Tuesday, December 30, 2008

In my professional opinion.......

I know my name on this blog is "donut guy" but believe it or not, I went to school for this stuff and I'm actually a certified master baker.

So.....taking my edumacational background into consideration...this is the nastiest cake I've ever seen.

till later.

License number?

........of the truck that ran me over?

Wow, I spent the last couple of days not really feeling all that spiffy.

I'm on the road to recovery now, but I still sound like my head is full of mashed potatoes.

As usual...their is tons of crappy depressing news out there today.

I'm gonna ignore all of it and post up kids and kitties.

till later.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Must be a slow news day......

Japan teens skipping breakfast have sex younger

Mr Brown Slacks.....

I realize that everyone has a story......I'd love to know some of my customers stories.

For example...

-Why does to guy that comes in every morning always (and I mean always) have on the same green shirt, brown slacks and tan jacket? Doesn't matter if it's 10 degrees below zero or over 90....always the same clothes.

-What perfume does the customer who orders the same donuts every Wednesday morning wear? To me, it smells like a combination of burnt rubber and wet dog.

-Why does Mr DJ Guy (he is always wearing huge headphones) always buy an apple pie and 6 cans of Campbell's tomato soup.....every night?

Why do the tattoo couple (she's 4ft 8in about 200lbs, he's 6ft 6in about 140 lbs both heavily tattooed) shop for a full cart of groceries almost every night of the week? What the hell do they do with all that food......wait, I think I answered my own question, I think she eats it all.

-Why does our janitor drive a new BMW and I drive a 10 year old minivan? All our janitors are private contractors, maybe I'm in the wrong business.

So many questions...so few answers.

Anyways, our daughter is off to Hawaii for a couple of weeks, she's staying on the same island as Obama is vacationing on...hopefully they'll have the power fixed soon.

Anybody going out for some killer after Christmas deals? My son and I are going out later today to spend gift cards we received for presents......my opinion? Gift cards are just about the dumbest idea ever. Nothing says "I don't give a shit" more than gift cards.

Don't know what to get me?

Either ask me or give me cold hard cash and I'll buy what I want and I'll report back to you when I buy something I liked with the money you gave me.

Simple huh?

till later.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

How to tell when you're sick..........

Hint number 1 is that you sleep 14 hours straight and feel worse then you did before you went to sleep.

I have no hint number 2......

Going to work last night wasn't up there really high on my list of priorities...... but if I call in sick that means someone else has to pull an all-nighter and do my job.

People need their donuts.

In other news...our area had a 3.3 earthquake last night. Our son said he felt the house move, I didn't feel a thing at work.

Figures I missed all the excitement.

till later.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas and some misc. ramblings....

Woke up not really feeling 100% on Christmas morn.

I sorta have a minor cold and some back issues .....I figure if you don't pay any attention to what's making you feel like a 200 lb bag of snot..eventually it will go away.

A nice hot shower went a long way to making me feel better for a few hours....I lasted the whole way through dinner at my folks house before returning home to crash for a few hours until it was time to go to work.

One of the neatest things about Christmas morning is how quiet it is. We live about a mile away from a major interstate highway and you get used to the steady thrum of truck traffic. I stepped outside at 5 AM...no noise.

I wish every day was like that.

Stopped at the local convenience store for coffee...I asked the clerks if they drew the short end of the straw to be working on Christmas morning. Turns out they all volunteer to work and those with young families had the chance to be off if they so chose. Not sure what they do if not enough folks volunteer, but the girl at the counter said they were getting triple pay so that helps a little.

What did we all get for Christmas?

My wife and I buy stuff though the year this year was no exception....I got a new bike earlier in the year and my lovely wife had some custom inserts installed in the kitchen cabinets and a new phone.

Our son got a nice pair of sound isolating headphones and an iPod....our daughter got some cash for her trip to Hawaii.

For me, the best present is to have all my family healthy.

My pop had a real close call this year with his bypass surgery and all, but he's doing super good and has lost about 25 pounds since his operation. He's a hardass on the outside but he's a softie on the inside.

I'm glad he (and my mom) are both still around...even if I didn't make it through to whole day, it was nice to be all together for a few hours.

Last night at work was great because our store was still closed so I brought in my noise cancelling headphones and listened to oldies music all night.

