Sleep is *not* overrated....

I work third shift and my wife works first shift.

I work lots of weekends, she works Monday through Friday most weeks. It's always worked out great as far as getting the kids to school, doctor appointments, snow days or whatever but it's always tough for me to try and adjust my sleeping schedule on my weekends off to be awake when my wife and son are awake.

Needless to say, when I had off this past weekend I felt 180 degrees out of phase to the normal world.

We went for a bite to eat at midnight on Saturday since we all happened to be awake. Our son called up his sister at school from the restaurant and told her what we were up to. She of course was just getting ready to go out with some friends......I can remember those days. I would just skip sleeping and stay up for 2 days in a row.

I'm too old for that shit now. If I miss my 8 or 9 hours of sleep, I'm pretty much useless. I need at least 7 hours of sleep to operate and 8 to 9 hours preferably.

Since it's 3 in the morning as I write this, I'm in a silly mood....so here's a couple of jokes.

A rich man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you - we've looked at your life, and your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"

The man thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along in my Ferrari and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!"

"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded, "When did this happen?"
"About two minutes ago," came the reply.

....or.........

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor
and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S.
and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you
own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in
Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city
feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's
groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose
off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick
to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and
said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"

The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"

I like that one.

I'd weigh 900 pounds if I worked at Google. Maybe not though, some of that food looked fairly healthy.

This family reminds me of this lady. Nothing is their fault and whatever goes wrong.......they want the government to fix it.

I suppose I'm not that much of a coffee connoisseur so I don't feel a whole lot of pain for Starbucks. I can get coffee for 1/3 the price at any convenience store. Tastes the same to me and I don't have to deal with the "tip" jar. Tip jars piss me off anyways, unless you are a waitress, waiter or have a similar occupation.......just do your job and be done with it.

If I have to stand at a counter and wait for you to simply pour a cup of coffee......you ain't gettin' a tip. McDonald's doesn't have a tip jar and they make more then just coffee.........yeah, I know it sounds like I'm a crappy tipper but I'm not. When I go to a sit down restaurant and I have good service-I tip at least 20 percent and usually 25 percent.

I like cats. Here's some funny ones. Our cat was sitting in my lap looking at the computer when I watched the video, I think she liked it.

I've always wondered what farts look like. Now you know too.

A mugger picked on the wrong old guy. Can you imagine what the muggers last thoughts were?

The pot calling the kettle black.

I work with food everyday.....whenever I go into a fast food place I always look around to see how well it's maintained and how dirty the floors are. You can generally tell how well a restaurant is run by looking at the prep area floor. If no one can take the time to at least sweep up once and awhile, you can be pretty sure they aren't doing any other sanitation either.

Check out this KFC in Now York. I'm proud to say I'm anal about sanitation.....We've had district managers come into our bakery unannounced with other store managers to show them how a donut production area is supposed to look. You can pretty much eat off the floor in my shop.

Has anyone considered that the poor woman has postpartum depression? At least her ex-husband seems to be supportive. I've seen him in a few interviews and he seems like an okay guy

I was looking for something to watch Sunday afternoon beside tractor-pulls when I discovered we now have Versus. Holy crap, I'm actually gonna be able to see some European cycling this year. I'm glad we now have the only channel that carries any cycling, but I wish we woulda had it for the last 8 years when Lance and Floyd were kicking everyone's ass at the Tour. Oh well, I'm just glad we have it now.....

If you're from New Zealand.......this is the site for you. Go ahead and light my ass up if ya want...........I know two guys from NZ-one of them is a great guy and the other one will probably try to use the site to hook up. You know who you are.

Bush doesn't have any skin in Iraq. I'm not surprised.

George Takei has a sense of humor. I love it, life's too short to spend it being a bigot.

I'm not much of a beer drinker, but this is way cool. Maybe they could set it up to launch me my Lipton's Diet Green Tea and I'd be all set.

This ad was banned from Australian TV. (totally safe for work)

Looks like gas is back on the way up.........ride your bike or maybe one of these old Beetles.

Till later.