotional moments of my life. We all stood silent and watched as Jared was taken by his honor guard to an awaiting hearse. Then the motorcade slowly made it's way off the ramp. I have finally seen the silent majority.

It is deep within us all. Black, Brown, White, Yellow, Red, Purple, we are all children, parents, brothers, sisters, etc...we are an American family. What you don't know is that on the flight I was tapped on the shoulder by Mrs. Landaker who introduced herself to me after I awoke. Early in our taxi out from the gate at Dulles, the gent next to me (a Fairfax City Council Member and acquaintance of the Thuot family) were talking to the flight attendant and mentioned that we had sons serving on active duty, "What do you say? How tragic, they must be devastated." He said many of the passengers had told him the same thing so somewhere in the flight he shared his tidbits with Mrs. Landaker.

Our flight attendant had been struggling with what to say, to find the right words, so he told the Landaker family of passengers who were parents of service members who connected with their grief as parents. After I gathered myself, I stepped back to their row, two behind me and introduced myself to Mr. Landaker (a Veteran of South East Asia as a Tanker) and Jared's uncle and brother.

What a somber moment.

Their Marine Captain escort was a first rate class act. He had been Jared's tactics instructor and volunteered for this assignment, as he said, "Sir, it is the least I could do, he was my friend and a great stick. He absolutely loved to fly, It's an honor to be here on his last flight."

1115: On my connecting flight, my mind raced. How lucky I was to have had an opportunity to fly my father to Spain and ride the carrier USS John F. Kennedy home in 1981. The same year Jared was born.

How lucky I was to have my father on the crows landing when I made my final cat shot in an F-14. Jared's father never had that chance. Jared was at war, 10,000 miles away. When Mr. Landaker and I were talking he shared with me, "When Jared was born he had no soft spot on his head and Dr's feared he would be developmentally challenged. He became a Physics Major with Honors, high school and college athlete, and graduated with distinction from naval aviation flight school! He was short in stature, but a Marine all the way."

February 7, 2007, Anbar Province, Iraq. - 1st LT Jared Landaker United States Marine Corps, Hero, from Big Bear California, gave his live in service to his country. Fatally wounded when his CH-46 helicopter was shot down by enemy fire, Jared and his crew all perished. His life was the ultimate sacrifice of a grateful military family and nation.

His death occurred at the same time as Anna Nicole Smith, a drug using person with a 7th grade education of no pedigree who dominated our news for two weeks while Jared became a number on CNN. And most unfortunately, Jared's death underscores a fact that we are a military at war, not a nation at war.

Until we become a nation committed to winning the fight, and elect leaders with the spine to ask Americans to sacrifice in order to win, we shall remain committed to being a nation with a military at war, and nothing more.

1st LT Landaker, a man I came to know in the sky's over America on 17 February 2007, from me to you, aviator to aviator, I am unbelievably humbled. It was my high honor to share your last flight. God bless you. Semper Fi - Dick Masters.

3,468 American deaths in Iraq as of yesterday.....

Till later.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Well, we were planning on going for a ride on Monday......on again-off again rain kinda squashed though plans however. About an hour after we canceled the ride it got sunny....go figure.

Whatever, I got to go to my in-laws and have some burgers so it all worked out.

My in-laws are thinking about getting a laptop to use for web browsing, etc so I brought mine over so my mother-in-law could play around some. I think after she gets used to it, she'll really enjoy it.

Top 50 Oxymorons.

Chernobyl: 20 Years After the Disaster.

Today's history break....The San Francisco Earthquake.

Saw this on my friend Tim's website. I don't know if helmets are sexier, but like Tim, I've used up a few helmets on crashes and whatnot- so helmets have probably saved me a few brain cells. I can't afford to loose many, so every little bit helps.

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My father-in-law gave this cartoon. Surprisingly, right around his house there are several open networks....woo hoo internet.

Ya think the Salvation Army is a little greedy or what?

I've probably seen this video 20 times and I never get tired of it.

Today's "Darn, that's pretty cool" link. Hardly anything is impossible if you set your mind to it.

I'd buy one of these. I'm betting you'll never see the technology over here in the USA, automakers probably wouldn't be able to adapt the technology to 3 ton SUV's.

If you're lazy, you can use this to open your bottle of beer.

“If we stayed here for 5, even 10 more years, the day we leave here these guys will go crazy,”

Cheney criticizes the Geneva Conventions in Military Academy commencement address. I'm waiting for his horns to pop out....I think he might be Satan.

This guy musta took lesson from Bush.

If I didn't work in one, I might be tempted to do something like this just for giggles. Nowadays, most retail stores have cameras all over the place so I don't think it would the best idea ever. I know that if you tried to buy 25 boxes of Sudafed in our store, your picture would be sent to all the stores and pharmacies in our chain.

.....that's not how I want my 15 minutes of fame.

