Bike riding donut guy

I'm a paid test driver.......

2011-08-18T07:17:00.003-04:00

Not sure if y'all been following along, but I have been having a ton of small issues with my motor assisted bicycle. The guy I bought my motor from couldn't have been nicer or more professional, he shipped me 2 different motors, both of which turned out to be duds.

After the 2nd motor developed problems, he sent me an experimental motor to try out-he liked my feedback so much......he's sending me another motor and an install kit for another bicycle.

All I have to do is record fuel mileage, try out some various carb jets and try some different oil weights. He also wants my feedback on how the motor performs compared to the first motor he sent me.

He is also sending a bunch of extra parts that affect the final drive ratio of the gearing that the motor provides, I get to try them all and give him feedback on how the different gear ratios make the bike perform.

I'm not his typical customer as most of his clients want to go as fast as possible, I like going at a nice steady pace and only let the motor help when I need it to. That's one of the reasons I think he selected me to help him.....I ain't gonna blow his motor up in a week :-)

All I can say is wow. About a week from now, a box of parts worth 600 bucks is gonna show up that I didn't pay a dime for and I get to keep.

Things are good.

till later.

Here's the reason........

2011-08-13T00:30:00.002-04:00

Here's the reason all family members get charged when I work on their computers.

The only exceptions......my mom and my father-in-law.

I don't wanna be too harsh, but I didn't break your damn computer......you did.

After I fix it and it's working perfectly.......if it screws up again 2 weeks later-99% of the time...it's not my fault.

It's like having an electrician install a new power outlet and 6 months down the road the lamp that it's plugged into blows a light bulb....do you blame the electrician?

Some people shouldn't have computers.

till later.

Okay.............

2011-08-12T19:40:00.002-04:00

.............so I'm a 52 year old white guy.

For some reason, I am really digging this song and video.

Go figure.

till later.

Back in business........

2011-08-07T18:38:00.002-04:00

Well, it took almost all of my Sunday off.....but 150 dollars worth of new parts later-my motor assisted bicycle is now working again. I'll throw some pictures up next time I break out my camera so any of you that are curious can check it out.

It's now geared differently, so instead of going 40 mph....it now has a top speed just shy of 30 mph but it climbs hills way, way better. Since it hurts like a MF'er to put very much force into pedaling...having the extra assist will come in handy.

All that works for me, I was at the doctor last week and since March-I've lost 50 pounds, my blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol numbers have all returned to normal. I have another appointment in 60 days and I want to lose another 15 pounds to get to my goal weight of 199 pounds.

In less then one week...our daughter will have her Masters degree and also be a fully licensed Physician Assistant. That is good news, but even better news is that she already has a job with a fantastic starting salary and outstanding benefits.

I can't put into words how happy I am for her- in addition to all that.....she also has a new boyfriend. I haven't met him yet, but I think he's a keeper. I've never seen her smile so much in pictures....as long as she's happy-that's all that matters to me.

The only bad news we've had all week is that our neighbor pointed out to us that one of our large trees in our backyard is dead. The last time our tree surgeon was out, he told us that if one of the two large trees we have growing next to each other dies.....it's a good idea to cut both of them down as trees like to grow in pairs.

We are not sure if we are going to cut both down.....the one tree that is still alive is over 200 years old and provides a ton of shade............I kinda have a soft spot for trees.

till later.

Hey....its only money.

2011-08-03T16:53:00.001-04:00

Looks like it's gonna be a 150 dollar fix for my bicycle. On the bright side.......I now have an extra engine and tons of spare parts in case something else breaks.

I can hardly believe it's already August, I just had my bi-monthly doctor vist (I am on some very strong pain killers, the doc wants to keep a close eye on everything) and so far.....I've lost a total of 50 pounds since March 1rst of this year.

My blood pressure is 100 over 60, my sugar was 140 and I forget what my cholesterol numbers where exactly, but they were smack dab in the middle of "normal", there is 2 or 3 different numbers- I forgot which one was what all that matters is that my doc was happy and pretty impressed I lost a shitload of weight.

I do feel tons better, my knees still bother the living shit out of me on some days. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days....overall- I can't complain too much.

My wife and I got some really good news, our daughter got a fantastic job offer to be a P.A. in the Allentown/Bethlehem area in internal medicine. She has a fantastic starting salary and a really good vacation/benfits package. She worked her ass off for the past 5 years of school, she went full-time straight through the summers to get her Masters in 5 years.....she deserves everything she has coming her way.

My lovely wife and her are taking a really cool road trip after graduation, they are driving all over the upper midwest and Canada.

After she gets through the next 2 weeks of completely insane coursework and testing....it's all good.

Our son is banking a ton of money so far for school, he is having a really good time in his "gap year", he figures he will be able to save 12 to 14 grand this year. That isn't a ton of money, but it will be a good head start when he starts college in the fall of 2012.

Next post, I hope I will have my bike all put back together again and on the road spinning away......

till later.

Not again...........

2011-08-02T00:04:00.002-04:00

I got 20 miles in on my bike before I had a catastrophic bearing failure in the bracket that supports the motor. I could be out 9 dollars for a new bearing or 150 dollars for a new bracket.

People have worse problems then me- so in the grand scheme of things-no biggie...it's only money.

Speaking about money......can't this government find a more efficient way to spend money that doesn't exist?

till later.

First time...........

2011-07-29T22:13:00.001-04:00

Today was the first time I ever headed out for a ride when the heat index was over 100. Wasn't a very long ride (about 90 minutes) and I was very happy I didn't have any mechanical issues.

till later.

I am in charge...........

2011-07-28T16:38:00.004-04:00

My boss is taking a well deserved vacation this week and I am in charge. It's been awhile since I've actually had the chance to run a bakery.

I was stuck on 3rd shift for 18 years, it was just me and the donuts.

So far, I have managed to not burn down the bakery or screw anything up....I still have 3 more days yet, so anything could happen. I kinda doubt anything bad will happen, everyone in our bakery pretty much knows their shit......I'd have to be a moron to have dumb things happen.

Been having tons of issues with my bike, first the clutch broke a spring and locked up. I didn't stress too much as this point as I have a backup motor.

Unfortunately, my back up motor wouldn't start. After that it was a comedy of errors between me and the vendor I bought my equipment from. After everything got figured out, the guy who built my motor is sending me a free motor for me to beta test.

Yay for me....somehow I started with one motor and after it's all said and done- I will have 3 brand new motors. I'm not exactly sure how that happened but I ain't complaining.

If you are new to my blog.....I am not talking about a motorcycle-I have a motor assisted bicycle.

Unfortunately, I have fairly bad arthritis in both knees and the motor isn't really a luxury, if I want to ride my bike....it's a necessity for me to bolt on a motor if I want to ride.

To be honest....I'd prefer to just be able to ride with a motor buzzing away behind me as I really like the peace and quiet of a good bike ride, but sometimes...ya gotta do what ya gotta do :-)

till later.

Nice to be back...........

2011-07-24T17:51:00.004-04:00

After 2 weeks off the bike due to mechanical problems......it was nice to get out for a ride Sunday afternoon.

I'm not sure how the *real* cyclists cope with this weather.

All I was doing was making the pedals go around so it improves my range of motion and I was sweating like a stuck pig.

I can't really put any force into my pedal stroke because it hurts like a MF'er.

My lovely wife says it's good for my arthritis to get as much exercise as possible flexing both knees through a full range of motion and cycling is the perfect thing as I can use them and not have to put any pressure on them......the 4.4 horsepower motor I have mounted on the rear tire does all the work.

I know the hot weather makes peoples tempers flare, so I have been sticking to wide roads with large shoulders and mostly empty back roads.....I don't want to end up on this map.

I did about 50 miles today, rode over to Lancaster and back.....sounds like a pretty healthy sized ride, but you have to take into account that my average speed is probably close to 25 mph for most of the ride. The bike is probably capable of 40 mph, but 25 mph is quite fast enough thankyouverymuch.

I did have one small problem that I think is heat related, the centrifugal clutch on my bike got really hot on the last climb and got stuck in the fully engaged position...which meant that every time I came to a stop the motor would die......solution?

I didn't stop very much.

till later.

New motor........

2011-07-23T18:17:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I know most folks with bicycles don't usually have a 4.4 horsepower motor mounted to the rear wheel.......

....but I'm different.

With this bad boy installed-it will hit 30 mph on flat ground-no sweat.

I used to be able to ride at 20-22 mph on flat ground with just human power-it's just nice knowing I have my little helper mounted over the rear tire ready to help out when my knee pain gets too bad.

Put the damn fork down.

2011-07-21T16:11:00.003-04:00

Seems like we are getting hammered with a nasty heat wave here on the East coast.

While it's warm working in a bakery....you have to consider the fact that the bakery I work in is located in an air conditioned store......things could be much worse.

I've noticed that since I've lost weight.....I don't seem to mind it nearly as much as I used to. Some of our customers however.....lets just say that some of them wouldn't die if they skipped a meal or four.

We had a customer this week that was a very large framed woman, okay, lets be blunt and call it like it is-she was morbidly obese, probably in the area of 450-500 pounds. She was heavy enough that her ass was hanging off of both sides of the seat of her motorized mobility cart.

I'd say more ass was hanging off the side then was actually on the seat-you get the point, she was a big woman.

The part that gets my goat-she called me over the the front of the donut case so I could pick her out 2 dozen donuts.

2 motherfucking dozen donuts?

By the looks of all the other junk food she had and the half-dozen 6 packs of regular soda hanging off the sides of her cart-she isn't really watching what she eats.

When people like this claim that they are disabled and should be able to claim government assistance....that pisses me off.

Put the damn fork down.

till later.

So....where the hell was I for the last 8 months?

2011-07-20T16:36:00.004-04:00

Let's back up to Thanksgiving week of last year.

After my dad passed away unexpectedly 3 days before Thanksgiving, I mostly lost the desire to write this anything on this blog or pretty much anything else for that matter....so that explains that.

In February of this year, a day shift job (asst bakery manager) opened up at another store and I applied for it and lo and behold- 18 years of night shift came to a close. I chose to work night shift so there was always a parent home in the morning for our kids while they went to school and since our son was a senior at the time- I thought it was a good time to have a normal life again.

With my dad's passing, I was able to use my parent's 2nd car to commute back and forth to work...so everything worked out ducky.

