Tuesday, March 31, 2009

All tore up.....

Bad news....I have a torn meniscus in my right knee.

Good news....I get to sit around and post cat videos.

till later

Saturday, March 28, 2009


If you think President Obama's planned commencement speech at Notre Dame is a bad idea....read this article.

I think that if I was a devout Catholic and was attending said school....I'd go and have a listen anyways. The dude is a fairly good speaker and hey....I might learn something.

I remember this just like it happened. I was working overnight at a bakery in Harrisburg and remember listening to the radio and how everyone was leaving the area. I blame the media for most of the hysteria at the time.

Another good reason to stay away from Wal-Mart bikes and buy your bike from a professional bike shop.

Wal-Mart might be good for lots of stuff, but bikes ain't one of them. I bought our son a bike there when he was small and I basically had to disassemble it and reassemble it.

This is Barcelona in 1908....pretty cool movie....lots of dudes on bikes.

Do cannonball float in mercury? Find out here.

Best Rube Goldberg video you will see today.

I am listening....I'm just storing the information for later use.

Best automobile commercial you will see today.

Best house tour you will see today....this might be a re-post...sue me.

If you can afford 14 of them......more power to you.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

till later.

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's hillbilly time........

It probably seems like I live and work in rural West Virginia from some of my latest posts concerning rednecks and hillbillies.

I'm friends with a bakery manager from Front Royal W VA and she agrees- there are a lot of rednecks and mullet wearing hillbillies in our area...she used to live here, so she would know.

It's not like I search out weirdos to post about in my blog, but when you work graveyard shift in a grocery store......well, not many normal people shop at 3 AM.

There's this guy that comes in every morning and if you saw him...you'd agree with me that he looks like he just finished masturbating right before him came (no pun intended) into the store. Not sure what it is about him...but if you look up the word "skeevy" in the dictionary-his picture with his squinty little beady eyes would be there.

I guess pervy people gotta eat too.

Hopefully, the weather will cooperate Sunday afternoon.....I'm dyin' to get a ride in. Hell, I don't even care if it's just a 10 miler down the river and back-I gotta get some sunshine.

till later.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

You might be a redneck.......

You might be a redneck if you and your wife go grocery shopping at 3 AM and you're both wearing matching camo hoodies and cargo shorts.

The Crocs they were wearing were an added bonus.

Sorry, no pictures....I don't want to risk getting fired.

I can't make this stuff up.

till later.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Damn cat part 2

I found my phone, the cat had it in her window seat underneath her blanket. Not sure if she was planning on keeping it, but the way she had it hidden-I'm thinking she was planning on keeping it. She was probably just getting back at me for putting a scarf around her neck the other day.....or maybe planning on SMS'ing her friends for a sleepover.

Anyone been reading up on the financial shitstorm happening in our country? It's pretty bad out there but from what I've been reading and just a gut feeling....I think it's going to get worse. I sure hope I'm wrong, but being close to 50 years old....I'm hoping that things recover in the next 10 to 15 years so my lovely wife and I can retire.

As far as our kids and their kids are concerned? Wow, all I can say is that the next few generations are on the hook for a metric assload of government debt. It's some scary shit....and most of the problems can be traced back to this shining piece of legislation.

Exxon Mobil oughta just do the right thing. It's not like they ain't got the money. Why do some corporations just insist on being dickheads?

Best wooden bicycle you will see today.

Best cat videos you will see today.

Best pink statue you will see today.

Best penis on a roof you will see today. (SFW)

Best geek dancing you will see today.

Best rich idiot watch you will see today.

Best monkey act you will see today.

Best blue bicycle you will see today.....I dig custom made bicycles. Read more of Doug's blog for this particular bike build...Doug is on the mend from an accident and is just starting back on the bike-the dude takes fantastic pictures when he's on his rides.

Typical Hollywood article.....I'm just curious-I wonder who told her she looked good in that dress....kinda looks like they ran out of ideas and still had extra cloth.

No shit. Must be a slow news day. What's next? Donuts make you fat and stupid?

Hey, if Obama gets these folks all pissed off....maybe he should go someplace else where they have some tolerance for opposing viewpoints. Just sayin'.

till later.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Damn cat..........

Our cat picked up my cellphone and hid it.

I tried asking her nice where she put it, but she wasn't in the mood to answer me.

Since she has a brain the size of a walnut....I don't think talking to her is a good use of my time.

I guess I better get down on my hands and knees with a flashlight and start looking.

till later.

PS-If you're coming from Facebook....I did a bazillion friend requests today-if you don't know me and you're pissed I friend requested you-continue ignoring me....ain't no biggie-I'll get over it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Chernobyl in pictures.

This is interesting.

I've said it hundreds of times.....