Till later.

Remember Me

Remember Me

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Hell freezes over.....

After several years of my pop saying "no" to any new pets.....he has finally relented and agreed with my mom to get a kitty.....

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Meet Molly.

I haven't met the new addition to the family yet, but according to my mom, she is a lap kitty and loves to climb all over my dad.

The cat likes my dad....go figure.

This kind of ride would be right up my alley.

Till later.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

We brake for cake.....

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We do love our cake here at Donut Guy's house. Our daughter made it and our son gave it a lick before we cut it.....

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Sometime in the next week or so, this blog will have reached 100,000 hits. I guess we had the cake a week early....

I think it would be cool if she wins the 500.

Cucumber Pepsi? Urp.

What's wrong with this picture? Somebody is a moran..

My buddy Doug smoked me on this test. He scored perfect and I missed 4....I should be ashamed.

Every article I've read on this subject always mentions diapers.

Who wouldn't want 700 pounds of sausage?

There's crazy...then there's crazy.

Till later.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Class of "77".........

I got a notice in the mail....our 30 year class reunion is this year.
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I've been out of school for 30 years?

Holy crap.

30 years is a long time. On paper, that makes me damn near 50. My ever suffering wife is probably wondering when I'm gonna start acting my age.

Hopefully, never.

Some folks my age are retired already, some are dead and some are like me....just average shmoes out there making a living. I wasn't very close to too many people and I haven't attended any of the previous reunions, so I think I'll go to this one and see how everyone has changed...or died.


Our daughter turned me on to this blog. Very well written, it about a family whose daughter suffers from Congenital Bilateral Perisylvian Syndrome. I haven't read a whole lot of it yet, but what I've read, I've really enjoyed....

Our daughter also made us a fabulous dinner last night. It was a Mexican fiesta....she even wore a fancy hat...
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Pretty cool, huh? She's a pretty darn good kid. Even though she's gonna be 20 this year....she's always gonna be our baby.

I've never seen one of these before. I don't think I'd be sucking on the end of that hose though...I'd hook it up to a shop vac instead.

Here's a car you can eat. More here.

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Our cat is such a floozy. She was watching American Idol when I took the pic.

Here's a very interesting series of articles concerning real estate and home mortgages.

I will be so happy when my van is wore out and I can buy a Smart Car. I've been driving my parents Saturn for the last 2 weeks and I just put gas in it for the first took all of 5 gallons, going back to my gas hog van at the end of the summer is gonna suck.

Seat belts? We don't need no stinkin' seat belts. Actually, I am totally okay with 43 not wearing seat belts.....if he wants to take the chance on taking himself out of the gene pool-I say go for it.

When I'm at work, I use the "0" second college, things are different.

I'm not really, my friends are just trying to shame me into riding with them. Looks like I better take them up on it or I'll never live it down. If any readers of this blog live nearby, please feel free to invite yourselves.....I think we'll be heading out at 1 PM on Monday and trust me on this...the pace will be casual. Just drop a comment in the comments section and we'll keep an eye out for you. If it's like any of the other rides I do, you'll spend more time shooting the shit then doing any serious riding....and that's A-OK with me.

You shouldn't have to be a geek to understand this, but it might help.

I'd love to see Gore run in 2008, but only if he brings his newfound balls with him.

Today's Bushism.

Today's science break.

I know I have several readers in guys aren't all hooligans are you?

What are your kids doing online? We have an internet filter on all our PC's....

It's called Dad.

Our son knows I have software on all the computers in the house that e-mail me a report every morning that tells me what programs were used, when they were used and which web sites were visited on all 3 of our computers.

Our son gets to use his good judgment when he uses the internet.

That's all the filter any parent should need.

Till later.

Just in case......

Just in case you are new here...I am a 47 year old certified pastry chef that likes to ride his bike.

Hence the title of the blog.

What will you see here?

I write about anything and everything that crosses my mind with no rhyme or reason. You'll usually find links to funny stories, not so funny stories, jokes, pictures, my opinion on current events, stuff that happens to me at work, family stuff....whatever floats my boat- I write about it.

What won't you see here?

I generally (but not always) stay away from religion and sex. If I post a story with foul language in it (the F-bomb) I will label the link (NSFW) it's up to you to exercise your judgment on whether you want to click on it.

I would say that I have extremely liberal views on politics and don't hesitate to express my opinions on current events. If you want to express your views in the comments section-go right ahead. Just use common sense and be fairly civil.

I probably won't engage you in conversation concerning your comments...arguing on the internet is like trying to nail Jello to the wall. If I really don't like your comment, I'll more then likely delete it. It might not be fair, but it's my blog so I get to do what I want with it.

Alrighty then..............

At work, we just received non skid protective shoe covers to wear. They come in different sizes and I think mine are slightly too large. Without thinking, I yelled out to a coworker 20 or 30 feet away..."Hey Larry, what size rubbers are you wearing? Mine are too large and they keep falling off" .....Quite a few customers turned around expecting to see what size rubbers I was wearing......

