Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Part of the problem.......

This is part of the problem.....

Networks continue to ignore NY Times ' military analyst story, but all find time for Hannah Montana

Read the BBC new website or Reuters for some decent news from a different prospective.

Thanks for the postcard Ray......

Ray....I'm not sure where in Minneapolis that picture was taken it....but it looks damn cold. It doesn't seem a whole bunch warmer this week here in beautiful south central Pa. I was up in the 70's last week, now it back down in the 40's and 50's.

Thanks for the postcard.

It made my day.

Not sure how the folks in Alaska deal with the snow for what seems 9 months out of the year. I'd go batshit crazy if it was snowing in late April. Then again, Alaskans probably don't get the mind numbing humidity we get in August.....and if they do, they're too busy tuning up their snow blowers for the soon to be arriving snow to worry about it.

I did have one of those stat counter thingies on my blog until the web site sponsoring it went away. I signed up for Google Analytics a few months ago and promptly forgot about it. Not sure what jogged my memory, but I went and checked all my stats...something like 175 to 200 people read this stuff everyday?

No way.

I think I written this before, I don't blog for anyone but myself....I enjoy writing stuff and having a record of it, so maybe in 30 years I can go back to see exactly what the hell I was thinking at different points in time. Maybe my grandkids can read about how crazy and unbalanced their grandfather was before he rode his Surly off a bridge at 3 in the morning at age 87.....

Just kidding, I'd never ride my Surly that late at night at that age...by then I'll probably stick to riding when it's light out.

I really can't see getting burnt out writing because I enjoy it so darn much...so if you keep reading-that's your own damn fault. Go ahead and leave a comment, disagree with me if you want....just be half-way civil about it.

I did have a Comcast rep reply in the comments section of my post about me dumping Comcast....I have to say our local reps are the nicest folks to deal (nice on the phone and they show up on time for appointments) with but overall, they've increased their rates a lot over the past 2-3 years and since we had to get a converter box to watch certain channels......my wife's all-time favorite channel (Turner Classics) doesn't work. It's supposed to work but all we get is a blank screen.

Frustrating to say the least.....I'll call them one more time to see if they can fix the problem.
_____________________________________

In my opinion....this is why the death penalty is a bad idea.

I think John McCain would be a bad president....but damn-is the media bored or what?

Proving that I might be a liberal nut job......wouldn't it just be easier if we legalized and taxed it?

70 billion dollar windfall and corruption at the same time? Who woulda thunk it?

Oblivious as usual.....9 more months. I just hope he doesn't invade another country in his remaining time.

Sportsmanship.

I wonder where his other shoe got to.

Chocolate in cereal.....no wonder the USA is full of fat people.

Finally...don't click on banner ads.(<---this is safe to click) Install this and you won't even see 99.8% of the banner ads out there.

till later.

Monday, April 28, 2008

I like to ride with stuff..........

Reconfigured my handlebars yesterday...I must be getting old or something, I hate being bent over the front bars-give me all kinds of back problems. I flipped my Nitto mustache bars upside down, looks kinda dorky but I think it will help.
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I have just about anything a person would need on a bike trip stuffed into my luggage trunk....tubes, a pump, a couple patch kits, bungee cords, toe straps, a first aid kit, a multi tool, a Leatherman, zip ties, a camera, a cell phone, paper towels, chain lube, hand cleaner, plus I carry food with me when I do long rides.

It probably weighs a ton, but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and it feels like a rocketship when I just run with a seatbag.

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I wonder if the sticker makes it a business vehicle?

Holy crap.....gas in our area is almost 3.75 a gallon.....with no end in sight of further increases.

My wifes car gets reasonably decent mileage-she averages almost 25 miles to the gallon. My van on the other hand doesn't do as well-it's closer to 14 mpg. I mostly drive in town so there ain't a whole lot I can do about it.....except ride my bike more.

Sure, I can buy my Smart car, but that doesn't make much sense when I have a fully paid off vehicle with only 55,000 miles on it.