Well, maybe not hundreds, but just the same.... I'm just some guy that makes donuts for a living, but- I can recognize a slimeball when I see one.

Democratic or Republican....most (not all) of the wheeler dealers in DC are crooks.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Getting hurt is no fun.........

It's been a long time (knock on wood) since I've really hurt myself riding a bike. Yeah, I've had a few scrapes and bruises, but no broken bones (broken fingers don't count).

One of my readers (Thanks Bob) sent me this link about getting "doored".

I've never been doored but thinking back to my youth until the present......I've had plenty of other mishaps......note to my mother-you might not know about all these.....I didn't want to worry you:-)

-When I was 12- I rear ended a station wagon because I couldn't stop in time...no worries-the rear window was open and I landed in the rear seat.

-I broke the handlebars in half on my my bike when I was in 10th grade and rode it that way for a couple weeks because I didn't have the money to get it fixed.

-Right when I started back up mountain biking in the mid 90's...I lost my balance on the top of a steep hill...I fell off on the hill side and my bike fell off the side of the ravine-it took me a half hour to find it and another hour to drag it out of the woods because both tires were flat.

-When I was going down a very steep hill on my road bike (50mph+) A very large wasp landed on my upper thigh and I had to watch it sting me several times before I could get my bike stopped. That one hurt like a MF'er.

While I was bombing down a large hill on my mountain bike-A very large buck ran directly in front of me. I was probably going at least 20 mph and the buck was so close to my handlebars, I can't believe I didn't hit it.

That was the closest I ever came to crapping my pants while riding a bike.....except when I was 4- I did crap my pants while I was riding my tricycle with the broken handlebars.

Lots of other wrecks and a trail of broken bicycle parts...some other time.

till later.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I love screwing with people.....

Little enough I get out of life......I enjoy screwing with drunk customers at 3AM.

I use several tools for most of my work, number one- I repeat everything they say back to them as a question and number 2- I repeat the same answer twice with a different inflection each time or sometimes to be extra fun-I'll answer a question with a totally incorrect answer.

Typical conversation goes like this......

Drunk Customer- Hey, yous guys got any fresh donuts?

Me- Do we have any fresh donuts?

DC- Yeah.


DC Yes....yes what?

Me-We have fresh donuts.

DC Do you have any creme filled?

Me-Do we have creme filled?

About this time the drunk customer is looking around for a hidden camera......

DC-Do I stutter?

Me- Do you stutter?

I'm starting to irritate the living shit out of this guy, so I figure it's time to switch tactics.

Me-Creme filled? Yes, I'm sorry-we have fresh coffee rolls...how many would you like?

DC-Coffee rolls?

Me-Coffee rolls?

DC-No, do you have......customer forgets what they originally wanted...

Me-Creme filled?

DC-Yes, creme filled.

Me-No sorry, we're all out.

DC-Do you have coffee rolls?

Me-Do we have coffee rolls?

DC- Yeah.

Me- Yes, we have creme filled ...how many would you like?

.........I'm lucky I don't get killed.

till later.

Friday, March 20, 2009

McDonalds really isn't food........

It's been quite awhile since I've eaten at a McDonalds. I stopped there yesterday with my son and his girlfriend for a quick meal.


I had a Big Mac that I burped up for the rest of the evening.

It's really not a hamburger.....it's more like the food scientists at McDonalds engineered a hamburger "product"....it looks like a hamburger, but it ain't really a hamburger.

As I am sitting here typing this 10 hours after having eaten it....my stomach still feels queasy.

I can't believe people eat that shit on a daily basis.

till later.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


If wasting time on Facebook could be turned into a job somehow......I'd be the first guy to apply for a position.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


I didn't even realize that Spring is gonna be here in a couple days......yay. I'm looking forward to it in a big way.

How the other half lives.....kinda interesting if you grew up in a duplex like I did. Our half was nicely maintained while our neighbors side was a rental unit and was kinda run down.

till later.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St Patricks Day..

The message seems to be....if you're Irish....today's the day to be a drunk jackass. Speaking as an Irishman- we don't go out and drink ourselves into a stupor on St Pats day....that stuff is strictly for amateurs.

True Irishmen just go about their daily lives...it's just like any other day only we're Irish and you're not......

If I had a job where I had to sit in front of a computer all day.....I'd probably get fired.

Between reading my RSS feeds on Google Reader, Facebook and Google News...I wouldn't have any time to do work.

I glad that I don't have internet access on my side of the store...I have no self control-I'm an information junkie.

Our daughter has 581 friends on Facebook...I wonder if she knows all those folks? Knowing her, she probably does.

I bought one of my Christmas presents and am using it already.....a new office chair. I left the wheels and the left side arm rest off when I put it together....yeah, I'm a little weird.

Maybe I spoke too soon about being disappointed with Obama and the AIG bonus situation.