I watch a real estate show on TLC that features first time home buyers. That is some scary stuff, one show featured a couple buying a starter house in Hawaii. Starter houses there cost 700,000 dollars! Our house has almost doubled in value (still not close to 700k) since we bought it but according to some of the facts and figures spouted out by some mortgage company on the show-we could sell our house and "afford" to buy a house that cost twice as much.

Not in this lifetime.

I like the house we live another 10 years or will be all ours.

Great news....most Muslims that live in the USA don't want to blow us up. I feel special.

Politics as usual. I'm pissed off, but I'm not surprised. If Gore had won in 2000, we wouldn't be in the hellhole of a mess. We might be in some other mess, but US service people and half of the Middle East probably wouldn't be getting arms and legs blown off on a daily basis.

Impeach Bush or Get Rid of the Impeachment Clause....makes sense to me.

I wish Sanjaya was still in it. I watched a little of American Idol last night, I'm not sure what the hell "beat boxing"is...but it sounds like Blake has a speech impediment when he does it and Jordin looks like she's having a seizure when she sticks up random fingers when they announce the numbers to vote.

This will help....not. The Justice Dept has enough stuff to worry about.

Mmmmm ...yuck....probably smelled like this.

If you live in Kansas and read this blog.....I sure hope you have a sense of humor.

Today's art break. Art takes many forms.

Imagine how the little girl feels. Somebody oughta crack those two guys upside the head.

Star Wars came out 30 years ago? Damn I'm old.

Butter fried donuts.....better have the first two digits of "911" pre-dialed before you sit down to eat them.

Till later.

Monday, May 21, 2007


A couple of our friends stopped by Sunday afternoon with their twins.

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These two guys are truly something. Our friends got them out of their vehicle and I don't think they stopped moving for the hour or so they were here. They managed to stomp in the water puddle left by me when I washed cars, swung on the tree swing, did the slide and squirted me with water and laughed the whole time they were here.

If every parent had children like these guys-there wouldn't be an obesity epidemic because they had their parents constantly chasing them around. Two truly fun kids.

If you like reading about kids and family, this is a blog you won't want to miss. Unlike this blog, The Camping Machine is family safe 100% of the time and is written way more gooder then this here blog. You'll enjoy it-I promise.

What it's like to be a fisherman...I think I'll stick to making donuts.

I don't usually copy and paste these heartwarming stories like this one, but this one is good...
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe' s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Not very heartwarming, huh?

This one is better....

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ". The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?".

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think the farmer said:


The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Maybe it wasn't better, but at least nobody got stomped to death in that joke.....

Pretty neat optical illusion.

This one is for my pop....Walt Disney's last movie.

Today's science break. It's a little long, but it's a good read.

Someone in our military should read this.

Today's history break......The Civil War in four minutes. Read the comments and it ain't hard to figure out why the world is the way it is.

Bill Maher’s touching tribute to Jerry Falwell.......I wouldn't click this if you were a follower of Jerry Falwell.

Jimmy Carter probably isn't going to go down in history as one of the greatest Presidents, but he's still miles ahead of George W...I admire President Carter for what he's done after he was president....Carter talks the talk and walks the walk. If Bush does good work like Carter 20 years from now....I'll take back what everything bad I've ever said about him.

Proper English....the video might hurt your feelings if you use a lot of slang when you speak. The guy does have a point though...I've trained quite a few people in the past 30 years and how you speak has a lot to do with how other folks perceive you.

I was in our local hospital's emergency room earlier this year when I sliced my finger open, it's not the nicest place in the world-most of the folks there are either hurting or bleeding....but it's hard to imagine how this happened.

I can't believe this guy hasn't resigned yet. He's making George Bush look bad.

Sicko looks like an interesting movie.

Amazing sand castles.

Interesting article about how much is enough. Me? If I was in the "free gas" situation...I'd fill my tank up and be happy with that.

Wash your hands. I make food for a living and from reading this article...I'm betting I wash my hand more often then doctors do.

I like clean donuts.

Till later.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

I hate allergy season....

I was cutting our grass/green stuff out in back of our house the other day and I thought I was gonna die. Not sure what the junk is that's falling out of our trees, but it pretty much makes me sneeze non-stop. I hate allergy season.

Speaking of trees, this is the coolest tree you will see today.

On the bright side-my new hundred dollar Wal-Mart mower is working great. I have to start parking it inside, the squirrels love to chew on all the plastic parts.....

Our neighbor thinks it's a good idea to let their 7 year old son use a power mower to cut the grass. Even though "mom" is right there watching him, their yard has a few hilly spots and I am just waiting for the poor kid to slip and get a foot whacked off. It ain't my kid, so I'm keeping my mouth shut.

