Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Day is *not* bullshit..........

The day of Christmas and Christmas eve are pretty cool.

Spending time with family and friends is good stuff.

All we need to do is eliminate the 2 month run up to December 25th and I'd be a happy boy.

till later

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas is bullshit.

Here's an idea......instead of everyone stressing out over finding the "perfect gift" for your kid, husband, wife, mother-in-law, etc.....

Next year-let's all donate the money we would spend on each other to their favorite charity....there is always someone out there worse off then you and they need food and shelter more then you need a vibrating, color pulsing, fur covered coffee cup.

The retail industry will probably collapse, but buying dumb shit for people that really don't need more dumb shit is a dumb tradition.

I work retail and to be honest.....I hate the 2 month long run up to Christmas each year.

Let's be honest, how many happy people do you see this time of year? Not many and the ones that you do see happy are probably drunk off their asses.

Christmas ain't about buying dumb shit for people you really don't like......Christmas means lots of different stuff to lots of different people....but lets take the tradition buying of dumb shit out of the equation.

Whaddya all think?

till later.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dysfuctional teddy bear.....

I'm supposed to make teddy bears out of rye and pumpernickel bread for a special holiday bread...........

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This is what it looks like before it's proofed and baked.....

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Here's what he looks like after he's all baked.

Sorta looks like Mr Teddy went out to the bar and got hammered....his eyeballs are sorta wonky.

till later.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Person of the Year...

This is Donut Guy's person of the year......

Hosted by

Susan Boyle.

Seriously, that woman has a set of pipes.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Life lessons.........

My friend Ted sent me this.......

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old,
The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

01. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

02. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

03. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

04. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

05. Pay off your credit cards every month.

06. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

07. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

08. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

09. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past, so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness, but you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

26. Always choose life.

27 Forgive everyone everything.

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

32. Believe in miracles.

33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

36. Your children get only one childhood.

37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

41. The best is yet to come.

42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

43. Yield.

44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Good stuff, huh?

till later

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I'd do the same damn thing.


That's a WIN in my book.


Democrats could fuck up a free beer party.

I just make donuts for a living so I may not know as much about politics as the experts but don't they have a majority in both Houses and could basically tell the Republicans to sit down and shut the hell up?

Monday, December 07, 2009


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That's how many calories I had yesterday.......6% of my diet consisted of a glazed donut-boy, that junk food sure adds up fast.

I'm using the Daily Plate feature on, I can access it with my Blackberry so there ain't no excuse not to add in all those "extra" calories.

Wow, was that last sentence a double or triple negative?

till later.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

This is why you're fat........

Oh hell yeah.....if I made these at work....we would sell every last one.


You want badass? THIS is badass.

YouTube - Johnny Cash Hurt


I'm motivated like a MF'er to lose some weight.

I found a way cool calorie tracker at that I can use on my Blackberry and my laptop to track everything I eat. It's pretty cool, I use it while I'm away from the computer on my Blackberry and it graphs everything out.

I went to the doctor last week and the first thing the doc said is to lose some weight and maybe my knees won't feel so bad. knees are fucking killing me.

If I can stay off of cigarettes for 10 years and counting....I can lose 30 or 40 pounds. It might take a year to do it....but I will do it. You can believe that shit.

It would be nice to be able to walk up and down a flight of stair without having to use the handrails for support.

Will losing weight help?

Oh, hell yeah....I don't know if it will totally elimanate my problems but living with the pain and discomfort I have now for the rest of my like is NOT an option.

It sure was fun getting fat-now it's time to get fucking real and make sure I live to be old enough to see my grandkids graduate from college.

I wanna be one of the opinionated old geezers that can sit at the family dinner table and say all kinds of off the wall shit and get away with it because I'm old.

I'd also like to be able to get out on the bike and do a little riding as well....I really really miss being able to go out for hours at a time to be able to clear my head.

Hey, after all-the title of this here blog is... BIKE riding donut guy.

till later.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Tiger jokes......

What is the difference between an SUV and a golf ball? ......Tiger woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

Tiger hit a tree and a fire hydrant.........He couldn't decide between an iron and a wood.

What do you call a black man being chased by hundreds of white men with clubs? The PGA Tour.

Elin took six but only put down a four on her scorecard.

What's the difference between Tiger's Cadillac and his pitching wedge?....He can back up his pitching wedge.

What do Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

What do rednecks and Tiger Woods have in common? They both park their cars on the lawn.

Don't get pissed at me...I didn't write them-I just stole them.