This dude had 8 years to get it right and he screwed the pooch...now he needs to shut the f*** up and retire gracefully.

Things are going to get worse.....way worse- before they get better. I am extremely thankful I have steady employment.

I'm very happy no one was hurt.....but I woulda paid 20 bucks to see it happen.

till later.

Monday, March 16, 2009

I'm not the brightest guy in the world......

Excuse my French.....but HOLY CRAP!!!!

Why the hell are we paying these jackasses bonuses?

So we can keep all that awesome talent in one place?

I'd sure hate to lose all the brainpower at AIG, yeah-those guys have done a great job over the past couple years.

Oh, I forgot- they are contractually obligated to pay them.

I say bullshit.

The only thing sure in this life are death and taxes...since the government (you and me) own over 75% of AIG.....I say let the execs there sue us for the money.

President Obama.....I thought you had a set of balls.

till later.

You might be a redneck.......

.....if you pay your power bill in pennies.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Meat Bingo........

I've lived here almost my entire life and I've never heard about "Meat Bingo"

Sounds like your typical Pennsyltucky redneck Friday night good time... but it's held by the Lions Club and they do tons of charity work for the visually impaired.


till later.

Friday, March 13, 2009


Part of my job is training new bakery associates how to make donuts....I'm working with a guy that's from Michigan. He's a helluva nice guy and a super hard worker....but boy his accent hard to follow.


I of course, sound perfectly normal. Eh?

I think my favorite accent is Southern...I worked with a very nice young lady from Georgia a couple years ago and she was fun to talk to. It just might be me, but everyone I've ever worked with from the South have been way more laid back than us uptight Northerners.

I watched some of American Idol this week....sort of a fun show. Not sure why everyone is all up in arms about the "Judge's Save"...heck, it's just a TV show-they ain't curing cancer or anything.

till later.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Only 15 years or so to go........

I'm almost 50 and if everything goes to plan.....sometime after the next 15 years goes by-I'll be able to retire.

My dad (bless his heart) is in his early 70's and still works a 40 hour week.

I don't know 100% of my parents finances but I'm pretty sure he could retire if he wanted to. Thing is...he likes to work-more power to him I say.


The second I can retire.....I'm gone.

A good friend and co-worker just retired last week and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He saved 10% of his salary in a 401 k and with that, his pension and S.S., he's making more money retired then he was when he was working.

All I know is that my ass was dragging last night at work....having an entire week off from making donuts was nice and being back on my feet for 8 hours a night sucks hind teat.

This has to be the dumbest woman on the planet.

till later.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Back to work.........

Time to go back to work Tuesday night.....yay.

I can't complain too much, I still have over 3 weeks of vacation to take yet.

The weather today is just about perfect as far as I'm concerned...light breeze and temps in the 60's. I have all the windows open and there is a nice little bit of fresh air going through the house.

Now if I only wouldn't have been an idiot working out last week and bunged up a knee....it would be a perfect day for a ride. Our cycling group here in York had a ride yesterday afternoon...I was planning on attending after lunch with my folks but it just wasn't gonna happen.

I had a good week, spent way more time then I thought I would working on clients machines but hey....I made a little bit of money which is going to pay for my son's new computer.

I did add an extra work station to my set-up...last week when I was working on 4 computers at once-I sorta ran out of room to put stuff. I have a great wife, even though our dining room kinda looks like a computer room instead of a dining room...she's okay with it....sorta.

Stem cell research is back on. Since I'm a fairly radical Libertarian liberal....I think this is a great idea. If it has the potential to saves lives-I'm for it.

Wow...Rush Limbaugh really is a jackass. Picking on a guy with a brain tumor is kinda low.

I don't even though who this is...but I woulda lost my shit too if someone touched me.

I love fart machines....SFW video on a NSFW website.

I'd like to see some of the stimulus money spent on stuff like this.

I want a computer like this one. Yikes.

This was pretty much what it was like when I grew up.

Too bad things are so different now....

till later.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Vatican defends Brazil excommunication - Yahoo!7 News

Wow....this is messed up. The victim is only 9 years old for heavens sake.

Vatican defends Brazil excommunication

A little bummed.....

I really wished I didn't overdo the elliptical machine last week.

I'm missing a good bike ride today.

I suppose that if that's my worst problem....things aren't to bad, but still-it woulda been nice to hang out with my friends.

Did anyone notice that I've tried to steer away from politics in the past few weeks? I know it's an extremely polarizing subject......the Republicans gotta do something with this guy. Personally, I think he's ten pounds of shit packed into a 5 pound bag, but everyone is entitled to their opinion.

My wife is back from her conference in Kansas and has a bag full of pens and 4 coffee thermos to hand out to her co-workers....she's pretty impressed with my cleaning job.