This is a pretty cool site if you want to meet someone for coffee.

This guy is sofa king.

I guess things were different back in the 20's. I can't even imagine.....

This guy makes a lot of sense. Make sure you read Sharon's link as well. We aren't the richest folks in the world, but we manage to pay our bills and save for retirement. It's scary to think about how many folks are one paycheck away from disaster.

The commentator does have a point.....Wonder Woman does seem to enjoy riding things.

Jeb Bush isn't busy.....why not give him the job?

I'm guessing the renter didn't get his security deposit back.

I thought Bob Barker was dead.....or at least neutered.

This was one of my hobbies when I was a kid. Heck, who am I kidding, I'm still a kid.

"A man's got to know his limitations" I love Dirty Harry.

Take away the fancy wood trim and the shiny hubcaps and it looks exactly like the car I learned to drive in. It was my dad's company car and it was beat to death. I remember one afternoon he was fiddling around with it because it wasn't idling correctly.

He eventually he ended up putting it into neutral and flooring it for a minute or so. The smoke coming out of the tailpipe changed colors a couple times but afterwards, it purred like a kitten.

You know how I sometimes post links of stupid people doing stupid things?...this is not one of them.

But I like benzene in my soda.

I'm going for a killer ride on Sunday....actually I think it's about 12 or 13 miles on the local rail trail.

It's not the riding part I'm looking forward to, it's a chance to hang out with my friends. A bunch of us get together in the warmer months and it's basically a chance to shoot the shit for a couple hours. We do a midway stop at a nice restaurant and then ride back.

Good times brought to you by your bike....

Till later.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Back up, back up, back up.....

I was running some errands yesterday (I used my bike) and my bank manager asked me how hard it was to recover data off of a hard drive that crashed.

I asked her what she meant by crashed....she said it made lots of funny sounds before it blue screened. Her daughter dropped the laptop off of a table so things probably aren't looking too good.

She had all kinds of stuff on it that she didn't have backed records, documents, school stuff. Depending on how valuable the info is, she might have to resort to something like this. I learned that lesson a couple years ago when a software install went haywire and destroyed all my data...

Since I've been driving my parents 2nd car around....I've discovered I really like sunroofs. Their Saturn has a glass sunroof and it's kinda fun to have it open all the time. I think I'm gonna put the cruise control on, climb out the sunroof, sit on the roof and steer with my feet...

......just kidding dad.

I love looking at online catalogs. One of my favorites that's full of useless stuff is this one. They have some cool stuff but just about all of it is overpriced.

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing worn out flip-flops exposing her cracked heels and filthy toenails.

When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The woman stops screaming long enough to say,

"Hell no they ain't!The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins?

Do you really think they look alike?"

"No," replies the greeter, "But I just find it hard to believe that someone actually had sex with you twice."

I'm not sure what it is about Wal-Mart and loud ill-behaved children, but that's where I see them most of the time. It must be the low prices.

The same thing happened here in our area a few years ago, except the drunk guy got shot dead by the homeowner.

No least she doesn't have to worry about brain damage. It's amazing I didn't kill myself growing up....back then bike helmets weren't invented yet. Nowadays, the only place I ride without a helmet is the rail riding without a helmet on the rail trail dangerous? Maybe a tiny bit, but I love the feeling of the wind blowing against my expansive forehead.

I dig old car commercials.

Fast forward TV...I rarely watch television "real time" I usually tape a bunch of TLC and Discovery Channel stuff and watch whenever I get the time. I call it "Surprise TV" because by the time I get around to watching what I taped, I usually forget what's on each VCR tape.

I wonder who they used for the mold.

Today's history break......color pictures from the early 40's.

Bill Clinton has a great sense of humor. Who knew?

Mmmmm, so that's why she had a headache.

A different take on Disneyworld by James Lileks.

Jerry Falwell passed away....judging from some of these quotes....I'd say he had already lost most of his mind.

The best part of this story is where the thief lives.

Who doesn't love a good pissing contest?

Hey, their political system is just like ours.

This dude definitely knows how to take a joke too far. I'd never do anything like that.

The older I get, the less I like riding in traffic. Maybe it's all the assholes with cell phones or maybe I have less tolerance for stupid drivers.

Probably a little of both.

Till later.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Started over.........

I was still having problems with my laptop freezing up so I decided to format the whole thing. If you aren't familiar with the term "format", that means I erased everything and started over from scratch.

Not too big a deal since I had back-ups of everything, just a pain in the hiney reinstalling all my applications...not sure what was wrong before, but starting over with a fresh copy of Windows really restored the "snap" to my laptop....

Here's a picture of our kids from Saturday's confirmation....

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That's one tall 13 year old. I don't remember what I was like when I was 13, but I'm sure proud of our 13 year old.....and our 19 year old as well.


This is really sad...and we're all to blame.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.....