After so many years of working 6 nights a week and never really having a full day off ever....moving to first shift and being able to have an entire day off from sunup to sundown is like having a mini vacation every week.

I work at a smaller store and while it has had it's challenges, overall- I'm glad I made the move. There is a lot of work stuff I can't go into here on this blog, all I can say is that I am working towards getting my own dept to manage....the sooner I make that move-the better for me and my mental health.

One of the benefits of having a normal schedule is that I have lost a shitload of weight, as I write this-I have lost a total of 46 pounds and I need to lose another 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 199 pounds.

Next time-who knows what I will blather on about.....I used to touch on quite a bit of politics on my blog, to be honest- I have lost hope of any thing good ever coming out of Washington, so I probably won't be discussing that subject much....it just pisses me off too much.

Maybe I'll write about how senior citizens and fat people that ride around in fat carts piss me off....who knows?

till later.

Gots me a new motor........

2011-07-19T15:31:00.005-04:00

As many of you may know (or not) I used to ride my bikes quite a bit before I developed some fairly serious arthritis in both knees.

Here is a pic of my current ride.....notice anything unusual? Yup, my bike has a motor. Since I took this pic, the original motor I had on the bike was ruined by the 10% ethanol gasoline that is now sold.

Solution?

Buy another motor.....and use this stuff.

Problem was that the motor I bought lasted about 2 weeks before one of the head studs pulled out and it ceased running. Since the place I bought the motor from has very good customer service- they are shipping me a new improved version of what I previously bought and they are throwing in a new high performance carb.

From my past experience, this means I will be able to cruise along at 25 mph all day long with enough power in reserve to get up some of the steep hills we have around here. I carry enough fuel with me to go about 120 miles without stopping.

So, at some point in the next week or so, I'll have my bike back up and running and hopefully blogging and taking some pictures of where I travel. Having the motor on my bike gives me back my ability to get out and smell the flowers....so if you see me out there putting along and not pedaling....I'm not lazy- it just hurts.

I'm back........

2011-07-19T15:24:00.003-04:00

Okay.....so I took a few months off from blogging. Quite frankly, I was burnt out, I pretty much lost interest last year after my father's passing in November.

That and the fact that I have mostly lost the abilility to ride a bike due to some fairly serious knee pain....I just sorta stopped writing.

I am gonna give this another shot and we'll see where it ends up.

I'm an artist...........

2010-12-21T07:42:00.003-05:00

Do I make donuts for a living?

Nope.....I make art.

till later.

Sold......

2010-12-10T05:18:00.002-05:00

I sold some of my dad's old camera equipment to a fellow bike blogger and friend Ed, who writes the Cycledog blog out of Oklahoma.

Much like myself, he and his family are on a tight budget.....I told him he can pay me whenever he has some extra funds laying around. A month, 2 months 4 months....whenever, I truly don't care.

Sometimes it ain't about the money, I'm more happy that I found a good home with a friend for my pop's equipment and Ed will get lots of use out of it.

Also, I have to say that I'll miss my Aunt Betty, she has been staying with my mom for the past two weeks.

It almost goes without saying it, but I love her just as much as I love my own mom. She's dealing with the loss of her own son (my cousin David) who recently passed away.....Aunt Betty is a rock and we're gonna miss her.

till later.

Selling a camera..........

2010-12-06T12:22:00.003-05:00

I know a couple of the folks that read my blog are also photographers.......my dad was also into photography and we are selling some of his equipment as we have no use for it.

Selling a Nikon N6006 with a 35mm to 70mm Nikon lens and also a Nikon EM with a 50mm lens...also includes a padded carrying case that holds both cameras.

The N6006 is in brand new condition and the EM is in good condition. I've been on eBay and the prices for both camera are all over the place.

Not looking to make a killing here, I'd rather sell it to someone I know for a reasonable offer. If you're interested, make me an offer (you'll have to pay for shipping).

You can contact me here on my blog or email me at george.mcnallyatgmail.com

Family......

2010-11-30T06:26:00.002-05:00

I'm a lucky guy.

Most folks either just get along or barely tolerate their in-laws.

I love my in-laws as much as my own parents.

Just thought I'd share:-)

till later.

What I'm thankful for.............

2010-11-25T18:47:00.004-05:00

Let's put this right out there first thing.....the past couple of days have been very difficult for myself, my mom and my entire family. I'd say the only thing that compares to it is when my beloved Aunt Helen passed away several years ago.

So most folks wouldn't be in a very thankful mood.

Me?

Honestly, I am extremely thankful....let me list a few reasons.

-I'm thankful my father passed in a matter of moments...he didn't suffer and he died at home with my mom right by his side.

-I'm thankful that we live less then a mile away from my parents house, I was able to be at the hospital to say my final goodbyes and our pastor was also there within minutes to guide us in a final prayer and to provide us some much needed strength.

-I'm thankful for the fact that my father had previously decided to be an organ donor. The person from the donor agency I spoke to on the afternoon of my fathers passing was fairly certain that his corneas would be able to be harvested. If you're not an organ donor- step up to the plate the next time you get your license renewed and check the organ donor box.

-I'm thankful for my Aunt Betty and my cousin Gail and her husband.....they were able to bring my aunt (my mom's sister) to the house from New Jersey in a matter of hours. Like I've mentioned before-my Aunt Betty is truly a gift from God.

-I am thankful for our family friend Chris Lehman, my mom considers her as part of the family and she was at my mom's side within minutes of hearing about my fathers passing. She is also a very special person-thank you so much for being there for my mom.

-I'm thankful for the ability to not dwell on bad things that have already happened.....I can't change the past but I can have a say on the future. I miss my pop terribly and my mom misses him even more but we have lots of living to do in the future and I'm ready to get to it.

-I'm thankful for memories. Every time I think of my dad....I find myself remembering something we did together and it makes me laugh. Sure, I'm sad...but my old man had a pretty good sense of humor and it would piss him off if he thought we were sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. After his second heart attack and especially the past few months-he's had some tremendous pain due to his spinal cord collapsing......I don't think I ever heard him complain-he was one tough Irishman. I'm having a ring made with "One Tough Irishman" inscribed on it.....once I put it on-it ain't never coming off.

-I am speaking for my mom here a little bit....but we are thankful for our wonderful family. I couldn't imagine going through this without my wife and kids. If I didn't have my wife to be my rock....man, I don't even want to go there. I can only imagine how my mom feels right now as my dad was her rock.

-I am thankful for a very understanding boss. Rose (my boss) and I have been friends since we were kids and she lost her father during Thanksgiving a number of years ago, so she knows exactly what we are going through.....she has my back and I have hers.....couldn't ask for a better boss-she's good people.

-I'm thankful for all his friends that I've talked to the past two days.....kinda funny, my dad set up an appointment for me at a local service station to pick up some tires for my car on Wednesday- I shared the news of my father's passing with the guys working there (they were friends) and for 15 minutes the 6 or 7 guys at the garage were telling me how many friends he has and what a good guy he was. He sold tires for 50 years in York County to hundreds of service stations and tire wholesalers....he knew a lot of people.

-Finally, I'm thankful for all my friends that have emailed, sent texts and called the last two days. You are all wonderful and I thank you for your kind thoughts. This blog has been good therapy as I enjoy writing out my thoughts...... I know I ain't the next James Joyce, so thanks for bearing with me.

I could go on and on about how thankful I am.....

.....but I think you get the point:-)

till later.

Thank you............

2010-11-24T21:18:00.002-05:00

Thanks everyone for your kind wishes.

We had a tough day today getting some of the arrangements taken care of. I'll post more details Friday evening after we talk to our pastor but at this point- it looks like Sunday December 5th we will be having a celebration of life service-time to be determined.

I can share this, as per my fathers request-there will be no viewing or a traditional funeral. After his usable organs and corneas have been harvested, he will be cremated and sometime in the future, we will be traveling to Ireland to spread his ashes.

Just have to say thank you to my Aunt Betty who is staying over for a few weeks to help my mom get through this difficult time.

Everyone should have an Aunt Betty...she is without a doubt the toughest, wisest, strongest person I know and there is no way my mom could get through this difficult time without her. Aunt Betty is a rock and I love her as much as I love my own mom.

Having said that, my wife (who my mom considers as a daughter) and our son Daniel have been wonderful these past two days. Not sure how or why God decided I deserve such a wonderful woman be to be my wife, but I couldn't ask for a smarter, wiser, stronger beautiful woman to share my life with.

Our son has been right next his grandmother for the past 24 hours...he's 17 but he's been a man the last couple days. I guess my wife and I can take some credit for how wonderful and caring he is, but at the end of the day- he's taken it on his own to provide my mom with an arm to lean on. I am very proud of my son and sometimes life deals us some tough lessons on the way to manhood, he's proven himself to be up to the challenge of becoming a man.

Even in death.....I couldn't ask for a better family.

till later.

Rest in peace dad........

2010-11-23T18:13:00.008-05:00

I wasn't planning on writing a eulogy for my dad this week.....but my pop died at home unexpectedly on the morning of November 23rd.

While he wasn't in the best of health, we thought he was gonna stick around for a few years, but I suppose God had other plans for him.

He was a lot of things to a lot of people, he proudly served in the US Navy for 6 years, he was a wonderful husband to my mom, he was a good father to me, a great grandfather, he loved being involved with church, he was an active member of the local Lions Club, he loved animals, anything Disney and most importantly........when I was a kid-he helped me deliver my Sunday paper route when it was cold and rainy.

I almost think he enjoyed having me wake him up 5AM on rainy Sundays to help me deliver my route....we'd deliver the papers and then go to the donut shop, order coffee and donuts and shoot the breeze for an hour.

In recent years, we would meet at a local restaurant on Saturday mornings and do much the same.

When I was growing up, my folks didn't have a lot of money, but they always had money for books, I passed my love of reading down to our children and for that- I have my dad to thank.

Out of all his accomplishments, the thing he was most proud of was his grandkids ...Katie and Daniel. My dad struggled in school when he was a kid, and he loved the fact that both of his grandchildren are excellent students....our daughter is finishing up her Masters next year and our son is in his senior year of high school with plans to attend college next fall.

Will we miss my dad?

Oh yeah, he is leaving a huge hole in all our hearts...he wasn't much for public displays of affection....you might even say he came off as a tough guy sometimes. Inside however- he was a softie, and we all knew that underneath that tough exterior- if you were his friend, you had a friend for life-he had your back.

