Saturday, August 20, 2005

Hell is CLOSED..........

I am blatantly stealing this joke from my buddy Hank.............

The following is an actual question from a University chemistry mid-
term exam. The answer by one student was "profound".

The bonus Question was:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls
go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by my friend Teresa during my
first year, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,
and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A

All I can say is that joke is funny as ........heck.

Here's a bike race I could win. I go down hills a helluva lot faster then I go up them.

I stopped for gas this morning on the way home from work. I've never put in 45 bucks worth before today. I'm sure glad I only have to fill up once every 2 or 3 weeks. Ouch.

Once I win the lottery, in addition to my fully staffed kitchen stadium, I am gonna have a couple of those upright freezer cases with glass doors like they have in grocery stores. I will have every damn variety of Hagen-Daz ice cream they make. For me, ice cream is like crystal meth is to a drug addict. Only meth makes you skinny and ice cream does the opposite.

You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. If you're offended by my politics...........you might be at the wrooooong blog.

Anybody got a fake skull head like this they wanna sell? I want to put one on my chopper. A real one would be okay to if anyone has one, I just don't wanna have to pay 15 bucks for it.

If I kill it, do I get my 30 bucks back?

Ya like McDonalds? ...........I be liking it too.

Wassup with this shit?

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I'd vote for him.

A page full of "oops".

Till later.

1 comment:

Jank said...

Wow - I like the guy, but somehow a bronze bust is going a little bit far. O'Grady completely cracks me up, too. Is that a contradiction? Or is it a lost art - being able to laugh at one's own sacred cows?

That joke - quite possibly the finest of all time. But obviously a work of fiction. The guy a) knows physics and b) is gettin' some.