I finally got myself out on a ride on Sunday....

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Of course, I rode my Cross-Check after I gave it a good cleaning...the last time I really gave it a good cleaning was last year after coming back from Myrtle Beach.

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Anyone recognize the building in the background?

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It's the world famous Shoehouse.

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Lots of open fields still left.....for now.

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Not many homes like this one left.

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Believe it or not, this is 5 minutes from downtown.

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This guy has been in the ground for a long time.

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So have most of the other people buried here.

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Back to suburbia......I know I live in a fairly nice house, but some of the newer houses going up near us are obscenely large. I guess that size of house works if you have lots of money to pay for it and all the related expenses. I kinda like not being a prisoner to a mortgage...leaves more money for the important things in bicycles. Whatevs, it felt great to get out for a couple hours and spin the cranks.

There's gonna be a lot of trailer trash getting a new number tattooed over their "8"s...I guess I'm sounding a tad harsh but I know some folks that have tons "8" merchandise and I work with a guy with a "3" tattoo that he had turned into an"8" tattoo. Hopefully Dale's new number will have an "8" in it...

110 degrees would be kinda hot....with our famous East coast humidity, it oughta be unbearable.

I think this is a great idea. One or two drinks a day won't kill you, but one or two cigarettes could.

Tim found a great article about wearing your helmet.

Ever wonder what it looks like when you scan your face on the office copier? Wonder no more.

Comcast drops the ball on E911. We have a wired POT here at our house just for that reason. We have enhanced 911, all we have to do is call and our address shows up on the dispatchers screen.

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I bought my own plane.

Meat cake.

Grandma has a bigger set then I do. Ain't no way you can make me jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

I don't think these are for me. I'll stick with my regular boxers thankyouverymuch.

This guy is pretty damn smart.

I'm borrowing my parents 2nd car for the summer so our daughter can have the use of my van to go back and forth to work. I forgot how low a regular car sits....SUV's are really hard to see around when you are so low to the ground.....

Till later.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Our daughter is home from college...

Sure is nice to have the entire family under one roof, even if it's only gonna be for a couple months. All I can say is our daughter brought home way more stuff then she went with. It almost didn't all fit in my van.

We got to meet her boyfriend, seems like a really nice young man. I only got to talk to him for a couple minutes, maybe our daughter can invite him up from Delaware for a couple days sometime this summer.

Our son's confirmation is today, so it's gonna be a busy weekend with Mom's day and all, probably be the last post I do for a couple days....


This has got to be one of the dumbest things I've seen in awhile.

No, this might be dumber.

Think your commute sucks? I'm rather lucky, mine is 10 minutes on a bad day. We experienced some nasty traffic on Rt 222 going to the Allentown area yesterday, the highway ends and dumps you out onto a regular 3 lane highway. Traffic gets backed up for miles everyday and there isn't a whole anyone can do about it except just sit there.

I sure hope they have room for her for a couple weeks.......

Till later.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Everybody needs a good plumber....

We had a clogged up drain in our laundry room that our plumber fixed. I was supposed to call and make an appointment 2 weeks ago and I kinda forgot. I called up Monday and our plumber fit us in on Wednesday.

My pop always said to make friends with a good plumber and a good auto mechanic.

Our plumber Randy is a family friend and also one heck of a nice guy. He has more business then he can handle but always makes time for us when we need him.

I asked Randy why he doesn't have any advertisement on the side of his truck, he looked at me like I was crazy and just laughed, he doesn't want anyone to know he's a plumber, he already has way more work then he can handle.

Anyways, it was kinda cool catching up on stuff. We are both parents of college age kids and it was kinda funny how we both talked about our kids and how proud we are that our children might just be the kids that make a difference. Randy's daughter will be leaving in a couple weeks for Guatemala to do 2 years of missionary work....

My wife and I did the only project I really wanted to get done this out the garage. Took a couple hours and we were ruthless about throwing junk out...we ended up with at least a dozen garbage bags full of stuff.

Ever wonder what 426 tons of explosives look like when they explode?

This one will send shivers up your spine....The Day Before.

Are you the "Fifth Guy"?

Anyone using Windows Vista yet? We bought a Vista laptop 2 weeks after they came out and other then a few program incompatibilities, it's been all good.

Here are a few laws to consider...............

Zappa’s Law and Other Facts of Life

Here are some other immutable laws of the universe to consider:

Zappa’s Law: "There are two things on Earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity."

The Murphy Philosophy: "Smile. Tomorrow will be worse."

Baruch’s Observation: "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

Lowe’s Law: Success always occurs in private, and failure in full public view.

Todd’s Law: "All things being equal, you lose."

Thompson’s Theorem: "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

Vac’s Conundrum: "When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal."

The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences: "Whoever has the gold makes the rules."

The Unspeakable Law: "As soon as you mentioned something …
- if it’s good, it goes away.
- if it’s bad, it happens.