My dad lived life on his terms and lived and died exactly the way he wanted to die, he wasn't afraid of death, only afraid of a lingering death....thankfully the Lord took him in a matter of moments. He was 73 when he died....and well, I'm not sure how anyone could pack more into 73 years then he did.

If he was still here to tell you, he'd say he ticked off just about everything on his bucket list with the exception of riding on a Harley and seeing his grandkids graduate from college. That's something that he's gonna have to do from Heaven..at least he'll have good seats.

Getting a little chilly out.......

2010-11-22T07:00:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I probably was out for one of the last rides of the year on my bike/moped before I need to dress like an Eskimo. Since I have no cartilage in either knee, arthritis and no ACL in one knee.....I gotta keep them warm or else I literally can't walk. I'm thinking that neophrene knee braces are a start plus all the usual bike clothing.

If you're new here....I'm sure ya'll have noticed that my bike has a motor on it.

I'm not lazy, just can't pedal more then a few minutes without debilitating knee pain. As I'm not quite ready to stop cycling....the motor on the back gives me a little bit of an assist. On flat ground, it will go 30 mph......ain't no way I'm going to be going 30 mph this winter- I figure that if it's 40 degrees out and I go 30 mph....I'll probably freeze to death in about 15 minutes.

Yesterday it was 50 degrees and I was out in jeans and a sweatshirt....I lasted about 30 minutes before I started to feel my knees lock up....it sucks getting old.

Here's the part of the blog where I shoot my mouth off.............

I normally don't fly, I've only ever been in an airplane 2 times and a helicopter once-so I'm not a guy that flies very much. Been reading about how the TSA has been instructed to frisk people before they hop on a plane.....all I can say is it has to suck to fly.

My next door neighbor is a pilot for a large airline....seeing what he has gone through in the past 10 years since 9/11.....all I can say is that pilots are probably underpaid for what they have to do. It just ain't hopping into a plane and twisting a few dials, too be honest, I can't think of a more stressful way to make a living.

Having said that.....my neighbor couldn't be a nicer guy.

We are heading into the holidays and since I work retail...it can be a stressful time to work in a grocery store like I do. For me.....it ain't no biggie- if I get a rude customer, I turn the tables on them and make sure I act super-nice back to them.

It's really hard for a customer who's acting like an asshole to keep acting like an asshole if the person on the other side of the counter (me) is unfailingly polite. Most of the time, folks chill out and calm down....but about 1% of people get more pissed when you're super-polite to them.

Those are my favorite customers because I like to see how far I can out-polite them before they have a meltdown.

I'm very happy that I've never seen this young man perform. Hell, I've never even heard him speak....and I'm okay with that.

till later.

One update every 2 months..........

2010-11-20T05:44:00.004-05:00

Kinda spend most of my time on Facebook nowadays....sorry bout the lack of updates. I've been working 6 nights a week and on computers in the daytime...something has to give and unfortunately....it's this blog that has taken the brunt of it.

I'll leave you with this email my friend Hank sent me......

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1.Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

till later.

Anger management........

2010-09-26T06:06:00.000-04:00

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right fucking number!' And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, 'You're an asshole!' And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled, 'NO!' And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' And hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd., in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said, 'Hello'

I said, 'You're an asshole!' (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'asshole, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd., in Fairfax , a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called asshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 Oak Tree Blvd, in Fairfax, to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

A joke that's right up my alley........

2010-08-31T20:50:00.002-04:00

After a late night of partying, a guy invites his friends back to his new apartment.

While he is giving them a tour, one of his friends notices a huge gong and hammer near the wall.

"What's up with the gong?", he asks.

"Oh that's not a gong, it is a talking clock."

His friends voice skepticism, "Dude, that's not a talking clock, it's obviously a friggin' gong."

The guy replies, "No, I swear, you hit it with that hammer as hard as you can and it tells you the time. Go ahead, give it a try."

His friend shrugs his shoulders, grabs the hammer, rears back, and strikes it with a loud: "GOOOOOOOOOOONG!"

After a few seconds they hear a voice from the other side of the wall, "Hey asshole! IT'S THREE-THIRTY IN THE F*****G MORNING!"

I love old people.............

2010-08-29T14:58:00.002-04:00

I'm working with one of my senior citizen clients......I needed some information about their hard drive, older folks keep all their records. I had the info I needed in about 15 seconds. If you're under the age of 60....I bet you don't have all the paperwork for the computer you bought 6 years ago.

The only issue my older clients have (and I don't blame them) is that they get upset when the computer they paid well over a thousand dollars for 8 or 10 years ago is completely obsolete. The good news is that for considerably less than 1000 bucks- I can get them a system that is way, way faster than what they have and if they want to spend more then 5 or 6 hundred bucks...I can get a killer system for 1000 bucks or so.

I'm setting up a laptop for a client.......I had a budget of 1000 dollars- bought and configured a Dell Studio 15 inch. Got a mid level i5 processor, a 1 gig video card , 4 gigs of system RAM plus a few other upgrades....can't beat Dell if you know a few coupon codes and pick your components carefully. It'll be quite awhile until I upgrade my laptop-but the more I work with Dell laptops....the more I like them.

I finally worked up the courage to step on the scale........I had to double check it- I've gained less then 10 pounds since my knee surgery...couldn't believe I wasn't fatter. Right before my surgery, I had managed to lose almost 30 pounds, so I have to lose 10 pounds to get back to where I was before surgery and another 25 pounds to get back down to 199. It's been awhile since I've been below 200, so I figure that will be a good goal for now.

I don't think I'll be able to expense this.....but my consulting company bought a front loader washing machine. Our old one was getting ready to shit the bed and I have a year to pay for it....so it's all good and now my lovely wife has to do less loads (she doesn't let me help).

I don't spend as much time on this blog as I used to......I do post stupid and useless links on Facebook with some regularity....so go there if you want to waste your time.

till later.

Bikes....bikes......bikes....

2010-08-13T10:39:00.002-04:00

Got my bike/moped with a motor to ride outside and I gots my mountain bike with skinny tires mounted to my trainer to ride inside.

The doc said I can pretty much ride as much as I want.

That's what I plan to do.....rain or shine.

till later.

Big Government.

2010-08-10T08:43:00.004-04:00

Makes me proud to be a murican.

Masterchef...........

2010-08-03T22:01:00.002-04:00

Just finished watching the 2nd episode of Masterchef America.....I gotta say- I'm not that impressed with most of the people they picked to be on the show.

Having been in the food service business for the past 35 years- I don't think most of those folks realize how hard it is to cook professionally.....do I think I could do better? Maybe...maybe not, but watching the show last night- I'm getting the impression that some of the contestants have no idea what they are getting into, quite a few of them had that "deer in the headlights" look.

If you work professionally in food service- the hours suck, it's usually God-awful hot, you're on your feet for a minimum of 10 hours a night....and here's a dirty little secret- most of the time it's a slog. You have to make the same things night in and night out and it has to be exactly the same as the night before and it has to be perfect. You screw up one time and it doesn't matter if the other 99% of what you did on your shift is perfect...that 1% of screwups can and will define your career.

Does a stay-at-home mom or a construction worked have the creativity, food knowledge and discipline to create new dishes each week? Not sure, but I'm betting some of these folks are gonna be in the weeds real quick.

I'm not really sure why people choose food service as a career.....I think it helps if you are a little left of center-most good cooks, bakers and chefs aren't 100% normal.

Why do I do it?

I enjoy creating things and I also get to teach people how to bake. It's always fun when I get to see the light bulb go on over someones head when they "get" something and it's really neat to see someone create something that didn't know they were capable of.

Anyways... it will be interesting to see who does the best in the series. It's too early to pick a favorite but it will be interesting to watch the cooks perform when they are on unfamiliar ground and out of their comfort zone.

till later.

My ass hurts...........

2010-08-03T04:43:00.003-04:00

Rode my bike about 45 miles yesterday with my good friend Hank. I got the okay from my knee surgeon to pretty much ride as much as I want.....even if my knee gets slightly sore as he said it's great for my range of motion.

Currently, my range of motion sucks, I'm having a difficult time climbing or descending stairs as my knee isn't completely healed yet. It was starting to alarm me, but my doc assured me that it's gonna be a couple more months until all the cutting and moving of ligaments is completely healed up and until then- it's gonna hurt.

There ain't no way any of this would be possible if I didn't have a small motor on the back of my bicycle helping out from time to time. Yesterday, I pedaled pretty hard for the first hour and a half....the last hour- not so much as my knee was starting to hurt.

Life is good.

Chili.

2010-07-19T04:13:00.002-04:00

My wife hates chili.

She hates the way it smells and the way it tastes.

Yesterday......she made me a huge pot of it the eat for meals this week.

If that isn't love......I don't know what is.

till later.

There's your problem..........

2010-07-16T08:36:00.002-04:00

Anytime your religion has a "sex crimes prosecutor"......that should be a tip-off that there are a few problems.

Ordaining women priests is pretty low on the priority scale when you have grown men buggering little boys.

till later.

First ride....

2010-07-12T11:18:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I really love working 3rd shift and some days I really hate it.......trying to time when I sleep and when I'm awake for a "day" off....is critical to get the most out of my limited time off. I sorta screwed it up yesterday and I was up when I shoulda been sleeping.

Our daughter was home for the weekend and I think I saw her for about an hour when my parents came over for dinner Sunday and I was half-asleep most of the rest of the day.

On the bright side.....I got out for my first bike ride since my knee surgery in early June. Sure, I have a motor assisting me (or else I wouldn't be able to ride) but nonetheless.....it was great being outside and feeling the fresh air.

I'm glad I spent the money for a top of the line motor assist kit for my bike....I've been reading on several message boards about how the cheap Chinese moped kits blow up after a couple hundred miles. My motor was made by Mitsubishi and it runs flat out pretty much until it runs out of fuel.

Works for me.

till later.

Betty White is awesome......

2010-07-09T06:47:00.001-04:00

I want this.

That is all.

I'm getting too old for this shit............

2010-07-06T23:42:00.002-04:00

Well, been back to work for a few nights.

While I really enjoy my job....I think I need new knees.

I can't see doing this for the next 16 years on the set I currently own.

till later.

3 weeks..........