Oldies music, you know the stuff from my youth that brings back all the memories of growing up. Since I graduated from high school in 1977....I like a lot of the music from that era.

Some of my favorites.....and some old memories the songs remind me of.

-Cherish by The Association...for some reason this song reminds me of when my mom would take me to Sears for school clothing and if I was good...she'd buy me a roller dog from the Sears food section. There are no better hot dogs then Sears roller dogs.

-Make It With You by Bread....Wow, this song reminds me of dancing with Barb Storez at church summer camp back in 1974...yeah I still remember.

Strawberry Letter 23 by The Brothers Johnson....this song is all about basement parties at my friend John Carters house. Cheap wine and massive hangovers.

Do You Love Me by The Contours....seeing Animal House about a bazillion times. Still in my Top 5 movie list.

You Are So Beautiful sung by Dennis Wilson...I remember going to a Beach Boys concert the year before he drowned...his voice was so shot by that time he could barely get the words out. Kinda sad.

Hello, I Love You by The Doors....I remember sitting neck deep in a pool on the Jersey Shore drinking cocktails with my friend Stosh and I don't remember a whole lot more.

My Best Friend's Girl by the Cars...actually reminds me of the time my best friend started dating my girlfriend behind my back..... trust me, he did me a favor.

Arthur's Theme by Christopher Cross.....reminds me of spur of the moment road trips my buddies and I would take to the Jersey Shore in the middle of winter. I so gotta do that again.

Racing In The Street by Bruce Springsteen....it was all about my friends 1967 GTO with headers, cherry bombs and 3 deuces banging gears while we cruised town. The sound the exhaust made when it reverberated off all the buildings still sticks with me.

Rio by Duran Duran.....mmmm don't read this one Mom-reminds me of swan diving off the 3rd floor balcony of the Rio Motel into the swimming pool. No worries mom, I lived and I was completely sober when I did it.

East Bound and Down by Jerry Reed...I saw Smokey and The Bandit almost as many times as I saw Animal House. All my friends bought Trans Ams...I had a VW Beetle.

American Pie by Don McLean.....being afriad to ask Leslie Billet the the 8th grade dance.

This Is The New S**t by Marilyn Manson....this song was playing on my iPod when I did an awesome 4 foot wheelie drop on my mountain bike. I get off and walk stuff like that now.

Asa by Steely Dan...this is a weird one. Reminds me of when my buddy and I were in the back of his dad's pick up and we eating pizza and horsing around. My friend chucked a slice at me-It missed me and sailed out the back of the truck and hit (sauce side down) the windshield of the following car. I told you it was weird.

Little Miss Magic by Jimmy Buffet.. always reminds me of how much I love my daughter. I'm a Parrothead, so anything Jimmy does is A-OK with me.

Hells Bells by AC/DC...in 1981 a bunch of us went to see Angus and the boys down at the Spectrum in Philly....I was drunk and damn they were LOUD. They shoot off a cannon during this song. Worst hangover ever.

Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie my son and I would sun tan at the local swimming pool and listen to this back when it was still cool to hang out together with our shirts off.

Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys..the first song I heard in my VW's freshly installed stereo. 8 speakers in a Beetle is overkill.

It's Magic by Pilot...reminds me of cruising to Temple U in downtown Philly to meet up with my wife for dates. She was hot 25 years ago and guess what?

She still is.

I could go on and on.

The cold medication is starting to kick in.....

till later.

PS ...I'd love to hear some of the readers old song memories.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Creative Grooming

What the heck is wrong with this woman?

Creative Grooming

Merry Christmas........

Just wanted to say "Merry Christmas" to all my readers out there in blogland....

Since I work retail and this is the busiest season of the year-it's been "eat, sleep, work, repeat" for the past week....I haven't had much time to blog.

Ya'll have a Merry Christmas.....except for the lady that screamed at me at 3 AM last night because I didn't have rye bread done...

I hope Santa shits down your chimney.

till later.

Monday, December 22, 2008

"0" is pretty darn cold...........

We don't often experience temps down near zero very often..this morning it was almost 0 degrees with the wind chill. With that and me coming down with a touch of a cold.....I'm staying inside for the duration.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Ice Pellets....

My lovely wife asked me to pull up the weather forecast for Saturday.........

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ice pellets....kinda depressing, huh?

Have they lost their minds......

Seriously? 18 kids?