Oh well...I need the exercise. I just wish there was a safe way to commute to work at night from my house, but all the roads skeeve me out...no shoulders and too many narrow roads with blind curves and rises.

More proof that I'm getting old and crochetey....I switched cell phones with our son, my new sleek cell phone has tiny little buttons I was having trouble hitting with my fat fingers, so I gave him mine and I took his. His phone buttons aren't much bigger, but every little bit helps.
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Excuse my poor choice of words....but this is the pot calling the kettle black. McCain and his 2nd wife owns something like 6 or 7 houses.....my dear mother will tell you this and I think she's on to something-most politicians are crooks.

More home inspection nightmares.

50 really neat pictures....my favorite is number 20.

I want one of these....looks like fun, huh?

Not every one who wants a blog has one yet. I like the shirt.

till later

Sunday, April 27, 2008

New podcast I like...plus the paperguy is pissing me off.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a kinda off-beat sense of humor....so this podcast is right up my alley. Kinda hard to explain but I really enjoyed the first 4 episodes....

Looks like I have to train a new paper delivery person.... since I used to be a paperboy, I'm a hardass when it comes to how I want my newspaper is delivered. I want to open up the front door and pick it up off the front porch. I do not want to walk to the end of my driveway or the middle of my front yard or the garden or have it delivered on the ground next to the mailbox...where all the dogs relieve themselves.

My plan... I'm gonna call the paper up every time I don't get it delivered to my door and tell them I am missing my paper. I pity the poor district manager that's gonna have to come out every time the paper ain't in front of my front door.

Today, it's in the middle of my front yard and it's probably wet since it rained last night. I figure after awhile, the district manager will get the shits of coming to my house and read the riot act to his paper delivery guy....who will then probably launch the paper through one of our front windows.

My wife and sister went to NYC yesterday to spend the day hanging out....my sister-in-law took her for my wifes 4*th birthday.

Ain't no way I sayin' her age.

I will say she's younger than me and way better looking.

Honestly, (and I'm not saying this because I know she reads this blog) she easily looks 10 years younger then what she is....anyways-they had a great time and went to see this. Cool, huh?

Last night at work, we were comparing pictures of our kids that we have on our phones....I won the contest for best pictures-I have pictures of our kids(Dan and Katie) from age 1 to their current age on my iPod touch. One of the ladies I work with just had a baby boy and she brought him in to show him off.....he was the cutest little guy. I wish I woulda had my wal-mart camera with me- I would have took a pic of him.

The one billion dollar girl. Wow...who woulda thunk it? I say, good for her-hopefully her family did a better job of raising her than some of the other young famous women I could mention. Jeez, when I was 15, I was more concerned about my bicycle and not flunking out of Spanish.

Today she trails Illinois Sen. Barack Obama in convention delegates, campaign cash and the popular vote.....How'd that happen? My guess is that listening to her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to lots of folks....whatever-anybody but McCain.

If I had the money...I'd buy another laptop with XP on it before it disappears. We have a laptop with Vista on it that our son uses and it works okay, but I like XP better....if only money grew on trees.

We have Comcast.....as soon as FIOs shows up around here....we are done with their internet service. For the same price -we can get way faster download speeds...more speed makes me (and our kids) happy campers.

Redneck bee removal (a few F-bombs in the text)...I'm glad this guy isn't my neighbor-although it woulda been fun to watch.

This probably wasn't very much fun...especially if you work in a grocery store.

You know you gotta lay off the fast food when you need one of these.

Eating monkey brains with a spoon while you’re pregnant is NOT okay.

What did we do before plastic was invented? I'm not "Mr. Ecology" but there has to be a better answer.

This map is amazing and not in a good way. There are so many ways to attack this problem but it's gotta start with moms and dads being better parents to their kids.

I absolutely love where Drew Carey is going with this web site. Scroll down and on the left side near the bottom is a list of his past videos for the site....good stuff.

till later.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Another unusual name...

You're gonna have to use your imagination for this one........

1:30 in the morning....