2010-06-29T18:58:00.005-04:00

I get to go back to work Thursday night after 3 weeks off due to knee surgery....I've been bored so this is a long post.

Most folks would enjoy having 3 weeks off......I was pretty much ready to go back to work the day after the operation. It wasn't really much fun, had to stay off my knee most of the time and keep it elevated.

The doc said the typical recovery period for what I had done is at least 4 weeks...I told him the day after the operation I was going to do my P.T. every day so I could get back to work earlier- I'm pretty pleased with myself that I recovered enough in 3 weeks instead of four or five.

I'm also a candidate for a knee replacement in the next 5 or 10 years so, I really gotta take care of what's left of my knee (I'm totally missing my ACL) so if make it that far, good stuff...about the only thing I can't do as deep knee bends....fortunately.....I don't have to do too many of those when I make donuts.

Can't be too upset about the situation.....the pain is manageable without any strong painkillers, lots of folks out there have way worse problems then a bum knee.

I sent this video to my next door neighbor...he owns a really sweet Porsche Cayman and he's a pretty good driver like the guy in the video.....me? I'm perfectly satisfied with my 210 horsepower Taurus and sticking to the speed limit (most of the time).

It amazes me that an 8 year old Taurus with 160,000 miles on it is tighter and more quiet than my old minivan that had less then 70,00 miles. The inside of my brand new used car is like a cave because it's all dark grey leather and it's got a few minor scrapes and bad paint spots, but I clay barred it and gave it a good wax it looks pretty good considering.

I was always a "Ford guy" before I bought my Plymouth Caravan back in 99......I think I'll stick to either Fords or Subaru's from now on.

Saw this video on YouTube from some guy overflying the oil slick in the Gulf.....an old neighbor used to have a saying ......."It is what it is"- not one helluva lot anybody can do about what's already happened and unfortunately- it's going to get worse. I can only imagine what fresh hell a powerful hurricane would do right now.....nothing you can do and you know bad things could happen at any time.

I saw this video on YouTube as well. I'm all over the place politically, but to be honest.... I think it would be cool to learn how to shoot guns like that. Personally- I don't own any guns and don't really plan on buying any, but some folks forget that 240 years ago....our forefathers used guns to obtain our freedom from Britain.

I'm not a "gun nut", but I think that unless you've been convicted of a felony-you ought to be able to wear an unconcealed handgun whenever and wherever you please as long as you take the time and trouble to get certified on it's safe and responsible operation.

I'm a big fan of Top Gear-this is hilarious....sue me, but I bit torrent the show every week

I guess Amazon has chosen to ignore my emails concerning getting a partial refund or credit for the Kindle I bought 6 weeks before they dropped the price by 70 bucks....sure, I'll still buy stuff from Amazon, but they are gonna be the choice of last resort from now on.

The way you take care of a customer?....I bought some PDF editing software from Foxit nearly 3 months ago...they recently made what I bought 12 weeks ago a free software download- they e-mailed me and offered me a free download of their deluxe PDF software which costs the same as the basic PDF editor I bought back in April. Nice move guys.... from now on-I'll put their software on all my clients PC's in place of Adobe PDF reader.

I love when I get to help senior citizens with their computer problems.....I helped a client with a bunch of malware and when I took her PC back to her house, I set up a laptop she had previously purchased to network with her other PC and printer.

She though it was magic that I could sit in her kitchen with her laptop and send something to her printer in the other room without the laptop being connected to anything. She asked me how I remember all that stuff...beats the heck out of me- it's kinda like learning how to ride a bike- once you know how....it's second nature.

I'm also buying a PC for another client this week.....if anybody is looking for a nice bang-for-the-buck system *this is a nice one* you'll just have to uninstall all the HP crapware....on some new computers...I'll uninstall 15 to 20 useless programs that do a really good job of stealing CPU cycles. My record is 26 programs running right after boot-up on XP with a printer installed.

Another good deal from Newegg? Noise canceling headphones....we've had these for awhile and to be honest -I can't tell the difference between these and the Bose cans that sell for 300 bucks. Newegg is about the only place I trust to buy electronic stuff online....their customer service is uptight and outtasight.

This chopper is way, way off the hook. Nothing like my chopper whatsoever. It doesn't even look rideable. My neighbor has a chopper but his is way cooler and he built it himself....not many guys that have choppers can say that. Oh yeah....mines for sale if you want to buy it.

This is one of my favorite websites.....I work in a retail bakery-this happens from time to time. Worst thing I've ever done? Several years ago, I dropped a customer's cake on the floor right in front of them as I was boxing it up....the customer was very understanding, but boy was I ever embarrassed.

I'm a knife junkie..... I saw this at Harbor Freight and had to buy one. I took it home with the intention of using it at work ( I like a very sharp knife to dock Italian bread right before it goes in the oven), but my wife liked it so much...I gotta go back and buy another one. Most of the stuff at H.F. is useless junk, if I get a couple months out of the knife....I'll be happy.

Like me...this guy also wants to tear his eyes out if he hears anything more about the iPhone 4....Here's the link to the YouTube video BUT there are lots of F-bombs and other profanity---definitely not family friendly so don't click on it if you are easily offended...click here instead.

What do I do when I buy stuff from Apple? I let the first-adopters be the guinea pigs.....I'd be pissed if I bought an iPhone and had that many problems with it.

This is pretty cool.....to be honest- I was raised to do the same exact thing I'm not sure how someone could keep the money and sleep at night.

This just sounds flat out nasty. I'm not that big a drinker in the first place, salmon flavored vodka just doesn't sound appealing whatsoever....

The 3rd Depression......I consider myself very fortunate to have a good job with great benefits. I have a trade where I can go just about anywhere in the country and get a job if I really had to. Not everyone is as lucky as I am....it would be pretty tough to outsource fresh baked goods to China.

Don't get me wrong....I ain't the skinniest person in the world....but this is some scary stuff. I guess I don't help the problem all that much as a make a few hundred thousand calories worth of donuts every night.....sorry about that.

till later.

iPhone 4........

2010-06-28T16:50:00.001-04:00

So help me God...if I come across one more iPhone 4 article online-I'm gonna pull my eyeballs out with a rusty pair of pliers.

That is all.

till later.

Comcast is really dropping the ball.

2010-06-27T11:50:00.003-04:00

I'm not the largest computer consulting company here in York.....in fact, I probably have one of the smaller customer bases out there.

That's just the way I like it- when one of my clients call me- I can usually get back to them with a solution to their issue or fix their computer within 24 hours.

Having said that-one of my clients is so damn mad at Comcast right now, they are considering legal action against them. Missed appointments, poor connectivity, poor customer service over the phone.....you name it- Comcast must be reading out of the "How to Piss off Customers and Lose Clients" handbook.

My client works from home and absolutely, positively needs internet connectivity to do her job.

No internet-she's dead in the water and is making "0" dollars. My only suggestion is to purchase a USB aircard from T-Mobile.......for some reason all my ideas cost money but that's about all I could come up with.

Comcast- you need to get on the ball and start rotating, or else you'll end up like GM in 20 years.....put out crappy service and trust me- someone will eat your lunch, that's how business works here in America.

till later.

Off the deep end.....

2010-06-25T18:49:00.003-04:00

I really need to get back to work- been watching too many episodes of Cupcake Wars

I almost want to open up my own cupcake bakery........

Almost.

Problem number one...finding people willing to pay 3.99 a piece for a gourmet cupcake.

Since I live in the Snack Food Capitol of the World....I should be able to find a few food junkies out there.

Problem number two......owning your own bakery is a lot of work, at least 60+ hours a week and probably closer to 80 hours.

I think I'll stick to making donuts.

till later.

Yay.

2010-06-24T19:43:00.002-04:00

If all the planets align and everything goes to plan.....I'll be back to work next Thursday night.

I'm pretty darn happy about that.

Having off for a few weeks was nice, but 90% of the time so far, I've been in some sort of discomfort....I had my knee drained again this morning- that ain't on my Top Ten lists of things to do in the future.

Been watching way too much TV during my time off, saw this show called "Cupcake Wars"....gotta be the dumbest show ever.

Maybe I should open up a shop that fixes computers and sells cupcakes and call it "Computers and Cupcakes"

Okay.....maybe not.

till later.

Pissed............

2010-06-22T17:40:00.003-04:00

So far....Amazon has refused to credit my account for 70 bucks, since I bought a Kindle 6 weeks ago for 259 bucks and they are now 189 dollars.

I started a Facebook group...not that's gonna do anything-but it makes me feel better.

till later.

Puzzled.....

2010-06-21T19:09:00.006-04:00

I think our cat likes doing ( or maybe undoing) puzzles.

Meow.

Are you serious..........

2010-06-21T16:49:00.002-04:00

Not that the Kindle I bought 6 weeks ago isn't worth the money (or else I wouldn't have bought it) but just today.....they dropped the price by 70 bucks.

Pissed doesn't begin to describe how I'm feeling at the moment.

I wrote a polite but very curt e-mail to the wonderful folks at Amazon asking for a 70 dollar credit.

I'm wondering how one of the top rated companies for customer satisfaction is going to take care of this for me.

I'm betting I get screwed out of 70 bucks.

I'll keep y'all posted.

till later.

Make no mistake.........

2010-06-20T16:03:00.003-04:00

I am not a web designer by any stretch of the imagination, but I've been wanting to re-do my consulting website for a quite some time.

Here it is.

Yeah, I know it's pretty simple and everything is on one page but that's partly by design. I want to be able to print out the entire site and hand it out to potential clients.

Trust me, I'm not quitting my full-time job ever.....I like making donuts and I work for a great company with great benefits- the computer consulting helps pay for college stuff.

My favorite quote............

2010-06-20T13:07:00.004-04:00

From Mark Twain........

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."

I'm pretty sure that when I was 14 years old, I was ten feet tall, bulletproof and invisible.....thank God my old man was around to pull my head out of my ass when I needed it.

Happy Fathers Day dad......you're the best.

Love, your son.

till later

Extreme boredom has set in.............

2010-06-19T11:23:00.003-04:00

Wow.....if this is what retirement is gonna be like- I better get some hobbies. In all seriousness, these past 2 weeks haven't really been all that much fun.

If I were to have a life of leisure like I'm currently having...I think I'd be okay as long as I could ride my bike and at least go to the mall for a walk. No-go at least for the next week, if I am going to be on my feet for more then 5 minutes, the doc said I have to use crutches.

