People with cellphones.........

Looking at the pic above-you might be thinking that the post below contains some stuff that ain't exactly P.C.



You'd be right.


You've been warned.


People with cell phones that drive and talk at the same time oughta be shot on sight. Or if that's too extreme........then they should be dragged out of their vehicle and worked over with a bag of nickels until they're lumpy.

Ever see anyone walk around talking on a cellphone? They usually stand in one place like they are in a daze or stand in one spot and mindlessly blubber away. Imagine the same asshole talking on their cell and driving. Scary shit when they are surrounded by 3 tons of SUV and you are on a 25 pound bicycle. Mmmm, sounds like I have a hard-on for drivers with cell phones.

Took a ride up at Rocky Ridge Saturday afternoon-had one heck of a good time-I have to learn how to ride with a 100mm suspension fork again. After riding rigid on the SS for the past 2 years, I got hung up on a couple of rock outcroppings because I was going too slow. Maybe I just need to ride faster..........

I did see something while riding up there that I've never seen before while riding up at Rocky Ridge. I've seen all kinds of stuff while riding but today was the best.

I was on Trail 2 near the rear of the park when I came up on an unleashed dog, a few seconds later around the next bend-I saw a woman standing in the middle of the trail totally oblivious to anything talking on a cellphone.

It gets better, about 1oo feet down the trail were 2 small kids playing off to the side of the trail. I'm assuming the dog and the kids were hers but I didn't stop to ask. "Mom of the Year" material for sure.............I'm just glad she was able to spend some time in the woods to get away from everything for awhile.

On the bright side, I did see fellow bike blogger Ed Hidden out for a ride with one of his young sons. The "Trail-a-Bike" that Ed was using looked like a fun way to take a small child on a bike ride.

On Sunday, I played tennis with our 11 year old. He pretty much kicked my ass. The fact that I don't even know how to play tennis probably didn't help much.

I saw this on a fellow bike bloggers site. My first thought was, WTF???? I seriously thought it was some sort of parody site. After browsing it for a few seconds, I realized-they are serious. I would love to take a look at their demographic studies..............who exactly is this bike is targeted to??? NBA stars? I'm wondering if they will be coming out with some bling wheels and low profile tires soon. Pimp my bike brah.


I wonder if Wal-Mart carries these.

Here's one kick-ass bike ride. Anytime you get arrested in a foreign country riding your bike-it makes great stories to tell your grandkids.

I thought this was funny. I guess I ain't gonna be needing a jacket when I die,huh? In the afterlife, I'll probably end up being a cook here. Hard to believe that's real place. I wonder if they have fake suicide bombers.


If you lack a sense of humor........
do yourself a favor-
and don't click on the thumbnail above.

Organ donors save lives. He helped 5 other people but you have to feel for his family.

This looks like it might be fun............ Me? I'd rather derby.

This guy sure sounds like a dick. Ban mountain biking? What, is the guy a commie or something?

This is gonna be some hard core riding on May 28th. Sure hope they pave that shit by then.


Somebody was having fun with Photoshop..........

Hey, here's something useful. Found it on one of my favorite anti-spyware sites......

I saw our house.................well, I at least saw the roof of it. Hint-use the "satelitte view"

Adam Curry interview. Podcasting rocks.

This guy sounds like one helluva game designer and a pretty shitty mountain biker.

All along, you though these guys were dumbasses.

Next post, I'll have more pics of my friends chopper build up. It's coming along rather nicely.

Till later.

More homebuilt chopper news.....

Wow, this is really good news for people that own oil wells.

Man, that's just insane.

My buddy Greg sent me a couple more pics of his homebuilt chopper buildup, I am totally jealous!

Here are a couple thumbnails.......clickie to supersize.

In this pic Greg has the rear triangle ready to be tack welded, the front of the bike is still in the set up stage.


This pic gives you an idea of what the wheelbase will be, it's gonna be a monster at right around 6 feet. Greg is using a 26 inch rear wheel and a 24 inch front. I'm sure his son Alex is totally stoked to be helping his old man with this build up. He's a cool kid. And that's gonna be one long-ass fork.

Saw this article on a fellow bike bloggers site. It's a little bit of a long read but some of it really seems to be a wake up call. I don't think any of this is going to transpire when gas hits 4 bucks a gallon, maybe at 5 or 6 bucks a gallon though.....................If that happens?

