Valentines day started out just fine. My wife and I were both off yesterday so after we dropped our son off at school, we went out for breakfast. I had a turkey and cheese omlette.
About 3 hours later I was doubled over wondering whether to throw up or experience the pleasures of explosive diarrhea. Not to worry, I had the pleasure of both, thankfully not at the same time but it was close a couple times.
As I was curled up in a ball on the floor-the power went off. Spiffy, now I was gonna be cold and sick. Thankfully I felt better after 3 or 4 hours, now all I have to do is go back to the resturant and bitch slap the owner for making me miss work.
It never ceases to amaze me as to what people willingly eat. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside knowing I fry up over a half million calories of donuts every night.
I don't know what's scarier....... The fact that the screener missed the knife or the fact that women carry butcher knifes on blind dates.
I woulda shit my pants if this came out of my ketchup bottle. Done with the brand? Hell, I would never use ketchup again.
What are the scientists over in India smoking?
Oxymoron? Why yes, I think I'll have one. (NSFW)
In case anybody missed it, the Sox won the World Series.
If I had a half-million dollar Ferrari, I'd learn how to drive it properly.
Some folks do some very unusual things with their body cavities. Don't ask me how I found that link.
Burn in Hell............... Burn in Hell Pt 2. You guys deserve it.
Ask the "Fruitcake Lady" She tells it like it is..............
This is one fight I'd pay to see. SpongeBob rules.