How not to be an asshole.

You are if you do any of the following things around me......

-Try and talk to someone behind a retail counter (me) and someone on a cell phone at the same time. If I'm at work...I will ignore you until you are done your conversation.

-Go through the "express" line at the checkout with 45 items. No excuse for this one.......you're just a dickhead if you do this on a regular basis.

-Wait until your entire purchase is rung up and then fumble around for ID and write a check to pay for your purchases. Are you surprised the cashier asks you for money? Here's a novel concept.......fill in everything on the check except the dollar amount while the cashier is ringing you up. If you are paying with cash...........please don't spend 3 minutes looking for 2 pennies in the bottom of your purse to "help" the cashier use less change.

-Go 55 mph in the passing lane on the highway. You don't own the highway. I do. Actually we all own the highway but if you aren't actively passing someone-stay in the right lane.

-Drive with your fog lights on all the time. Fog lights are for when it's foggy. You're exempt from this if you drive a BMW, BMW drivers drive with their fog lights on all the time.

-Smoke anywhere near me. I'm one of those asshole former smokers. Nothing personal, but I will let you know if I smell you and your stinky cigarettes.

-Tailgate me. I've found a great way to make people back off my rear bumper. I wash my rear window continuously for about a minute or so. After I've covered someones car with dirty water....they usually get the message. I have to fill up my washer fluid tank more then usual, but it's worth it. Sounds like I'm being the asshole on this one but it's less confrontational then brake checking.

-Call me on the phone and not be one of my friends, family or business contacts. That almost always means you are trying to sell me something. I'm not buying, so excuse me if I talk over your sales pitch and say "No Thank You" and hang up on you.

Rude people in general.......A while back our son and I were in line at Starbucks getting my wife a cup of coffee. As usual, the place was busy and the clerk was taking orders from people in line ahead of time to try and speed things up. She asked us and .4 seconds after I was done speaking, the lady in line behind me said YOU CAN TAKE MY ORDER!!!! She said it right into my left ear..........what I like to do in situations like that is to just stare at the offending rude person for an uncomfortable amount of time. Works for me.

Till later.