Picture a guy......

weighing at least 350 pounds....

shaved head....

flamed bowling shirt.....

covered in tattoos......

Tom Selleck shorts....

and a voice exactly like Mike Tyson.

Not a normal looking person, huh? I wasn't sure if he was a walking grease fire or a refrigerator with legs......

He wanted this......
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written on a birthday cake.

Takes all kinds....that's what makes my job interesting.

till later.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Donuts at any price......

Food prices keep going up and up amid news of worldwide food shortages. In the bakery where I work at, donut prices have increased 3 times in the past 5 months.

Has that slowed down the purchase of sweet treats?

I'd have to say ........hell no.

I make about 1800 donuts a night and last night when I went to work....there were 23 donuts left over. Usually we have at least enough to fill up a banana box.


Not sure if folks are hoarding food or not but no worries.....I'll make more donuts as long as I have 50 pound sacks of flour to work with.

The thing that doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy all over is when some toothless fat old man on oxygen in a motorized shopping cart chews my face off because we are out of his favorite donut at 11:30 PM.

I wanted to slice the tires of his fatboy cart.

Sometimes I hate retail.

Sometimes I like cats....and dogs.

till later.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

New York called...they're missing a Senator.

Here's this morning's Op-Ed for the Times..........

April 23, 2008
Editorial

The Low Road to Victory


The Pennsylvania campaign, which produced yet another inconclusive result on Tuesday, was even meaner, more vacuous, more desperate, and more filled with pandering than the mean, vacuous, desperate, pander-filled contests that preceded it.


Voters are getting tired of it; it is demeaning the political process; and it does not work. It is past time for Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to acknowledge that the negativity, for which she is mostly responsible, does nothing but harm to her, her opponent, her party and the 2008 election.


If nothing else, self interest should push her in that direction. Mrs. Clinton did not get the big win in Pennsylvania that she needed to challenge the calculus of the Democratic race. It is true that Senator Barack Obama outspent her 2-to-1. But Mrs. Clinton and her advisers should mainly blame themselves, because, as the political operatives say, they went heavily negative and ended up squandering a good part of what was once a 20-point lead.
On the eve of this crucial primary, Mrs. Clinton became the first Democratic candidate to wave the bloody shirt of 9/11.

A Clinton television ad — torn right from Karl Rove’s playbook — evoked the 1929 stock market crash, Pearl Harbor, the Cuban missile crisis, the cold war and the 9/11 attacks, complete with video of Osama bin Laden. “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen,” the narrator intoned.
If that was supposed to bolster Mrs. Clinton’s argument that she is the better prepared to be president in a dangerous world, she sent the opposite message on Tuesday morning by declaring in an interview on ABC News that if Iran attacked Israel while she were president: “We would be able to totally obliterate them.”

By staying on the attack and not engaging Mr. Obama on the substance of issues like terrorism, the economy and how to organize an orderly exit from Iraq, Mrs. Clinton does more than just turn off voters who don’t like negative campaigning. She undercuts the rationale for her candidacy that led this page and others to support her: that she is more qualified, right now, to be president than Mr. Obama.


Mr. Obama is not blameless when it comes to the negative and vapid nature of this campaign. He is increasingly rising to Mrs. Clinton’s bait, undercutting his own claims that he is offering a higher more inclusive form of politics. When she criticized his comments about “bitter” voters, Mr. Obama mocked her as an Annie Oakley wannabe. All that does is remind Americans who are on the fence about his relative youth and inexperience.


No matter what the high-priced political operatives (from both camps) may think, it is not a disadvantage that Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton share many of the same essential values and sensible policy prescriptions.

It is their strength, and they are doing their best to make voters forget it. And if they think that only Democrats are paying attention to this spectacle, they’re wrong.
After seven years of George W. Bush’s failed with-us-or-against-us presidency, all American voters deserve to hear a nuanced debate — right now and through the general campaign — about how each candidate will combat terrorism, protect civil liberties, address the housing crisis and end the war in Iraq.