I can't really change my driving habits for commuting to work-I work 3rd shift and I would have to ride on some really narrow 2 lanes roads with little to no shoulder. I'm not willing to do that to save a few bucks. If it came down to it-I'd buy a 200cc scooter to save gas.......... My wife drives 25 miles to work straight down the Interstate at 5AM to get to work, so she would have to leave at 3 AM to get to work on time if she rode a bike-totally out of the question.

Sometimes the stuff I find when I'm browsing the net defies description.......


I'm wondering what the title of this sculpture is....
Maybe.... "Bend Over, I'll Drive" or "Hey, Did You Drop the Soap?"

This is kinda sad. I remember when we used to have "Large Item Pickup" in our neighborhood twice a year. Everybody would have the chance to throw out all kinds of bulky or unneeded items. It was always fun to watch soccer moms in their Lexus SUV's browsing for stuff. It's sad that the guy in the story has to do it to make ends meet.

Wanna have the pool all to yourself at your next pool party?

I like this joke...................

Newly Married

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, loolie loolie...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...

I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?...

"LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F--KING BEER IN YOUR GOD-D--N FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFU--ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

Not like I would ever do anything like that.............

Ann Coulter is a guy. Damn.

I could have fun with this. I'd probably end up in jail.

Next post, I think I will go off on drivers on cell phones. Tune in.

Till later.................

Hope I'm a winner....

Here's a picture of the bike that is being raffled off at my LBS. I bought 10 dollars worth of tickets because I need this bike.

I need it like I need more forehead..................

I guess I'm a sucker for any bike with a wild paint job. Like I said yesterday-It's for a good cause, the proceeds of the raffle benefit YAMBA. Since I helped found the organization nearly 5 years ago-they have grown and expanded more than anyone has expected-they will put the money to good use.

If you are so un-coordinated that you can't trim your sideburns...........this product is for you. I am thinking of buying it and just wearing the side pieces all the time.

What do I know?................

Till later.

I'm a simple guy..........

Yessiree Bob, I am.

Don't take much to make me happy.

This movie right here oughta just about make my summer.

It has all the criteria of what it takes to make it to the top of the Donut Guy's "Top Ten" list...........

-Car chases

-Wild ass stunt driving

-Explosions

-Jessica Simpson

-Wanton destruction.

It even has my favorite actor of the 70's.........Burt Reynolds. (disclaimer-I only liked him in the Smokey and the Bandit movies and Deliverance)

It's a must see :-)

I might have posted this before, but this brotha knows how to drive a bike. Most of these guys don't.

Now I ain't the smartest guy in the world, but why would anyone wanna try this stuff? Why not just go ahead and light your ass on fire with lighter fluid awhile?

People will buy anything......... 15,400 bucks? Alllllrighty then.

My buddies at Gung Ho fixed me up with a new set of handlebars yesterday. I think all the bike shops in York are pretty nice places to spend time........... but I've been doing most of my business with Jay for the past 9 years so I might be a tiny bit biased. Super folks and they have the best shop dog ever.

Make sure ya stop in to buy some tickets to win a free cruiser bike. The proceeds benefit YAMBA. Come on, who doesn't need another bike? Uh, well maybe I don't need another bike but that's beside the point.

I got a set of real nice Titec "Hell Bent" semi riser bars. I like'em because the sweep is just like what I had before and they are guaranteed for 3 years-no questions asked. Gotta love that. I took them home, set up my new fork to 100mm of travel and played around with stem spacers until it felt right.


I never took a measurement of the old set up but I would imagine the front of the bike is a couple inches higher as I had to also adjust my seat because the nose was too high. Looking forward to riding on Wednesday night. Single speeding is the dog's balls.

Some NASCAR news............Rusty Wallace is still an asshole.

Here's the Dad of the Year. Good God.

Maybe it was the thousands of e-mails and phone calls they got.

I've had this happen to me on occassion....................

Here's a joke that's kinda non-PC and it might even be in bad taste..........

Little known fact...............

Did you Know?:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Till later............

Bikes..............

NEWSFLASH!!!!!

I'm gonna talk about bikes today!