Arkansas mom Michelle Duggar gives birth to 18th child

I'm not judging, but wow.....that's a lot of kids.

If I was the dad...all the children would have to wear nametags.

I'd never remember all their names.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I'm not a violent man....

I pretty sure I've answered every dumb question possible in the last 35 years of dealing with the public.

Never underestimate the stupidity of large groups of people. We are getting some bad weather on Friday and of course, everyone is in our store buying everything that isn't bolted down.

Best question of the night....

Some guy asked me where the beer is.

Unfortunately, our state doesn't permit beer sales in supermarkets. It took me a minute to explain this to the customer, the guy thought I was kidding him and started to argue with me.

Sometimes I wish I could get away with giving some folks a small dose of pepper spray.

I think everyone should have to work a retail job for at least one holiday season. Yeah, I get that the holidays can be a stressful time.....but don't take it out on your friendly local donut guy.

Remember...we handle your food-be nice to us.

till later.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

This guy makes my brian hurt.

Bush says sacrificed free-market principles to save economy

Kinda like "We had to destroy the village in order to save it."

Lets hope common sense prevails after January 20th

Ford vs Toyota....

My friend Jim sent me this......

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, Toyota won by a mile.

Ford, discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management investigated and recommended "appropriate action."

Their conclusion: Toyota had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while Ford had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order, Ford hired a consulting company, paying a large amount for a second opinion.

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to use that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to Toyota, the Ford team's management was reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents, and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to "equal the competition," and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.

The next year, Toyota won by two miles.

Humiliated, Ford laid off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddle) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold, and next year's racing team was outscored to India.

Sadly, THE END.

Here's something to think about: Ford has spent the last 30 years moving its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages.

Toyota has spent the last 30 years building more than a dozen plants inside the US . Last quarter's results:

Toyota made 4 billion in profits and Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching their heads and collecting bonuses.


Swear Jar

My friend Hank sent me this.......

YouTube - Swear Jar

Best beer commercial ever.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Douchebags of the day..........

These parents are idiots.

They can be racists if they want to be, but .....why make their kids suffer?

Yeah, I work in a bakery and frequently decorate cakes...would I write that on a cake?

Nope, I'd give them a tube of icing and tell them to write it themselves.

Monday, December 15, 2008

I wonder.............

I wonder how many shoes he's gonna get in the mail.....

Is it January 20th yet?

I'd hate to pose the question..."Can it get any worse?"

I'm sure 43 would find a new way to make Americans look like jackasses.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Since I'm so damn absent minded.....

....and our family has unlimited texting-this is gonna be a great little tool.

Yup, I'm that absent minded.

till later.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom......

Happy Birthday to my mom who happens to be the best mom in the world.

I ran a contest and she won.

Love, your son.

till later.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Wunder Boner.

YouTube - Hilarious Commercial - The Wunder Boner.

Words escape me....

My old man is pretty smart.....

Kinda funny....the older I got-the smarter my old man got.

Sure, he got smarter as he got older but as he got older....I tended to listen to him more.

The more I listened to him....the more sense he made.

My pop can squeeze a dollar until it begs for mercy and after talking to him yesterday-I decided to put off any major purchases for my consulting business until later next year.

His advice was to not to spend any money until we see how things shake out for a few months.....makes sense to me and I think I'll listen to him....like I said-he's pretty damn smart.

The economy is in the dumper and the way it looks-it ain't gonna get better anytime soon. Wow, I can't imagine companies as big as GM and Chysler going bankrupt but if they are still building cars at the quality level of my 9 year old mini-van......then they deserve to go under.

We don't buy many vehicles as we tend to drive them until they are totally wore out......my Plymouth Voyager will be the last Big 3 purchase I make. Americans can build great cars, my wife's last 3 cars have been Subaru's and all three were made right here in the good ole USA.

I think my minivan was built by this guy.

till later.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Dad returns home.....

My dad got out of the hospital this past Tuesday and not a day to soon.....he was pretty much climbing the walls. One thing he learned in the hospital is that the night shift nurses talk about the day shift nurses and vice-versa.

Even if with them all talking about each other....he got great care at both hospitals he was in over the past 2 weeks....he owes his life to the folks at Memorial Hospital and likewise York Hospital. Both places are staffed with some really kind and compassionate staff.

It takes a special person to be a nursing assistant, nurse or doctor and both hospitals are truly blessed with some awesome staff.