It is getting to be time for the superdelegates to do what the Democrats had in mind when they created superdelegates: settle a bloody race that cannot be won at the ballot box.


Mrs. Clinton once had a big lead among the party elders, but has been steadily losing it, in large part because of her negative campaign. If she is ever to have a hope of persuading these most loyal of Democrats to come back to her side, let alone win over the larger body of voters, she has to call off the dogs
.

Pretty much sums it up for me. She really needs to pack it up and go back to being a Senator.

Roughly a third of all American high school students drop out.

Damn, that's one scary statistic.

till later.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Today is Earth Day.......

Today is Earth Day.......go out and plant a tree.

...or take a walk and appreciate what we haven't killed, chopped down or polluted yet.

till later.

Monday, April 21, 2008

It's almost over.....

The media barrage that has hit PA in the last 6 weeks is almost over.

After all of the campaigning....both candidates will probably come close to a tie....which will prove exactly nothing and extend the media circus a few more weeks. I can hardly wait.

Out of the 3 people left in the race-I'd like to see Obama win in November, my only concern is his lack of experience. Hopefully, he's smart enough to surround himself with intelligent people......20 years of Clinton and Bushes are enough for me.

I was going to start some yard work on my day off, but Mother Nature had other plans...mostly rainy Sunday and Monday morning. Our backyard is the scourge of the neighborhood; it's mostly trees and dirt with a few patches of grass. Everyone else has beautiful green grass-we kinda go with the natural wooded look.

The front yard isn't so bad....I fertilized it last fall and it's already fairly green, which means I'll be cutting the grass every 4 days until the summer heat makes it go dormant.

My company is going to be a sponsor of this event. My son and I are going to spend as much money as possible this year on marketing. We don't have a whole lot of cash laying around but we'll make the best of what we have.

Jonesville Church of God does not have any African American members....in this day and time-is this shit really necessary?

The American worker.....worked over and overworked.

I love trees.....here's one that's almost 10,000 years old.

A 550 horsepower SUV. My minivan has 150 horsepower and does just fine.....and it's paid for.

Joke time........

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"


The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."


Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I' ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.


Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.


The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.


"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney.

"This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS officials desk and that you'd be happy about it."


It's not a sailboat......it's a failboat.

"A fat person will go off more quickly than a skinny person"

till later.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Another Saturday night at the grocery store......

If you ever want to see what the rest of humanity looks like....go shopping at Wal-Mart or a grocery store (like mine).

The trick is when to go.

Go during normal business hours and you're going to see mostly "normal" people.

You have to go shopping late, wait until at least 11 PM to head out and you will see the rest of humanity. Normal people shop during normal hours.....If you want to see a large Spanish family order a wedding cake with a Mutant Ninja Turtles theme...you have to go shopping on Saturday nights between 11PM and 3 in the morning.

Last night a had a couple of stoner Goth kids watch me make donuts for 20 minutes. They didn't say a word, they just stared.

You'll get to see entire families dressed in dirty clothing shop for essentials. When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed out of the house with dirty clothes on. Nowadays, it's okay for the whole family to roll around in the dirt before they go out. You might think I'm exaggerating this for comic effect-I'm not.

You get to see a lot of nurses, police officers and shift workers and get to know some of them which is pretty cool.

I like to observe shopping habits....guys will come into the bakery, pick up what they want and leave.....sometimes I will see a guy with flowers for his significant other browse for something sweet. Here's a hint guys-buy the expensive small pastries and don't buy enough for both of you-just her. Don't buy a box of coffee rolls....unless you're a dumbass.

Woman on the other hand will graze the department several times before selecting something to buy...woman are generally smarter shoppers than men....no, lets changes that-woman are always smarter shoppers than men. If men did all the food shopping, the world economy would grind to a halt because most families wouldn't have any disposable income after spending it all at the grocery store.

I hate to pick on fat people but late at night....you see A LOT of morbidly obese people grocery shopping. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against fat people....but if you're overweight-do yourself a favor and buy some clothes that fit nice.