Green’s Law of Debate: "Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about."

Helen’s Law: "There is no time like the present to procrastinate."

Sdeyries’s Dilemma: "If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don’t want hits the paper."

The Queue Principle: "The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line."

Johnson’s Law: "If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue that contained the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read."

Issawi’s Law of Progress: "A shortcut is the longest distance between two points."

Ginsberg’s Theorem:
1. You can’t win.
2. You can’t break even.
3. You can’t even quit the game.

I think Zappa's Law is my favorite.

Click on the double arrows to experience their full flavored goodness.

Mmmm, yum, canned catfish.

Today's history break.

C'mon daddy, git yer weiner wings.....I do love cheese.

Till later.

My laptop was sorta hosed.......

Ever hear the story about the automobile mechanic that does great work but drives a 15 year old rust mobile? Well, same thing here with computers....I picked up something from somewhere that was freezing my cursor up on occasion. Whatever it was is gone, I did some housecleaning and a few spyware scans and it's as good as new. For some reason I had to reinstall all the audio drivers, I guess I got a little over zealous when I was deleting stuff.

This is so ridiculous, it's funny. Seriously, does she actually think Arnie would chuck his political career into the trash just to save her skinny ass from going to prison? Maybe she can make a reality show out of her experience. Martha Stewart sucked it up and did her time, Paris should do the same....I say, lock her ass up.

Have I mentioned lately how awesome my wife is?

Well, she is. She is also a very good multi-tasker just like our daughter. I guess that's where our daughter got it from. This morning my wife worked out, got a shower, baked a cake, made dinner and was out the door before 6AM. She's a damn good cook. I'm an extremely lucky man. Just thought I'd mention it.

I made myself a cocktail last night before I went to bed, I think I'm not used to alcohol because I slept real good.

Our son was showing me a chart he found online showing how impaired you get from the number of drinks you have over time. Seeing that I only had one drink-the chart said I wasn't impaired.

I must not have a very high tolerance for alcohol, because while I know I wasn't all boozed up, the one drink I had made me floaty headed.

Well, more floaty headed then normal.

I don't think I would want to drive a car, even with just having one drink.....

I stopped down at my folks house yesterday and showed my mom how to back up stuff onto her portable hard drive. Since she is writing a book, she wanted to make sure she was backing it up properly in case something happened to her laptop. Since I wasn't familiar with the software she was using, I kinda lost her stuff for a couple minutes. I knew I didn't delete it, I just couldn't figure out where it was. Moral of the story, learn things before you go poking around.

By the way, I got a semi-sneak preview of the book....I'm not saying this because the book is being written by my mother, but....I wouldn't be surprised to see it published at some point and become a best seller-I think it's gonna be tight....and that's all I'm allowed to say.

More on that raw chicken sandwich I posted about yesterday.

In the scheme of things... we are kinda small potatoes.

If you have an AOL might want to read this. Back in the day, I used to have an AOL account and there were lots warez out there to crack passwords and imitate AOL staff in chatrooms. Don't know about now, but 10 years ago, they weren't very secure.

Best top ten list you will see today.

I got a free oil change this morning. I first the first customer at the oil change place and the guy couldn't get his computer to boot up, so I spent 10 minutes playing around with some settings and got him up and running. Not sure if it had to do with it being Patch Tuesday but I wouldn't be surprised....Needless to say, the guy was really happy because he was 2 people short and they were starting to get real busy.

It was almost like I was "Super Computer Guy"

Till later.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I'm not a multitasker...

I have AIM installed on my laptop because sometimes our daughter uses my computer over the summer. She can use the instant messenger and do other stuff at the same time.... I must say she amazes me with her multitasking abilities. She is able to...

-Watch a movie on her laptop
-Instant message friends
-Talk to people on her cell
-Have a conversation with her mother
-Watch a television show
-Pet the cat

She can do this all at the same time.


I have trouble walking and talking at the same time.

Instant messaging just confuses the heck out of me. Same thing with text messaging. I figure if ya got a cell phone......just call the person up you are texting.....instead of wearing out your fingers. Whatever, I'm just an old coot.

She has definitely inherited some special ability from her mother. All I can say is I married extremely well. My wife is extra smart, has an great sense of humor and she is darn good looking to boot and she probably contributed 80% of all the "good stuff" our 2 children have, including doing more then one thing at a time.

I contributed the 20% that has to do with riding a bike, fishing, belching really loud and generally acting like a goofball....

I never really got into comic books when I was a kid, so as a result...I'm not into movies like Spiderman. From what I understand, this movie has to make close to 750 million bucks before it breaks a profit. Yeah, I know it actually only costs 500 million but I guess the rest is in marketing costs. Whatever, I like movies with car chases and explosions and bus plunges better.