That pretty much leaves me with my computers and my Kindle. I'm sure glad I like to read or I'm not sure what I'd do. A friend of mine suggested I read Stieg Larson.....it's a done deal-the files are on my computer in less then a minute and I I have to do is drag them into the Kindle....I love modern technology.

Stopped by work yesterday to pick up my paycheck...talked to the store manager- he said to take my time and not rush my recovery. He knows me well enough that he knows I don't play games...the second I am released to go back to work-I will be on the phone with my manager to have have put me back on the schedule.

I gotta say, he's probably one of the tougher managers I've ever worked for....but I think he's also extremely fair. I really respect that- He isn't there to win a popularity contest...he's there to run a business, make money, keep the customers happy and take care off several hundred associates.

Like him or not (I happen to like him)....you have to respect what he's accomplished in his career. He treats his career and what he does very seriously and God help you if you don't feel the same way.

It's my favorite management philosophy ....lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.

till later.

Not fun...........

2010-06-18T06:46:00.003-04:00

Went to the doc for a follow up visit yesterday..........I had to get some excess fluid drained out of my knee.

Gotta say, that was fairly unpleasant-I probably scared the patients in the adjoining cubicles with the loud grunting I did when he stuck that needle in the side of my knee.

I also found out that I am completely missing my ACL in my left knee. Missing as in not there. I'm not sure what happened to it....I know I had a lot of "offs" in my mountain biking career-maybe I landed bad and toughed out the pain for a few weeks.

I did go to work with broken fingers, ribs and a clavicle at different times- so I know I have a fairly high pain tolerance.

Whatever, it makes me a candidate for knee replacement sooner then later. The doc said he'd like me to go until I'm 60, but if I needed it done earlier- the knees they have now would probably outlive me.

I'll take a couple years to build my sick pay back up to full and probably get it done. I'd rather get it done earlier then later so there are less age related complications.

At any rate- I am bored out of my mind at this point, but from what the doc said yesterday- I'll be off for another week at least.

My buddy Hank sent me a link to this story here where we live in York PA. That pretty much sucks the whole way around. I was under the impression that as long as the motor on your bicycle is 49cc's or less in PA....all you need is a valid drivers license.

Since my bike looks nothing like a moped- It's basically a mountain bike with a small motor mounted next to my rear luggage rack......I plan to fly under the radar for the time being. I'm not even sure my bike would be considered a moped, but I'm not going to ask a bunch of questions either.

Like the guy in the article- I'm not out to change the world or make a lot of waves....I just want a little fresh air once and awhile.

till later.

Cake success or failure......

2010-06-15T23:54:00.005-04:00

My lovely wife made a cake for St Joes Carnival to sell at thier bake sale/cakewalk....she didn't like it, but my son and I did.....so we bought it from her for 30 bucks.

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

I'd say it was a success....a win for St Joe's (they get the 30 bucks) and my son and I get delicious cake.

till later.

I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier....

2010-06-15T06:07:00.002-04:00

For the last 2 years, I've been paying AT&T 70 bucks a month for a wireless access USB stick for my laptop. I originally bought it for my computer consulting business and while the times I needed it where few and far between.....when I needed it- I needed it....so I happily paid for it month after month.

After shopping around- I found a far better deal with T-Mobile for the same thing and since our daughter needs internet at her apartment for the next 15 months while she is in grad school- she get's to use it for the time being.

Instead of me buying another wireless card from T-Mobile and paying for 2 of them...I found this, for the times I need to access the internet at a client's house-it's perfect. Not sure if AT&T will shut my account down if they find out because they want 30 extra bucks a month to tether my phone to my computer.....I don't plan on telling them and I don't think I'll be using the Shark Modem thing all that often-AT&T gets enough of our money every month.

One of my best and most favorite clients spends his summer in Nantucket every summer at a private club managing every thing pool related- they have a swim team and from what it sounds like-it's a lot of work but also a lot of fun.

He also owns several business's that he still runs from his house with the help of his administrative assistant......I spent an hour on the phone with him trying to resolve several issues.....I guess I'm not that good at phone support-I think we fixed one out of the three problems he was having.

If my leg wasn't absolutely killing me.....I'd have my son drive me up there to get his stuff fixed up- I hate it when one of my clients isn't happy.

The knee?......doing pretty good.

The leg? ....sore as hell.

I can tell the doctor has made the knee itself much better, my only problem is that every muscle from mid calve to mid thigh is still sore.

I guess I'm just impatient and want to get back to work....but I'm not going to rush things and take a chance of screwing it up, so I'm trying really hard not to climb the walls with boredom.

I'm really glad I bought a Kindle a few weeks ago- been reading tons of stuff on it. It wasn't the cheapest thing I've ever spent money on...but so far- I couldn't be happier with it. Imagine 30 years ago if you would have said that there is a device that can get and display most any popular book in less then a minute? I love technology.

Seriously....do we need to turn everything into a political game? Here's an idea- let's concentrate on turning off the oil first then take a few months to play the blame game. Politicians make me sick.

This is gonna being interesting.....pretty much how WW III is going to start. Yeah, sure their are politics involved (when isn't politics involved?) but there is also 1.5 million people that probably don't give a shit about the politics... they just want food in their kids bellies.

Just finished watching a New Zealand TV show called "Neighbors At War"....if my neighbors behind me are reading this....really sorry I called the cops on your son. The little guy (I think he's about 12) was in his backyard shooting off a paintball gun.....I called over and asked him what he was doing, he said he was shooting his paintball gun.

I told him that's illegal to do in our township.....he went inside for a minute....came back out (I assumed he asked his parents about it) and continued firing away. That's when I called the cops and I assume they went over and told mom and dad that junior has to put the paintball gun away.

Sorry if that makes me the asshole, but I live in a pretty nice area and I figure that if I wanna listen to loud country music, barking dogs, paintball guns and have neighbors with Trans-Ams with no wheels....

...I'd move to a rundown trailer park.

till later.

Black and blue.......

2010-06-14T04:59:00.003-04:00

My knee is turning all kinds of different colors now....black, blue, purple. In a couple of days, it should be in full bloom- I'll take a picture and post it. I know our daughter loves looking at that kind of stuff.

The good news is that I have relatively little actual knee pain...but every muscle from mid-calve to mid-thigh feels like it was worked over with a baseball bat.

More good news is that I am getting out of the house with calls for computer help....our son gets to drive me and lug all my stuff around, but hey- it's part his company too and once we are done helping our daughter through graduate school...he gets all the profits for the consulting work, so I don't feel bad at all for making him work a little.

My father-in-law bought one of his grand kids a laptop for high school graduation and we'll be setting that up today. He gave me a fairly nice budget, so I was able to get a decent laptop, a printer, ink, a mouse, a thumb drive and a laptop cooler.

If you buy a laptop, buy a laptop cooler to go along with it-heat is the enemy of laptops and the one I have in the link is hands down the best cooler for the money out there.

Obama is going to address the nation Tuesday night concerning the oil spill.....I'm one of those nutjob Libertarians that likes less government regulation so I'm really conflicted on this one. I'd like to see the President somehow make BP pay for anything and everything disaster related up to the point where it bankrupts the company.

Sure, it would suck for anyone owning BP stock, but that's the risk you take when you buy stock in a company...ask GM shareholders.

till later.

Joke........

2010-06-12T11:37:00.000-04:00

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Way better today............

2010-06-11T17:57:00.002-04:00

My knee is still swollen like a MFer and it's already started turning purple.....but I can walk short distances without crutches- so that's an improvement.

Bored as hell sitting around- I've been off work 3 nights and I'm ready to go back. That's not gonna happen for at least a week, so I think I'll enjoy being lazy for a few days.

About the only thing on my to-do list is reorganize my computer work area.....I've kinda let it get cluttered and disorganized, as soon as I get my latest client's laptop and printer done- I'll be tearing into it.

It is so weird being around the house in the evening- I normally don't watch much TV, I saw some of "So You Think You Can Dance" last night.....wow, those kids are talented. I was going to buy tickets to their roadshow last year but didn't because good seats were going for about 80 bucks a pop.

This year, I think I'm going to spring for them...my wife and I don't get to go out much together and hey...you only live once.

till later.

No effing wonder it hurts so much...........

2010-06-10T11:01:00.002-04:00

Just got back from the docs.....I had a torn ligament, he reshaped some bone ends, cleaned out dead tissue and repositioned another ligament so my kneecap floats better.

I seriously think he had all the tools he owns inside my knee all at the same time.

Time to hit the pain meds........

till later.

Bad joke time....

2010-06-10T06:09:00.006-04:00

Gary's casket.

Ouch.

2010-06-10T04:04:00.004-04:00

I think I came through surgery with flying colors.....I had the same surgery done to my other knee last year-so I pretty much knew what to expect.

I don't remember it hurting this much though......I'm not one for taking any pain meds if I don't have to- I figure that masking the pain isn't the best thing to do as it would be easy to injure my knee further if it doesn't hurt.

Having said that- I've been sucking down Oxycodin like it's going out of style....it hurts like a MFer. At this point I've been up most of the night, I have a doctor appt at 830....I'm pretty sure I'll be sleeping most of the day afterwards.

Still not used to our son having his drivers license...kinda weird when he goes out for a movie with his best friend Sophie and nobody has to pick him up or take him.

He is doing a great job driving so far-he's getting smoother the more he drives. I want to get him out to an empty parking lot on a rainy day so he can play around with how the anti-lock brakes engage. He older sister drives like I do, she isn't reckless-but if she can go 10 mph over the speed limit safely.....she will.

Our son, on the other hand is under strict instructions to not exceed the speed limit under any circumstances. I think he pretty much sticks to that because he knows that if he screws up just once (speeding ticket, at fault accident, etc) he loses his driving privileges. Not many 16 year olds get the use of a car with as few restrictions as we are giving our son.

Honestly, I don't think I have anything to worry about....he's a good kid.

till later.

Tomorrow is the big day......

2010-06-08T05:35:00.002-04:00

Yup....it's time for the doctor to go digging around in my knee.

Yay.

If I could do the operation and go back to work the next day.....I'd do it in a heartbeat because it's gonna be a MFer to not sit around and eat. The doctor says i should be off for 2 to 3 weeks.....I'm aiming for 2 weeks max.

Fortunately I'll have my son with me to scold me into not eating bad stuff.