One of my regular customers is probably a good 75 to 100 pounds over what he should be-but he always wears a sport jacket with nice dress slacks and he is impeccably groomed. In other words-he looks nice....he isn't wearing a dirty,torn Dale Earnhardt T-shirt from 15 years ago that's 3 sizes too small with jean shorts that have a hole in the ass.

Another category of people you see are drunk or high people. Ever since I quit smoking, my sense of smell is much better. Now I can smell a drunk person from 20 feet away...and if you're smokin' the weed-dude that stuff reeks. If you get pulled over after smoking up-you are so busted....

Father's Day is coming up...no one will buy me this because they know I'll wear it.

Kitty in a bowl....awwww.

I'm not one for TV commercials...but this one is keeper.

Same with graffiti unless it's well done. Bonus points for the bicycle.

This is kinda dumb if you spend more then 10 seconds thinking about it...especially when you read stories like this one.

This would be kinda hard to explain to your boss.

Lewis Black for President. Not family safe due to a few F-bombs.

We need one of these at our house.

till later.

Friday, April 18, 2008

I'm a junkie......

A Deadliest Catch junkie............just finished watching the first two episodes. Those guys gotta have balls the size of bowling balls to do that stuff every year.

Would I like to try it?

No way in hell.

I'll stick to fixing computers and making donuts.

till later

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

If there was any doubt.........

I am a klutz.

Last night at work, I was filtering our shortening and burnt my arm. I take safety fairly seriously when it concerns handling 375 degree donut shortening.

That includes wearing safety goggles and special gloves that go nearly to my elbow.

Emphasis on nearly.

I slightly burnt my arm right above where the gloves covered. No big deal, just made me say a couple swear words a little louder then I would have liked.

Just finished watching last night's Hell's Kitchen.....I don't think any of the contestants can cook worth a damn.

till later.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How many *is* 900 babillion?

I've only said this about 900 babillion times.....it sucks to get old. While I'm not crippled or anything, my 3 hour leisurely ride Sunday morning got the attention of my knees. My knees are telling me I might want to keep it down to an hour or two next time.

If I knew on Sunday morning how much my knees hurt now on Tuesday morning....I still would have rode the same amount of miles. Unless you fall off and get hit by a car or run into a tree...it's pretty damn hard to have a bad time riding a bicycle.

A friend of mine in similar shape as me called me up Monday and we are gonna try and hook up for some morning rides...the weather is finally turning-I think Spring might be here to stay.

My wife and I took some of the money we recieved for our anniversary and went to Sam's Club to buy the store out. Not really, but we bought some stuff we usually wouldn't buy. Like a huge container of shrimp, some scallops and some other seafood for the freezer. We ate the shrimp as soon as we got home....

I ain't the skinnest guy in the world, but I was amazed at the number of seriously overweight folks riding around Sam's in those electric scooter carts filling their baskets up with more food. I pity the poor sample ladies there- as soon as they put out a tray of food- it's hoovered up in seconds.

I bet that hurt.

This kinda sucks.

Ever hear of Monster Cable? They barked up the wrong tree.

This principal gets my "Asshole of the Day" award. I coulda did hard time for smelling fresh mimeographs back in the day.

till later.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Today REALLY is tax day.....

Since it's almost the 15th as I write this-I better finish my business taxes. My lovely wife does our family taxes and she asked my to look them over- didn't find anything wrong.

She's good.

In more ways than one.....smart, beautiful, a good cook, great personality and she's a pretty good money manager. Thank God one of us is......

Hey, let's kill two birds with one stone......here's an article that discusses religion and politics.

If you've never been to Gettysburg and you live close enough to drive there...you're missing out. I love trees and I hate to see healthy ones cut down (especially on government park property)-but this is an exception.

The Big One is coming.

I have a friend that happens to be Muslim.....he's gonna read the following discussion and find it interesting. Ask a Muslim. Some silliness thrown in for sure, but also some good information. In addition to my friend being Muslim, he's also black, so we have some interesting discussions about discrimination here in America.