This is an interesting British study concerning TV and young children. I kinda think it misses the point. It's not the TV that makes children into dolts, it's bad parenting. Do those 3 year olds go out to the store and buy their own televisions for their bedrooms?

I love scale models....this is an amazing 1/6 diorama.

Remember the chicken link from last post? Here's another chicken horror story. I work with food all day and I'm ServSafe certified and I've been through all the instructor courses as well...the person who was responsible for that sandwich oughta be fired-no questions asked. Food safety ain't that damn hard, it's mostly common sense, personal hygiene and temperature control.

I never realized that there were 20 Republican candidates running for the nomination. Out of all of them...I'd have to go with Reagan since he's dead and would probably do the least harm if elected. Out of the Democrats......I'd go for Optimus Prime to win the whole shootin' match.

Maybe the next election will be like this. Or not.

I sure hope George doesn't try to give the Queen a neck massage....nah, he just winked at her.

I've been accused of being a Bush basher.......I'm okay with that.

An interesting take on the situation in Iraq. I would add that the hole in the boat was there for the last 1400 years and we were dumb enough to let Bush pull the spike out. I thing we oughta plug the hole up with him.

Here's what I spent my Tuesday morning on.....
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I washed and waxed my wife's car. Looks pretty good for being 7 years old. I think we'll keep it until it's all used up....actually our daughter is going to inherit this car next year, she's gonna need one to get around for school. It's amazing how dirty a car gets from all the winter sure cleaned up nice.

Damn, whoever wrote this trojan did a good job. That's why it's important to not open attachments....Oh, no worries about clicking on the link, it's only a link to a YouTube video of the exploit in action.

More fun stuff tomorrow....

Till later.

Monday, May 07, 2007

I'm having a blast.......

I get to sleep like normal people this week.... although on my first day of vacation, I woke up at 12:30 in the morning. At least I got an early start to the festivities. You wanna know what's on TV at 1 in the morning?

Not much.

I watched a few hours of Texas Hold'em on ESPN. Being a professional poker player doesn't look all that hard but I suppose that if it was easy....everyone would be doing it.

I managed to get a few things done on Monday, got the rats nest of cables under our computer table cleaned up, and I put away all my winter clothing.

I also bought stuff to fix the toilet. I'm not much of a plumber but I think I can tackle replacing the little flapper valve thingamabobber....if you don't hear from me again, that means I filled the house up with water.

Next up is tackling the garage.......

If you are using a wireless router and use WEP for your security might be a good time to update your router settings. I can access 6 different wireless networks from my house and all of them use WEP...actually 2 of them are totally unsecured.

Here's a good tip if you use public copier machines.

Here's a dog that likes Indian music.

We need these in America.

I can see how folks get aggravated by technology. I have a couple of clients that are in their mid 70's that not only get bedeviled by their computer from time to time, their cell phones, digital camera and VCR all having confusing interfaces and tiny buttons with barely readable typefaces. To someone like me that is used to most of that stuff, it's not too big a deal, but if you can't read the damn can be a little frustrating.

This is today's art break.

My pop is gonna dig this. He's a bigtime Disneyland fan. I'm downloading the MP3 and burning it onto a set of CD's for him....

I love the Science Club...this time they test out what if feels like to be "legally drunk".... Me? It's been years since I've consumed more then 3 bottles of beer or the equivalent in wine or mixed drinks. It's like my old man said to me one time...."You don't go to a party and drink a dozen sodas, why drink 12 beers?" Makes sense to me. I get a horrible hangover if I drink more then 2 beers anyways.

79 Percent Of Americans Missing The Point Entirely.

Didn't I say gas was gonna be 4 dollars a gallon soon?

This article will probably kill your appetite for chicken.

This certainly isn't good news if you live in NOLA.

USA is the winner......of the fat race.

I saved the best link for last......all I thought when I saw the pictures of this house is that if it caught fire, it would burn for days.

I'm going to bed, till later.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Vacation... time for a couple of beers.

Taking the first of my 3 weeks of vacation next real big plans. I plan to get out for some rides in the woods and parking my fat ass on the front porch and catching up on some reading.

About the only time I drink alcohol is when I'm on vacation, so I'll probably go to the beer store and buy a 6 pack of beer. 4 of those beers will probably sit in the fridge until next year, I guess I'm a 2 beer a year kind of guy...

I do have a couple things I wanna do now that I think of it. I want to rearrange our computer work area, currently I have 2 laptops, a printer, and a monitor all in one area. That's not too bad, but there are about 900 feet of assorted cables all over the place I'd like to clean up.....and I really need to clean up the garage.

George Bush missed his stop on the "clue train" again....gotta thank Doug for that link.

Lots of times there is a another side to a story, but on the face of this article....the judge sure seems like a dick.

Cry me a river, Paris. You're lucky you aren't my kid. I'd be thanking the judge for sending your ass to jail for 45 days. Hopefully you won't get out of it and possibly learn something.