My friend sent me a few pics of his chopper build up, he is just in the very beginning stages of moving tubes around and doesn't have anything welded up yet but he is going to share pics with me as he builds it up.

Here's a few thumbnails (click to make biggerer).......







I'm not nearly good enough to actually cut apart a bike and reposition stuff in different places and reweld stuff like Greg is, it's gonna be cool watching him build up his own chopper.

I broke a set of handlebars yesterday on our club's social ride, snapped them wheelie dropping off of a small bridge. The bridge was only 2 feet or so high but the transition from the bridge to the landing is kinda screwy. I had the landing nailed but a split second after landing it *SNAP*, I broke the bars about an inch from the stem. That'll teach me to run a rigid front end and try shit like that. A 2.5 tire can only soak up so much.

Fortunately, I had brought an extra set of bars with me for Greg to try on his chopper, the group was nice enough to ride back to the parking lot we me and we swapped them out and finished the ride.

Here's a thumbie of the broken bars and the bars I replaced them with.

The bars I replaced the broken ones with were a good bit narrower and were extremely squirrely on the downhills and almost impossible to climb with but hey- I got to finish the ride without bleeding or suffering a handlebar-ectomy so it was a damn fine ride in my book.

Another friend of mine sold me a really nice suspension fork for the SS, Heres a pic of it installed with a temporary set of handlebars in place so I could check out the ride.

The new fork "choppers out" the bike a little bit, I think I might run with a flat bar if I can find one wide enough. I have mixed feelings about running front suspension, but I like to ride my bike like I stole it, so it's probably for the better.

Here's a thumbnail of the picture I am going to send in to the Parks photo contest.........

If you are from York, you will recognize the hill our son is on as the bank of the Lake Redman reservoir. I like this pic for a number of reasons. #1 is the fact that one of my kids is in it and I also like the colors and the way the colors work together. It's one of my all time favorite pics.

Till later...........

Took a hike Saturday.........

My son and I took a hike up at one of our local county parks yesterday to get some pics for the annual photo contest the parks have. We drove up to Rocky Ridge because our son wanted to get some pictures with water in them and they have several trails with water crossings.

This was the first time we used our new digital camera so we left most of the settings on "automatic" since he was trying all kinds of shots. Here are a few thumbnails..........


This one is the one Daniel chose to send in.

I like this one.

He didn't take all the pics.

Gravel path to the Northern lookout.

Northern lookout-TMI is way off in the distance.

Dan is off to check more trails out.

We had fun and hopefully the boy will win in his age category. The new camera has all kinds of new settings we haven't played around with yet- oughta be fun.

Ever go to one of those online sites where go "win" a free iPod? As I am writing this blog, I am clicking through a series of screens that ask me if I want loans, free car insurance, diabetes info and all kinds of other useless crap. If I ever finish clicking screens-I'll be amazed.

I see this kind of shit and I have to wonder what the hell some teachers are thinking.

We went out to dinner last night to Friendlys. Awesome food and great ice cream and nice waitresses but the it took for freakin-ever to get our food. I think we were there for 1 1/2 hours. I think they ran out of meat and had to go kill a cow or something.

President Bush missed the clue train on this one.

I vote for "Dumbass"

What do you think the chances are that this guy "tripped down some stairs" when then booked him at the police station?

This is a funny story. The best man in my wedding used to have a 454 LS 6 Chevelle that would sit you back in the seat the whole way to about .......oh, wait-I forgot, my daughter reads this..........it was pretty fast.


Our dishwasher is broken.

I'm glad this asshole isn't my neighbor No# 67

Oh man, get this guy another beer.

Must have been a slow news day. I'd love to have a pack of firecrackers.

First, someone stole his personality-now someone has stolen his identity.

Back to the number of clicks for my free iPod? My adblocker software wouldn't let me access some of the sites, so there goes my free stuff.

I didn't talk about bikes at all today...........Sorry.

Till later.

Choppers............

A friend of mine took a ride on my chopper last weekend. He liked the damn thing so much, he is going to build his own. He is going to use mine for some of the measurements. I'm going to let him borrow it for inspiration.

Greg is like one of those guys you see on one of Discovery Channels hot rodder shows- he has all the skills to pay the bills. He is the foreman of a local machine shop and has lots of experience bending and welding steel tubing.