I had one of these when I was a kid. I turned out alright.....mostly.

Graffiti from all over the world.

Color photographs from the late 30's and early 40's........extremely cool.

Hilary is changing her spots again.....now she's a gun nut.

Anyone ever fish using M-80's? This is better.

till later......

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sunday ride....

Got a good one in Sunday morning......


Go here full the full res version of the pics. The weather was calling for showers for most of the day, I figured I would get out early to get a few miles in. My favorite weather to ride in.....just a tad chilly. If you get too cold-just pedal a little faster....
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Kids are dumb. Sound harsh? Read this.

"Mission Accomplished."......not really.

Obama: 'I didn't say it as well as I should have'...........yeah, that's sort of an understatement. Mrs. Pants Suit sure didn't waste any time roasting his ass. She's just mad because she's gonna lose.

I know exactly how she feels.

Young@Heart...........pretty cool-here's the movie trailer. I likey.

An Engineer's Guide to Cats.

This one will make you think....

Job ads and what they really mean......

“Competitive Salary”
We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.


“Join our fast-paced company”

We have no time to train you.


“Casual work atmosphere”

We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.


“Some overtime required”

Some every night and some every weekend.


“Duties will vary”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

“Must have an eye for detail”

We have no quality assurance.


“Career-minded”
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).


“Apply in person”
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.

“Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience”

You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.


“Problem-solving skills a must”

You’re walking into perpetual chaos.


“Requires team leadership skills”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.


“Good communication skills”

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


I've had a job or two like that....

Lost Generation......let's hope it turns out like that.....and not like this.

till later.

Friday, April 11, 2008

How to build an apple fritter.......

All ya gotta do is go right here to see all the pictures and catch the captions or just watch the slide show.....



Look good? Alrightly then, I'll expect you all to show up where I work at 1 AM Saturday morning for more lessons.

till later.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Steak!!!!!

My parent and my in-laws took my wife and I out for dinner at a local restaurant last night.

And I had steak.

A large steak

A steak larger than the steering wheel of my van.

We don't often eat out, it's a huge hassle with our different work schedules and honestly- I hate dining out when you are packed in like sardines....think Olive Garden on a Friday night. I rather eat a can of Spaghetti-O's at home and have the piece and quiet.

Having said that.......our dinner was wonderful and the service was excellent. Somehow we ended up talking about blogs and my lovely wife and my mom were discussing mine......my father-in-law said he'd like to take a look at it, so..........hi Dad:-) I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

The Dalai Lama is a cool guy.....unfortunately for him and his people-hell is going to freeze over before we see a free Tibet. Hopefully 43 will stay out of it-I've seen his diplomatic skills at work here in the USA.

Despite the attacks by Clinton, Obama and McCain largely ignored her and dueled with each other over Iraq and the economy. She really needs to give it up and go back to New York.

Yeah, I know some of you get tired of me posting about Iraq.....but this stuff has to come to an end. Seriously.

I wonder if this guy has been torn limb from limb yet? Here's a clip from the Dr. Phil show...warning-it'll probably piss you off.

I'm with Tim.....some folks need to grow a thicker skin.

Beef heads recalled. Beef heads? What the hell do you do with beef heads??? I'm sure one of my readers has the answer-educate me please.

The only awards that count. Seriously, it's a good read. Just remember that free speech isn't a privilege in this country (USA for my foreign readers)......it's a right.

That's not a tornado......this is a tornado. I woulda pooped my pants.

Narcoleptic kitty.

Good column by Dan Savage......take a minute to tell your mom you love her.

5 times in the last 5 months? I'd be worried too.

Senior citizens getting down and dirty at Wal Mart.

Investigation his whereabouts? ....try a bar maybe?

till later.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I won money!!!!!