He's basically my 2nd conscience...several months ago when I started my quest to lose weight- I told him to point out in no uncertain terms when I was being an idiot concerning my diet.

So far, it's worked like a charm- last week we were in Sam's Club and I wanted to buy some snack food.....Daniel told me to buy fruit instead- what a kid.

One of my most important clients had his main laptop shit the bed last week right before he left for his summer job in Nantucket.....couldn't have been worse timing. To make matters worse- his back up laptop is giving him problems *needless to say* I'll be up until midnight if that's what it takes to get his laptop up and running later today.

Good clients are hard to come by and even harder to keep.....it always surprises me how other business owners treat their clients. I read a lot of blogs from other computer techs and some of the bad service stories are pretty hard to believe.

Half the battle to please clients is just showing up on time and following through on what you promise the client. I've found that if I don't know how to fix something- I'll admit that to the client right up front.....honesty is the best policy.

It's really been weird for the last couple of days....instead of driving my son to school-he's driving himself. Both of us are really digging our brand new used car- it's soooo much quieter then our old minivan.

No rattles and the air conditioning is ice cold....so far so good- The burgundy color is starting to grow on me, when our son graduates next year and goes to college, we are gonna have to duke it out to see who gets the car:-)

till later.

Meep meep...............

2010-06-07T05:49:00.002-04:00

My daughter will laugh...but one of my favorite TV shows is back for season 4.

This is a "go see"

2010-06-04T08:38:00.003-04:00

Saw this trailer on one of my favorite fellow bike bloggers. Ray rides about as much as I do and he pretty much lives the kind of life I'd like to....minus all the dog hair.

I love stuff like that.....shit blows up, people and things do weird shit, yeah...my kind of movie.

On the driving front- our son completed his first 24 hours as a licensed driver without mowing down any crowds of pedestrians....I'll take that as a win.

Oh.....my knee hurts like a MF'er in case you were wondering.

I'm the only person in my department that's currently on the injured roster but I still got 16 hours scheduled overtime on a holiday week.

I'm not complaining..(I absolutely adore money).... I sorta wished I wouldn't have volunteered to work so many damn hours this week.

But then again......I gotta go back to the previous sentence- I really like having a few extra bucks to spend on my kids....so it's worth the pain.

Our daughters college don't pay for itself and now that our 16 year old son is driving.....man, I really don't wanna see that first insurance bill.

Last night at work.....a customer wanted me to decorate them a cake with an Hawaiian luau theme. I had to explain to them that while I know how to decorate cakes.....I just didn't have the time to do something like that on such short notice and too be honest- I'm not that good of a cake decorator....it woulda turned out like a Hawaiian themed tsunami cake.

One other thing......what the hell happened to people at least giving a slight shit about how they look and smell when they go out in public?

I may be expecting too much at 2 in the morning but if I can smell your body odor from behind our sales counter and you are a good 6 feet away from me and you look like you just shit your pants....somebody needs to hit the shower more then once a week.

till later.

Be afraid......

2010-06-03T07:51:00.005-04:00

Yup....that's our son on his maiden solo voyage in our brand new used car.

Worried?

Nope.

He had some very good behind the wheel training at school and yes....he's only 16, but he's a very smooth and careful driver. Hopefully, the smooth and careful part will help him get the behind the wheel experience he needs without causing anyone bodily harm.

My driving standard was that he got to go solo when he went through the Mt Rose/ Rt83 interchange in the morning without my stabbing an imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side and making me feel 100% comfortable.

Mission accomplished and while he still makes tiny mistakes once and awhile-he immediately recognizes what he did wrong and fixes it. If I hear about or see him do something stupid- his driving privileges will be revoked until he's 18.... no questions asked-no second chances.

Driving 4000 pounds of steel around formed into the shape of a car is serious stuff and I want him to treat it as such.

The brand new used car part?

I pretty much got the shits of driving around the Plymouth Grand Voyager and traded it in. The air conditioning didn't work, only one window out of four worked, the engine made random squealing noises, the transaxle shifted funny from time to time and it made more and more rattles and weird noises the longer I drove it.

The new car?

A 2002 Ford Taurus previously owned by Verizon....I had access to the complete maintenance records so the 160,000 miles on it didn't scare me a bit. The car was well taken care of and it's amazingly tight with no rattles whatsoever. Red ain't my favorite color and I really don't like leather interiors but for 2400 bucks...if it lasts 2 or 3 years- I'll be ahead of the game.

Buying used cars is a gamble but having all the records available with the car already having a bunch of stuff replaced...hopefully the odds will be stacked in my favor.

Knee surgery next Wednesday.....I am so ready to get this done and over with.

till later.

Vacation was quick

2010-05-20T18:58:00.003-04:00

Another one of those blog posts without any rhyme or reason............

Took a very relaxing week off last week.....moved our daughter into her new apartment with 2 of her friends for the next 15 months.

Nice place and the owner has a awesome pizza place right around the corner.

She doesn't have a scholarship for the last 15 months....grad school is expensive, so if any of you folks out there that live in York need your computer fixed....give me a call:-)

Not sure what the racket is with college textbooks, but I just bought her 4 books out of my computer money that cost over 200 bucks and that was cheap.

Not a problem for me.....I'll just keep pumping all my computer profits in my kids education because it's gonna be so totally worth it to see them with college degrees. I'm guessing that in 10 years you're gonna need at least a four year degree to just get an interview at most decent companies.

I gots me an appointment next week with the knee surgeon......I'm looking forward to getting my knee done and also not looking forward to getting it done. If the guy does the same great job he did on my other knee he did last year-it'll be worth the black blue and purple color most of my leg is gonna be for a month.

I have my temporary replacement just about trained, one of the guys that stocks the freezer department thought it would be cool to learn another trade and as it turns out-he's pretty damn awesome at making donuts.....and he's a cool guy to work with as well so that's a double bonus.

Looking for a decent used car with air conditioning is a major pain in the ass. I've got 3500 bucks to play with, I considered fixing up my van but to fix the air conditioning and the leaking transaxle-I'm looking at over 4 grand which doesn't make sense as the thing is only worth 3 grand at best. been looking on Craigslist-but all the good cars last less then a day-whatever, I have some time yet...I hope:-)

One nice thing about having a motor on my bike is that I can ride it pretty damn far away from our house....last week I did get one good trip in, rode up to Goldsboro PA and checked out Three Mile Island. I forgot my camera and also forgot that my Blackberry takes pictures...sometimes I'm so forgetful-it scares the crap out of me. Heck, as I sit here and type this- I just remembered I have to fix one of our toilets...it's been broken for 3 weeks. Whoops.

I always make sure one of my buddies or relatives knows where I'm at and has access to a truck or minivan in case I break down on my bike because there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna be able to pedal a 55 pound bicycle 30 miles back to my house if I have major problem. Flat tires, broken chain, broken spokes aren't biggies but if my motor shits the bed while I'm that far out- I'm screwed.

Till later.

Damn knees......

2010-05-13T17:26:00.002-04:00

I went for a little ridey ride today......Holy crap-I thought being off my feet this week I would have helped a little bit.

Nope.

Both knees hurt like a MF'er.

First time this week I had to hit the pain meds.

Pisses me off....can't even ride a bike with a motor that does 75% of the work.

Damn 90 year old knees.

till later.

Best joke you'll hear today......

2010-05-13T13:06:00.002-04:00

On their way to getting married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered. 'Are we stuck together forever?'

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

'Great!' says the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

'What's wrong?' ask the frightened couple.

'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'

...yeah, I'm sure my sister-in-law (she's a lawyer) and the rest of the Catholic side of my family (all my in laws) just fing love jokes like this...

till later.

I love me some Kindle........

2010-05-11T06:44:00.005-04:00

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog...so here goes.

Ever since I started to read when I was a young pup.......it's one of my favorite activities. My wife and I have passed this on to both our kids.

When I was a kid and I didn't know something-my pop would say "Look it up" and I'd hit the library and borrow a bazillion books to read.

When the Kindle came out I immediately wanted one but held off, because let's face it- 300 bucks is a big spend for an electronic doo-dad.

Since I sold my Cross-Check for a nice chunk of change..I figured it was time to pull the trigger and spend a few bucks on a Kindle.

When I was a kid, if you woulda told me that I could have a device that would put a book in my hot little hands in less then two minutes...I probably would have thought you were crazy.

I can buy stuff on the Kindle or download PDF's and it's readin' time! I mean...how damn cool izzat?

In other news....the air conditioning on my van has finally shit the bed.

Ain't nothing like driving around in a heated beer can in the middle of summer with only one operating window...needless to say- we'll be putting a ton a miles of my wife's car- I spend enough time at work sweating like a pig-it's gonna be my "go to work" car and our son will get to use it to go back and forth to work this summer- what teenager needs air conditioning anyways?

The radio still works...what else does he need?

If anyone has a lead on a good used cheap car (with air conditioning).....lemme know. Nothing fancy-we ain't gots lots of money- it's expensive helping two kids get through college.

Been fixing lots of computers lately.....I think the rise of social media (places like Facebook) have made hackers jobs much easier. Send someone a link to a page that looks just like Facebook and ask them to confirm their info for some reason and you're in. From there, it's relatively easy to social engineer unsuspecting or less then sharp computer users.

For example, earlier this month I had a client bring me their computer because it was acting "funny" and was really slow. I found tons of malware on it but the one file I found that made me call them immediately was a banking trojan.

Not sure how that will resolve itself- they are going to keep a very close eye on all their financial stuff and I suggested they contact their bank as well....needless to say- at that point I didn't even screw around with trying to fix their install of XP- I wiped the drive and started from scratch. They weren't sure how they got the infection, but their anti-virus was expired so that might have been part of it. Sure, it was a little inconvenient having to reinstall all their stuff but it's better to be safe then sorry.

I'm taking a week of vacation...our daughter is moving from her college dorm to an apartment this week with some of her fellow students for the final 15 months of grad school. I'm really not sure how she does it....all we can do is slip her some money once and awhile and help her with rent.

She has worked her ass off ever since she's been a kid, I'm extremely proud of her and a little more then a year from now-she'll be the first person in our family with a Master's degree. Way cool as far as I'm concerned. Our son still hasn't quite figured out what he wants to do in college yet...he's got plenty of time (he's in 11th grade) but one thing's for sure-I'm just as proud of him as well...we have way cool kids.