Our daughter is back from Mexico safe and sound.....I haven't had a chance to talk to her but hopefully she had a good time.

We used to play "Kick the Can" in front of Victor's Italian Restaurant.....back when I was a kid-it was a seedy bar.

I'm thinking that at some point...it would be cheaper for the Federal government to directly pay the employees of GM instead of propping up the company. I know it's not quite that simple, but still.


till later.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Clean house.....

I know I oughta help out around the house more often.....I try to make up for it with my sense of humor and wit.

That doesn't really fly with my lovely wife. She enjoys my sense of humor most of the time-but when it comes down to built up soap scum in the shower...not so much.

So, instead....about once or twice a year-I go through the house and clean up with extreme prejudice. It took me all of Friday to ream out all the junk laying around (to be fair-lots of it was mine) and dust, vacuum, scrub and polish stuff.

My wife likes coming home to a clean house.....if my lovely wife ain't happy-nobody is happy.

Here's some food for thought....Unemployment Rate Was 14.8% in February. Makes sense to me, just about everyone somes someone that is out of a job or working at a job they picked up just for the cash.

Like I always say...I just make donuts for a living but I'd rather have a "U" shaped recession rather then an "L" shaped one. Whatever happens-things are already bad...and getting worse.

till later.


My friend Hank sent me this.....

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks.

His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to

One day John came home with another one of his unusual
purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy,
their 11 year old son, returned home from school.

Tommy was over 2
hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an
extra credit project," said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table
and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

said John, "This robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.."
said Tommy.

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments."
answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped
him, knocking him off his chair.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up
sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called "Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to
my parents."

The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that
nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter,
almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one!

can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot
walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.


Wow....I thought I'd have a leisurely week from making donuts and get to goof off and eat ice cream.

It's not to be, this has been the busiest week ever with my computer consulting.

If I was this busy all the time fixing computers-I could quit my job. The problem is that I might go 3 or 4 weeks without any clients, so that would kinda be a problem.

My lovely wife is out of town this week and I promised her I'd clean the house....it's Friday and I haven't started yet-so gotta go.

till later.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

My cousin rides bikes........

My cousin Mat got the bike bug a couple years ago....he's riding in this year's Tour de Cure.

It's been a couple years since we hung out but it didn't stop me from throwing a little cash his way.

I don't normally ask folks to send money to people they don't know....but Mat's a good guy and he's riding for a reason.

If you can....step up to the plate and donate.

till later

Answer me this.......

How come they both have belly buttons?

Adam and Eve.jpg

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


Shocked....I'm just shocked at this news.

Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers - New Scientist

Things I learned in yesterday's snow storm.....

Never assume your snowblower will start right up if you haven't used it for two years. I drained the gas out the last time I used it and when I put fresh gas in yesterday- no love.

It was so damn cold out, I figured that might have something to do with it, so instead of screwing around with it....I got my trusty 15 year old out from behind his computer screen and made him help me shovel the driveway.

I learned that my knees do not like cold dry weather. Hell, my knees don't like anything right at the moment.

People that aren't comfortable driving in bad weather......stay the f*** off of the road. Go to an empty parking lot and practice starting, stopping and turning on snow. Yesterday, I had a lady pull out in front of me and then slammed on the brakes because I was too close to her. I just love passive-aggressive drivers.

This week....is all guy week at our house. My wife is in Kansas City for a conference. If my son and I don't burn the house down...I report later in the week on how we are managing.

till later.

Monday, March 02, 2009

So...our daughter is in Mexico this week.

Everyone I tell about our daughter being in Mexico this week is basically terrified that she will be kidnapped or killed.


I ain't worried at all.

She's in a part of Mexico where there's none (or very little) gang activity and she's going to be spending almost all her time inside a hospital working with sick children. Could something happen? Sure, but being 2000 miles away from her...there isn't much I could do about it, so why spend time worrying about it.

She's doing stuff and traveling to places I only dreamed about when I was a kid, I hope she gets the opportunity to travel even more before she settles down to start her career.

To say I am proud of her and her younger brother would be an understatement.....we have awesome kids. I really believe both of them will grow up, go out into the world and make a difference.

As a dad....what else could I ask for?

I'm starting 9 days off...to be honest-I need a break, since the beginning of the year, I've had one complete day off. I'm sorta burned out and need to recharge my batteries.

I'm working on a few computers and since my wife is out of town this week-my son and I are gonna be good boys and clean the house from top to bottom by the time she returns Saturday afternoon.

Ever wonder what R2D2 was saying in those Star Wars movies? (off color...R2D2 sorta has a dirty mind)

In my humble opinion....this was one of the best shows on TV.

Excellent air valve placement.

Satan is Using Olympics Volleyball to Get Young Boys to Masturbate! I love Landover Baptist.

till later.