ATM PAYMENT UPDATE


This is to officially inform you that we have verified your
contract/inheritance file and found out that why you have not received
your payment is because you have not fulfilled the obligations given to
you in respect of your contract/inheritance payment.Secondly we have
been informed that you are still dealing with the none officials in the
bank. Your entire attempt to secure the release of the fund to you. We
wish to advise you that such an illegal act like this has to stop if
you wish to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a
solution to your problem. Right now we have arranged your payment
through our swift card payment center Asia pacific, that is the latest
instruction from BONI YAYI (GCFR) federal republic of Benin.



This card center will send you an atm card, which you will use to
withdraw your money in any atm machine in any part of the world, but
the maximum is one thousand, five hundred United States dollars per
day. So if you like to receive your fund in this, forward the
information below:

1. Full name

2. Full address (p.o box not acceptable)

3. Phone and fax #

4. Your age, sex and current occupation

5. Attach copy of your identification

Contact Person:

DR REV. MIKE LARRY

Director, atm payment department, (OBBR)

Email;obbplc10@yahoo.com.tr
Email:oceanicbankofbeninr@myway.com

The atm card payment center has been mandated to issue out
$850,000.00 as part payment for this fiscal year 2008. Also for your
information, you have to stop any further communication with any other
person(s) or office(s) to avoid any hitches in receiving your payment.

Regards,

Mr.Anthony John

Wow!!! What's everyone think? Seems legit to me.

Back when the internet was a fairly new thing, I had a co-worker that received one of these kind of e-mails and he was gonna send in his contact info-he didn't believe me when I told him it was a scam, I had to find someone else to talk him out of it. He went on to have 2 mobile homes, 2 vehicles and a house repossessed.

Fellow blogger Ed from Oklahoma (Cycledog) sent me this gem......think it will pass? I'd say the chances are pretty good we'll have a renamed sewer plant next January. It couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Sadly, the little girl I mentioned yesterday has died. If there is a hell, I hope her dad goes there for awhile. I just can't imagine someone doing that to a defenseless child. I don't often wish ill will on people, but I hope he gets the living shit beat out of him in prison on a semi-daily schedule.

I think Iraq qualifies for quagmire status. What a mess.

Oldies but goodies.

This is good.

Not Everyone Who Shows Up Is There To Help You.

till later.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Join the army............

No, not that Army..........this Army.

I swear if I ever win the lottery, I'll give Lance a big chunk of the money....sure he's won the Tour de France a bunch of times, but I think in the long run, he'll make more of a mark fighting cancer.....which is a good thing in my book.

I did get a ride in on Monday morning.....it was excellent bike riding weather, cloudy, cool and damp. Doesn't sound like great weather to ride in but when it's in the 50's-you don't sweat and it's fairly easy to regulate how warm or cold you are. I had my Wal-Mart camera with me, but the batteries were dead....so no pictures.

I did a mostly flat loop around my childhood neighborhood....close to 15 miles-slow and steady.

I like to look around when I ride and see the sights. Most of my old stomping grounds looks just like it did 30 years ago.....next time I'll remember to check the batteries before I leave the house.

One of my favorite TV shows is back on next week. Not sure what it is about it, but I never miss an episode.
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Would I like to try crab fishing?

Nope.

I get seasick just taking a bath, so there ain't no way I'd last more than 10 minutes before i started projectile vomiting. While I'd like to make a year's salary in a few weeks.....with my klutziness-I'd come back with less fingers than I went with.

I was watching some of the NASCAR race on Sunday while I was working on my taxes.....it's pretty much down to an even split between race and commercials. I think the best commercial was for one of the big box home improvement stores for riding lawn mowers.

Two dudes in yards smaller than mine advertising the new models available. I don't know about most folks but unless you're a NASCAR dad, have at a 1/2 acre, you're a fat bastard or you're handicapped.....a riding mower is more of a toy then anything else.

My philosophy is buy a 99 dollar Wal-Mart mower....they usually last at least 5 or 6 years and then you put it out in the garbage and buy another one.

Another dumb commercial? Kinoki foot pads. They've found a way to extract money from the soles of your feet.

TV lowers your IQ.


When I see stuff like this....it makes my skin crawl. How the hell can someone do that to a child? You have to take a test before you get a driver's license...sometimes I think you should have to take a test before you're allowed to birth (and raise) children.