Now that my dad has been home for a couple days, he is starting to get caught up on sleep...I am sure he is sore as hell. I can't imagine it's a picnic when they open up your chest cavity and dig around in both you legs for veins to use for the bypass.

He's a tough guy, so I'm sure he'll be up and back to work in 6 weeks. Yeah, he's 72 years old but he still likes his job and hates the thought of laying around... more power to him if that's what he wants to do.

Me? I wanna retire tomorrow........

It's pretty neat, but ......why? Just buy a flute already....who wants to be known as the guy that plays a broccoli?

Christmas lights and lots of them. I hope to get out on my bike some night and check out all the lights in my neighborhood. I love riding at night....it's so quiet out. Of course, I and my bike are lit up like a Christmas tree....I have a bar light, a helmet light, a reflective vest, 2 rear blinkies, a front blinkie and about 10 yards of reflective tape on my bike. I figure that if someone hits me...they were aiming for me.

Boy, the economy sure is in the tank, huh? I've been debating about buying another laptop for my business. The longer I put it off-the cheaper things get. If I buy the laptop I have my eyes on at Sam's.....I don't have to pay for it for a whole year. I like using other peoples money, so I might bite.

My wife and I are lucky enough to have stable jobs with stable companies but lots of folks out there aren't nearly as fortunate......I sure hope things turn around soon. I know what it's like to be "between" jobs and it ain't fun.

161 million dollars? Wow. He sure seems like a stand up guy...if they are willing to pay him that much money-I guess he's worth it.

I love me some Clint Eastwood.....one of my happiest childhood memories was going to see all the Dirty Harry movies with my dad.

My folks didn't have much money when I was growing up, so it probably shot my dads spending money for the week when we went to the movies.

My folks might have been short of money when I was a kid.....but money ain't everything.

till later.

Sunday, December 07, 2008


I sorta feel bad for the autoworkers.....it ain't their fault that most American cars made in the past 25 years are poorly designed and engineered-they just screw them together.

I read that GM is worth about 3 billions dollars. How exactly are they gonna pay back the money they are "borrowing" if they need more than 4 billion dollars just to make it to the end of the year?

Not sure what the answer is....I just make donuts for a living, but I know if I went to the bank and wanted to borrow 900,000 dollars and put my 200,000 dollar house up for collateral...they'd laugh me out of the place. The automakers should use the same accountants the banks use.

My pop should be getting out of the hospital early this week, I ordered him a zipper club t-shirt, he has one heck of a scar down the middle of his chest.

till later

Friday, December 05, 2008

So far.......so good.

After a few days full of ups and downs...my dad is stable and out of the critical care unit. Tentatively, he should be home early next week to begin his 6 to 8 weeks of recovery.

Considering what my pop has been through to past few days....he's in fairly good spirits...he's kinda tired and he really wants to get the heck out of the hospital.

Can't say I blame him.

He hasn't been able to shave in the past week and he's got a little bit of a beard going on....I think he oughta keep it, it makes him look like a bad-ass teddy bear:-)

We went to a class held by the hospital dietitian, very interesting stuff. Most common sense stuff, but it's really surprising how much sodium is packed into most prepared foods.

I'm not being an ass, but take a look around you next time you go out somewhere......most everyone is fat. I'd hate to see how much more overburdened our healthcare system is going to be in twenty years.

Americans need to change the way they eat...being grossly overweight is not socially acceptable.

Till later.

PS-Thanks for all the emails and comments....I really appreciate them:-)

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Emotional rollercoaster.......

When I last saw my dad Saturday afternoon.....things were looking pretty good. His color was back and he was in very good spirits considering what happened to him the day before.

Monday.....not so much. I'm not a doctor, so I'm not even going to begin to describe what tests they did on him, but it was decided that he was going to a larger hospital right now to get what turned out to be a quadruple bypass done. He was in pre-op even before my mom and I arrived at the hospital.

So far as I write this on Tuesday morning....he came through the operation as well as could be expected and is stable and resting in the Cardiac Care Unit of York Hospital.

From what the doctors have told us, he might have possibly suffered several small heart attacks in the past 10 or 15 years (he had a big one when he was 50) so he does have some prior irrecoverable damage.

Whatever, I'm more than happy to have a partially damaged dad considering my choices.....he's one stubborn old Irish guy.

till later