I have a doctors appt in a couple of weeks...unfortunately the SynVisc injections didn't do diddly for my knee arthritis....looks like it's gonna be knee surgery time again-this time on my other knee-not looking forward to it whatsoever. Last time I was black, blue and purple from my shin to my hip. Whatever, it's gotta get done and that's that-lots of folks have way worse problems they deal with on a day to day basis.

Been riding my converted bicycle/moped as much as time permits...damn, that thing is fun! Yeah, it's a total luxury spending several hundred bucks on a kit to convert a bike to a moped- but it was that or not be able to ride a bike at all-it's great to b able to get out once and awhile and get some fresh air. It doesn't do much on the exercise front, I've lost 30 pounds but I still want to lose another 30 so I can say I weigh less then 200 pounds.....plus I'll get to live longer to spend our kid's inheritance :-)

till later.

Goodbye Cross-Check.....

2010-04-28T07:23:00.005-04:00

I sold my Cross-Check to a really nice guy from Baltimore last week....he's gonna use it everyday to commute. That makes me happy, I'm glad the bike is going to get daily use instead of sitting in my garage gathering dust.

I converted some of the proceeds into an Amazon Kindle.....been looking at it on the Amazon page for the last 6 months and since it now does PDF files- I decided to pull the trigger and buy one.

Since everyone in the family loves to read.....I'm sure we'll put it to good use.

Looks like I'll be heading to surgery sometime in early June....the doc will be opening up my left knee and having a look see. If he does the same good job as he did on the right knee last year....it's gonna help a whole lot.

I coulda had surgery in May but I had to put it off as we will be witnessing a world first in mid May....a McNally getting a college degree! Our daughter gets her Bachelor of Science degree and pretty much heads right off to grad school to get her Masters and be a P.A. in about 15 months.

To say I'm proud would be an extreme understatement....

till later.

Surly Cross Check....price reduced!!!

2010-04-20T07:47:00.001-04:00

Still selling my Cross Check-price reduced to 450 bucks....pictures here .

Includes everything you see-bag, blinkie lite, computer, Planet Bike fenders plus 2 brand new Panaracer Paselas *and* a set of 45mm knobbies with 75% tread. The bike has mostly Sora with a new bottom bracket, front chainrings and a new chain. I had new brake and shifter cables put on it last spring as well.

I'd like to see my bike go to a good home...first 450 dollars *cash* (I don't like checks, sorry) gets it out of my garage and back on the road and I'll be able to buy an Amazon Kindle:-)

E mail me at george.mcnally@gmail.com or call 717 495 7477.

If 450 bucks doesn't do the trick here- it's going on Craigslist- I'm pretty sure it will sell in a day or two at that price.

TV.....

2010-04-10T05:59:00.003-04:00

I don't watch much traditional TV.....but i download a metric buttload of stuff to watch on my laptop. I watch a few American TV shows, but the BBC has tons of great stuff. The Brits actually treat their television viewers like they have a half a brain.

Yeah, Bit Torrent might be a tiny bit shady (you can download all kinds of pirated stuff)-but I figure downloading a few TV shows here and there ain't gonna kill anybody.

My favorite places to get stuff?

Here and here. I buy upload credits at both sites which allow me to download pretty much whatever I want without having to worry about uploading the corresponding amount of bandwidth.

Some good shows to watch?

Do a search for these shows....

The Restoration Man- BBC show that highlights the restoration of old building and landmarks in Britain.

Top Gear- 3 British guys screw around with cars.

Master Chef- A serious cooking competition for amateur chefs.

Cruise Ship Diaries- Life aboard an Italian cruise ship.

Selling Houses- An Australian real estate show.

Anyways....tons of great TV shows to watch-ya just gotta know where to look.

till later.

Next time...show up when you're supposed to....

2010-04-06T11:25:00.003-04:00

Just got back from taking our son to an appointment.

While I was in the waiting room, 3 people showed up late for appointments and were told they would need to re-schedule.

All 3 of them flipped out and one that was 20 minutes late started bawling...it didn't work-they all left pissed.

Betcha next time they show up when they are supposed to.

till later.

Random observations.....

2010-04-04T06:39:00.006-04:00

.....just a few random observations I've had in the past few weeks.

Riding a bicycle with a motor is fun.....hell, I can't wipe the smile off my face whenever I go for a ride. It's been awhile since I've been able to go more then a couple miles from the house without worrying about not making it back due to knee pain.

Some folks can't help being jerks no matter what.

I really hate working 6 nights a week......but I really like the extra money.

Some folks can't help being nice no matter what.

I really enjoy making donuts for a living...just enjoy in moderation-there are already enough fat people walking around.

So far....losing 30+ pounds hasn't been as hard as I thought...just have to have the proper mindset and not eat really stupid stuff....especially right before I go to bed....that's the only part that's easier said then done.

The people that bought the new Apple iPad this past weekend are gonna be pissed in 6 months when a better version comes out....you just know Apple is leaving stuff out on purpose just to add it to the next upgrade.

Computers rarely infect themselves with viruses, spyware, adware and malware. As much as I hate to say it-if your computer is screwed up....it's usually your fault.

The BBC makes some good TV programs...or programmes if you're British.

One more thing...if anyone has 110,000 dollars laying around they don't need-please buy me one of these.

till later.

This pisses me off..............

2010-04-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

This will probably be the only thing Bill O'Reilly and I ever agree on.

Like Bill.....I also donated money to this guys legal defense fund-if you read this and have at least one ounce of compassion for this brave father-pony up a few bucks.

Seriously-10 bucks ain't gonna hurt....skip a coffee or two.

No father should have to bury their own son and especially under circumstances like this guy had to endure.

I like free speech as much as the next guy, but in my opinion-what the Westboro Baptist Church is doing at the funerals of US service men and woman should be made illegal.

Free speech? In this case, I don't think what these folks are doing at funeral is free speech.

Am I wrong?

I don't really care.

Donate some money.

till later.

I love me some Jamie Oliver.........

2010-03-27T06:03:00.003-04:00

I've been a fan of Jamie Oliver for a long time......the guy is a great chef but more importantly- the guy is a great communicator and is passionate about healthy food.

I just watched his new show on ABC.

Making donuts for a living sort makes me feel like a crack dealer...but I don't hold a gun to any of my customers heads forcing them to buy donuts.

Ain't no way you can pretend donuts are good for you, so if you buy my stuff-eat it in moderation.

Not sure how well he is gonna go over in West By God Virginia.....but I can tell you that West Virginia isn't the only place in the USA that has loads of overweight people that have no idea what's in their food.

By no means am I a food chemist, but I've been in the food industry for 35 years in one form or another and I can tell you that if you read the label on the side of your favorite frozen food and you don't know or understand what some of the ingredients are or what they do......look them up on Google-you might be surprised what some of those unpronounceable chemicals actually are and what they do.

One of the companies I have worked for in the past would add a chemical to their donut dough just to make it easier to process it through their machinery....most food manufacturers don't have your best interest at heart.

Yeah, I'm just some dumbass that makes donuts for a living, but I see most of my customers....and there ain't many skinny donut enthusiasts.

till later.

This is disgusting.......

2010-03-27T05:47:00.002-04:00

More kid touchers......looks like the corruption goes all the way to the top.

I'm not surprised.

This just ain't right.

I can barely climb a set of stairs........

2010-03-23T09:39:00.002-04:00

.......but I can ride my bike again dammit.

I added a motor.

After watching my bikes gather dust last year....I decided to add a little assist to my hybrid last winter.

I did my research and decided to buy a top of the line system and motor- I wanted something that lasted for a long time- unfortunately...quality parts cost quality money.

So far, I added an additional gas tank so I can ride about 150 miles without stopping for fuel, I also added a larger muffler and sound absorbing exhaust tubing, a twist throttle and a better spark plug.

On flat ground.....it will go 35 mph. I'm not really planning on riding around at 35 mph all the time but it has plenty of power to get my fat ass up just about any hill around here.

I took it to the first group ride of our clubs calendar this past Sunday......overall, my friends thought it was a scream.

Really looking forward to getting out and about this year. It will be way cool to do some of the rides (and distances) I used to do in past years. Sure, I won't be able to put in nearly as much sweat equity like I used to do...but nothing beats fresh air in your face-even if it is 2 stroke gasoline assisted.

Since last December since my doc told me to lose weight to save some wear and tear on my knees-I've dropped about 30 pounds- I'd plan to lose another 30 pounds......my knees will thank me, but I kinda have a feeling the next 30 won't be nearly as easy as the first 30. I was only planning on losing a pound a week for a year so at this point-I'm ahead of the game.

Been busy as all get out between working 6 nights a week making donuts and fixing computers....haven't been updating my blog a whole bunch over the winter- I still post up some stuff over at Facebook.

I'll try to update this blog more often but I can't promise anything.

Hopefully.... I'll be out riding my bike!

Till later :-)

First ride of the year...........

2010-03-20T08:38:00.001-04:00

First group ride of the year tomorrow afternoon.......yay.

IRS.....

2010-02-23T14:10:00.002-05:00

Joke

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.

"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

I couldn't agree more.

I went to the local IRS office this afternoon to pick up some forms and they were out of one I wanted to look at.....walked into the office, 6 or 7 people were waiting-I asked the 85 year old security guard about the form and he said I need to take a number.

A number just to tell them they are out of a form? The old guy said yup.....I'll come back some other time.....

My bike's done.........

2010-02-22T06:48:00.001-05:00

Pictures to follow later this week. Busy week with computer stuff...

Holy smokes............

2010-02-16T06:46:00.003-05:00

Boy, am I ever ready for a vacation next week.

I'm fortunate enough to have 4 weeks of time off every year, so I like to take a week off for every season. I have a bunch of computer stuff lined up next week and I would like to finish the motor install on my bicycle and maybe do my taxes.

The highlight of the week however is Friday night- my lovely wife and I are going to see Riverdance.

I think my wife and I have spent about 20 minutes together total in the past couple weeks....it will be nice to hang out for an evening and spend some quality time with each other.

till later.

Best use of beer cans ever.......

2010-02-14T06:29:00.004-05:00

till later.

Abbott and Costello......

2010-02-12T05:16:00.002-05:00

My friend Jim sent me this............

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know.. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

Seen on Reddit........

2010-02-10T15:54:00.001-05:00

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - forgive.