Great.....Israel and Iran and playing "Don't give me a reason".....I'm sure that will end well.

On a happier note....how damn cool is this?

This week on April 9th, my lovely wife and I will have been married 25 years. It honestly doesn't even feel close to 25 years but we have a kid in her 2nd year of college and another in high school.....so something happened in the last 25 years. Time sure flies by.

....all I can say is I am a very lucky man.

till later.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Stuff is getting expensive........

I suppose the title of this entry is a big "doh" but the prices for everything food related is skyrocketing and more crap is hitting the fan.

Donuts have increased in price almost a dollar a dozen in a few weeks. I just spent nearly 40 dollars to fill up my van....which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't already over half-way full.

I was wrong about the Clinton's hiding something from the public in delaying posting their tax returns....seems like everything turns out to be A-OK and they have contributed over 10 million bucks to charity. That's to be commended, but still I ain't voting for her....she makes too much stuff up.

A joke...........

WIFE FROM HELL

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."


The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."


As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."


The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."


The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."


And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"


The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"


I love this part....



"Only when he's been drinking."

That was sent to me from one of my clients that's nearly 80 years old. Don't ever think that just because someone's old that they can't have a wicked sense of humor. I have no idea where my client comes up with this stuff, but he cracks me up every time I visit.....I feel bad for taking money from him-I oughta be paying him.

Overheard in Athens......funny.

What exactly is a frenzy and why the hell should anyone care?

I'd rather watch furry little kitties.

till later.

Friday, April 04, 2008

HFCS

Take a walk down the aisles in your local grocery store....HFCS is in damn near everything.

HFCS is not 'natural', says FDA

Bumpersticker Republican

Nice.....all he's missing are some magnetic ribbons

At least I'm not the only guy that thinks he's a turd

HNN Poll: 61% of Historians Rate the Bush Presidency Worst

50 miles

I have a customer that drives 50 miles from Baltimore every Friday for one dozen of these........
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Glazed donuts with white and chocolate icing with whole cherry filling in the middle. Not sure how many calories are in one....but I bet you're looking at least 500 calories....times 12.

Had a customer last night that couldn't figure out how to spell his daughter's name for me to write it on a birthday cake. As funny as that sounds.....this isn't the first time this has happened to me.

After the guy made several phone calls...........
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This is what he came up with. It's a very pretty name, I sure hope it's spelled right.

Anyone see the "UFO Guy" on YouTube? Who said drugs don't screw with your brain.....

till later.....

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Where old donuts go to die...........

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Our company donates almost all of our day old bread, meat, produce etc to various charities in the area. We don't donate donuts because they'd be stale as hell before they got to the intended recipients and also because of the labor involved in packaging them......

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Unfortunately, they get chucked every morning.....breaks my heart.
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Not the most cheerful of topics to discuss on my blog, but this is a very well done site....here's the opening blurb for the site.

This sombre series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study. The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living.

Check it out when you're in the mood.

till later.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

99,000 calories.......

Wanna know what 99,000 calories look like?

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That's about 1/4 of the donuts I make every evening.

Why so many calories?

It might have something to do with this.....

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I use a cube of this every night (partially hydrogenated veg oil) also known as the stuff that clogs up your arteries and kills you.

No worries-one cube only contains 226,980 calories. Yup, that's not a misprint-almost 1/4 of a million calories.

Although I'm fairly well known in my company for my donuts...........I really enjoy making bread. The kind of bread that has a thick crumbly chewy crust that makes a mess all over your kitchen when you hack a piece off the loaf.
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You don't need meat with this 12 grain Ukrainian bread, just a little bit of butter and you are good to go.

Seriously-I could live off of this bread.

Don't get near me with that processed white bread product.

Best April Fools joke this year......people sure are gullible.

Anyone watch Hell's Kitchen last night? Gordan Ramsey sure can be an asshole sometimes....but then again-some of the contestants aren't really professional chefs.

till later.