Ron Paul has a snowball's chance in hell of winning the election, but I'd vote for him.

Till later.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Check this ride out if you live in PA...

Some fellow Pennsylvania riders are getting together for a ride.......Looks like it would be fun to participate but I am just coming back from vacation that weekend....

Have a great ride and post up some pics afterwards....

Friday, May 04, 2007

Join the Army.....

I know that not all of my readers ride bikes, but most of you know who Lance Armstrong is.....

Join Lance's Army.

Pass it on...I'll be happy if I see 5 people in my comments section who signed up.

Till later.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Can you see your pee-pee?

Just to be clear.... here's how I define if someone's fat........

When you can hide things in folds of your skin or you can't see your genitals without a mirror-you're fat. I ain't the skinniest guy in the world, but I don't need a mirror, if you get my drift.....

We get about a bazillion catalogs here at our of my favorites is the Sharper Image catalog. I don't think I've ever bought anything out of one, it's just fun to browse though the overpriced merchandise. Trump Steaks made me laugh out loud. Anyone that would pay 200 bucks for 4 steaks and 12 hamburgers has a rectal-cranial inversion...I don't care how good they are, if you pay that much for so little product-you have more money then common sense.

Bike catalogs are an entirely different matter however......

I rarely buy stuff out of them, but it sure is fun to page through them. Sure, I like a bargain when I see one in a catalog, but I usually spend most of my cash at the LBS. The last time I was in my regular shop, I had them total up my purchases since I started buying stuff from them.

It was a very large number.

Blah, blah, blah..... here's another newsflash. Every time I wonder what else could go wrong in Washington......something always comes up and tops the previous screw-up. I've yet to be proven wrong.

"If you've got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I'm talking about."—discussing the sorts of jobs many illegal immigrant workers perform, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007.......I'll give you one guess who said that.

Speaking about wrong...I think these guys are wrong as well. I bet we'll easily see 4 dollar a gallon gas before Labor Day. What are most people gonna do? They'll pay it and not buy something else. I hate putting more money into the hands of the oil companies....

There are two kinds of computers users....those that have experienced a hard drive crash and lost everything and those that will. My mom is writing a book and I made sure she bought a portable hard drive to back up all her work. I do the same and recommend one to all my clients that would cry for a week if their hard drive melted.

If you just browse to web and answer's no biggie if you toast a drive but if you have school work or tax records stored on your computer, you're tempting fate if you don't back up to another computer or portable hard drive.

One of my readers hates buying stuff from salespeople as much as I do. Salepeople that get me on the phone get a terse " No thank you" before they hear dial tone. Knock on my front door and not be selling Girl Scout cookies? Same deal, but instead of a dial tone, you'll get a face full of front door. We had a window salesperson here last year and we experienced the same thing Ultramagnetic Commuter did with prices. The less we seemed interested-the lower the price got.

Since I like to take the "nutjob view" most of the time....I'm voting for this guy. I'm not saying he's a nutjob, but he makes too much sense to get himself elected.

Wal-Mart goes to China to buy all the crap we buy here is's where the money ends up.

Today's science break.......damn, that's one big hole.

He’s Impeachable, You Know. That would put some piss in George's cornflakes....

Till later.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I'm not really an asshole....honest.

Buddy of mine e mailed me about my remarks yesterday about fat people riding lawn tractors.....thing is, he's a big guy and he rides a lawn tractor to cut his yard. He thinks I'm prejudiced when it comes to fat people.

I'm gonna be honest and say I might be somewhat less then sympathetic to folks that are more then 100 pounds overweight .......I'm also not very understanding to smokers.

If you are extremely overweight and aren't concerned about your health or you enjoy smoking....good for you. You probably have family members that think otherwise, so when you light up that next smoke or eat 6 donuts for breakfast.....just keep in mind that someone out there would probably like you to be more healthy so you stick around on Earth for a little longer.

and if you smoke?

There ain't nothing good gonna come outta that, so quit already. Doesn't matter if it takes you 20 tries before it sticks...don't give up because the smokes will kill you or make your life miserable at some point down the road.

On second thought...maybe I am an asshole sometimes....

I was gonna slip in a ride on Monday morning but my knees were killin' me. When I was younger, I used to just ignore the pain and try to ride through it. Not this time, I don't want to spend all summer hobbling around like an old man, so it looks like I am gonna have to ease into some longer rides this summer.

Newspaper circulation continues to fall. It's gonna drop by one more if the guy delivering our paper can't start to hit our front porch real soon.

He loves "running down a ditch full of mud, firing bullets." ...the dude sounds like a real wanker to me. Maybe he's a distant cousin of Bush ...neither one of them seem to have a firm grasp on reality.

Check out this short little movie from 1967. It's how things were supposed to be in 1999. I bet their paperboy was worthless too.