Free your mind from worries - most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more.

Expect less.

NOW ............

Enough of that crap . ... The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

till later.

More........

2010-02-10T03:47:00.000-05:00

More kid touchers. I sure hope Hell takes reservations.

The last unbiased newscaster....

2010-02-08T06:51:00.002-05:00

Close one..........

2010-02-05T11:26:00.003-05:00

One of my clients pays all of her employees today......her computer was having trouble talking to the printer.

Fixed it with 9 minutes to spare before she opened her office this morning.

I'm glad....all her employees have carry and conceal permits:-)

till later.

20 pounds.............

2010-02-03T08:26:00.008-05:00

Woo hoo.....my total weight loss so far is 20 pounds.

So far, this was easy- I kinda have the feeling that the next 20 ain't gonna be so easy.

I'm not worried....I'll do what I gotta do to drop the weight. I don't really feel all that different with the exception of all my work pants don't stay up...looks like I'm going to be wearing suspenders so I don't have permanent plumbers butt.

Go my motor and all the mounting hardware.......

Side view..............

Rear view....check out that gnarly roller.

First thing I did was to install a centerstand on the bike, so my 500 dollar investment doesn't fall over and get dinged....that would piss me off.

Yeah, sure it's gonna look a little dorky but I'm not really that concerned.

I did have to do a little backyard engineering on the mounting plate for the kickstand, since the bike wasn't really designed with a kickstand in mind-the front derailleur wire and the mounting plate had to share the same space......got my drill out and made me a hole.

Neat, huh?

My next door neighbor came over to check everything out and we both agreed one of the mounting plates is a little janky. It looks plenty strong for what it has to do...just looks homemade. I'm gonna paint it semi-gloss black and hope that it blends in with the paint scheme on the bike.

At the suggestion of my neighbor (the dude is wicked smart), I'm also going to replace several of the mounting bolts with higher strength rated bolts...the ones supplied are probably okay, but if one snapped off when I was 20 or 30 miles out-I'd be screwed.

It's gonna be a little while before I have more pics of progress.....I want to take my time and do everything perfect.

till later.

Nice........

2010-02-01T12:37:00.001-05:00

......real nice.

I'm not that smart.........

2010-01-30T06:55:00.002-05:00

I just make donuts for a living and I'm a nutjob registered Libertrian, so I might not be the smartest guy in the room.....but so far President Obama ain't impressing me a whole lot.

Let's see- for the first year of his presidency-he had a super majority in the Senate and House and as far as I can tell-he hasn't got shit done.

Now, to be honest...he inherited a shitbag full of problems from the previous president, but if I was the pres and had a 60/40 lead in the Senate and a majority in the House....I'd be busting me some major league balls and getting at least something done.

If the Republicans had the same situation and the same numbers in their favor and they wanted to get a health care plan done-it would be done by now and they'd be off screwing something else up.

Gotta hand it to the Republicans-they know how to get stuff done, even if the stuff they get done is mostly useless- they still know how to use the entire political system to their benefit.

Too bad the entire political system is useless as teats on a boarhog......

till later.

I don't know...........

2010-01-29T19:16:00.002-05:00

I don't know if the following facts are 100% accurate-but it sure is interesting....

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears, Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.

8. During this same period, 31 Supermarket Chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 Years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12.. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart. You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that............

MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy because the idiots in Washington and sure can't do it!

17 pounds.........

2010-01-27T07:13:00.002-05:00

So far, I've lost 17 pounds. To celebrate- I bought one of these.

Not sure exactly how I'm gonna pay for it quite yet, but I gotta have something to look forward to when it gets warm out.

I think I rode a total of 20 miles last year.....to be honest-it just hurts too damn bad to ride very far and dear God-I love me some riding.

Been riding a bike since I've been 4 years old and I'll be damned if my 80 year old arthritic knees are gone be a hindrance to getting a little fresh air.

Sure, it won't be as nearly as much physical exercise, but I need the mental exercise just as much.

Not sure how my riding buddies will react, but at least I should be able to keep up with them.....

....at least till I run out of gas.

till later.

Getting old sucks the big one.

2010-01-22T06:34:00.002-05:00

Well, so far I've lost a total of 14 pounds and didn't loose an ounce this past week. Totally my fault, I had off a 3 day weekend and pretty much ate like an idiot.

As a reminder to lose weight, my knees remind me I'm a fatso by constantly aching. I had some serious breakthrough pain this morning but a couple of Vicadin helped.

I'm back on the wagon this week, hopefully I'll have some decent results next week....anyways, lots of folks out there have way worse problems then I do.

The news sure ain't good down in Haiti......I can't even imagine losing everything. By everything I mean family and friends...just gone.

Material things can be replaced in time but family....like I said before-I can't even imagine.

Say a prayer.

till later

Holy shit..........

2010-01-20T05:24:00.002-05:00

These folks sure do read a lot into a movie.

Another reason..........

2010-01-19T05:05:00.003-05:00

Here's another reason I like working on computers.............

I just pulled several thousand pictures off an unbacked up hard drive that was inoperative.

Pictures of my client at her wedding, her mom's last birthday party before she passed away, etc.

Of course she is gonna get a bill for my services but it sure feels good being able to help someone who thought her stuff was gone forever.

They are also going to get the "back up your stuff" lecture when I drop off the laptop:-)

Data doesn't exist unless it is stored on at least 2 separate hard drives.

I've already learned that lesson.

till later.

Still here......

2010-01-18T10:29:00.002-05:00

Wow.....what can I say-it's been quite awhile since I posted anything of substance on my blog.

Reasons why?

-Burnt out on blogging.

-I've been extremely busy with my consulting business.

-Been very busy at my "real job"...working 6 nights a week, 50 hours a week plus 10 to 20 hours working on computers and consulting.

Excuses, excuses, excuses......

Here's what's been going on in my life...

I visited my doc back in December to see what's going on with my knees.

My pain level has gotten to the point were I can barely climb or descend a set of stairs. After a bunch of x-rays-turns out I have a nice case of arthritis in my knees. I sorta knew that, but the x-rays confirmed what I pretty much already knew.

Since I was about 35 pounds overweight back in December...losing weight was the first thing on the list of things to do.....so far, I lost about 10 pounds and to say I'm highly motivated to lose weight would be an understatement.

Anyways....enough of that stuff for now.

More stuff to follow.....

till later.

I'm missing something..........

2010-01-05T10:27:00.002-05:00

I thought all girls wanted a small rear end, not a big lumpy one.

It's been duly noted........

2010-01-04T12:05:00.003-05:00

More evidence........

2010-01-02T06:18:00.002-05:00

Small wonder most of the world think us Americans are generally idiots. I guess I ain't got much room to talk....I make glazed blobs of dough for a living.

Al Franken for President......

2009-12-27T21:43:00.001-05:00

Seriously, I think this guy gets it.

Avatar........

2009-12-27T20:07:00.001-05:00

Go see it.....

....preferably in 3 D.

till later.

2 more kid touchers get the boot........

2009-12-25T17:06:00.001-05:00

There's no excuse for this.

Christmas Day is not bullshit..........

2009-12-24T20:24:00.002-05:00

The day of Christmas and Christmas eve are pretty cool.

Spending time with family and friends is good stuff.

All we need to do is eliminate the 2 month run up to December 25th and I'd be a happy boy.

till later

Christmas is bullshit.

2009-12-23T10:42:00.003-05:00

Here's an idea......instead of everyone stressing out over finding the "perfect gift" for your kid, husband, wife, mother-in-law, etc.....

Next year-let's all donate the money we would spend on each other to their favorite charity....there is always someone out there worse off then you and they need food and shelter more then you need a vibrating, color pulsing, fur covered coffee cup.

The retail industry will probably collapse, but buying dumb shit for people that really don't need more dumb shit is a dumb tradition.

I work retail and to be honest.....I hate the 2 month long run up to Christmas each year.

Let's be honest, how many happy people do you see this time of year? Not many and the ones that you do see happy are probably drunk off their asses.

Christmas ain't about buying dumb shit for people you really don't like......Christmas means lots of different stuff to lots of different people....but lets take the tradition buying of dumb shit out of the equation.

Whaddya all think?

till later.

Dysfuctional teddy bear.....

2009-12-16T05:52:00.004-05:00

I'm supposed to make teddy bears out of rye and pumpernickel bread for a special holiday bread...........

This is what it looks like before it's proofed and baked.....

Here's what he looks like after he's all baked.

Sorta looks like Mr Teddy went out to the bar and got hammered....his eyeballs are sorta wonky.

till later.

Bike riding donut guy

I'm a paid test driver.......

Here's the reason........

Okay.............

Back in business........

Hey....its only money.

Not again...........

First time...........

I am in charge...........

Nice to be back...........

New motor........

Put the damn fork down.

So....where the hell was I for the last 8 months?

Gots me a new motor........

I'm back........

I'm an artist...........

Sold......

Selling a camera..........

Family......

What I'm thankful for.............

Thank you............

Rest in peace dad........

Getting a little chilly out.......

One update every 2 months..........

Anger management........

A joke that's right up my alley........

I love old people.............

Bikes....bikes......bikes....

Big Government.

Masterchef...........

My ass hurts...........

Chili.

There's your problem..........

First ride....

Betty White is awesome......

I'm getting too old for this shit............

3 weeks..........

iPhone 4........

Comcast is really dropping the ball.

Off the deep end.....

Yay.

Pissed............

Puzzled.....

Are you serious..........

Make no mistake.........

My favorite quote............

Extreme boredom has set in.............

Not fun...........

Cake success or failure......

I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier....

Black and blue.......

Joke........

Way better today............

No effing wonder it hurts so much...........

Bad joke time....

Ouch.

Tomorrow is the big day......

Meep meep...............

This is a "go see"

Be afraid......

Vacation was *quick*

Damn knees......

Best joke you'll hear today......

I love me some Kindle........

Goodbye Cross-Check.....

Surly Cross Check....price reduced!!!

TV.....

Next time...show up when you're supposed to....

Random observations.....

This pisses me off..............

I love me some Jamie Oliver.........

This is disgusting.......

I can barely climb a set of stairs........

First ride of the year...........

IRS.....

My bike's done.........

Holy smokes............

Best use of beer cans ever.......

Abbott and Costello......

Seen on Reddit........

Vacation was quick

Christmas Day is not bullshit..........