I am going to try and get him to take pics of it as he builds it and post them here on the site. One thing's for sure........it will be totally bad ass.

The whole chopper thing is kinda hard to explain, it's sorta like riding a singlespeed only it's more fun when people point and stare. I've been stopped more times in the past couple of months by people just wanting to check my chopper out.

I am going to make a list on my sidebar about podcasts that I like, just have to get aroud to it. I am really into them, all kinds of stuff to listen to-you name your interest and I'm pretty sure there is someone out there doing a podcast about it. I used to listen to the radio at work all the time, now it's 100% podcasts.

Going for a hike later today, I hope to have some pics................

Till later.

Shiny Floors..........

Remember a few months back when Wal-Mart got in a whole bunch of trouble for using illegal aliens to do all their janitorial work? We use the same company and about every other month a whole crew of Russian speaking old men come into our store to strip and wax the floors.

I always enjoy watching them because none of them speak a lick of English so whenever a customer walks on their freshly waxed floor, the Russian guys start talking in whatever language they are using but no one understands what they are saying. End result? A long track of footprints in the freshly waxed floor.

Saw this on drunkcyclist.com.............. SUV City. Not sure why people chosse to drive those huge-ass vehicles but I'm glad I don't own one. 10 to 12 miles per gallon is really gonna suck when gas is 3 or 4 bucks a gallon. My mini-van get about twice that and it still hauls 7 people with room to spare.



Till later..........

I hate country music.............

I took my wifes car to work last night because it needed filled up. The gas station I use has these speakers right next to the pump and whoever owns the station must be a big country music fan as the stuff is blaring at top volume at 3:30 AM.

I'm pretty open minded about most stuff but country music is about as worthless as teats on a boarhog. It's about girls, guys,dogs, travel and trucks. Not that there is anything wrong with any of those subjects-it's just that the folks singing it, sing it in a way that really seems to get under my skin. If you ever wanna piss me off-play country music near me.

On a brighter note, I am off this weekend and plan to ride as much as time permits. Gonna try and fit a solo ride in on Saturday and take some trail pics. I've tried to take pics on group rides but when you're one of the last guys up any hills-it's bad manners to make everyone wait even more while you shoot pics.

I wanna quit working at the donut ranch and get a job here. I've always wanted to be a consultant. Screw working.

One helluva way to go out.............

Till later.....

Get a life..........

I saw this article and had a good chuckle. People really need to get a life. Like my 11 year will be on the road to Hell if I drive by this place. Shit, I'd be more then happy to stop by and buy a cuppa.

Saw this on a fellow bloggers site. Good stuff.

Another fellow bike blogger has taken the time to interview quite a few builders. Check out some of his recent entries-it's a damn fine read if you're into bikes. If you ain't into bikes-read it anyways.........

Military Intelligence. .......Dear God.

Wow, this girl is a sweetie.

This really sucks. Or blows depending on your point of view.

Let me stick my neck out here...........I think this woman has suffered enough and already has paid her debt to society. Give her a dishonorable discharge and let's put it in the past.

This story gives new meaning to the phrase "I feel like shit today"

This is some nasty, nasty shit. If you have teenage kids-they should watch the video.

Think about this.............. This happened in Arkansas, how many people that were in the Wal-Mart parking at the time this happened were probably armed? Mr Redface is lucky he didn't get shot.

Words fail me on this link.

Could this actually happen? I sure hope not.

I work with knives, mixers, motorized dough sheeters and all kinds of stuff that can chop, crush, burn or maim fingers. Before I train anyone how to operate something-I show them how not to operate it.

Till later...........

What a week..............

Spent my week training a fellow associate to be a baker. I worked with the woman previously a couple of times and never really got to talk to her much.

When she was a teenager, she was involved in a serious automobile accident and nearly died. She was in a coma for several months. As a result of the accident, she has limited function on her right side and slurs her speech.

She mangaged to get married, have 2 children, her and her husband had a very successful business and just when it seemed that they had everything- they got divorced.

She managed to get in a bit a difficulty with some personal issues and pretty much hit rock bottom a couple of years ago. She is one tough lady- she has managed to put that all behind her and I have never seen someone work their ass off like she does. She has maybe 50% of her normal strength on her right side, so she has to adapt everything she does because of that. Makes ya look at things a little different sometimes....................

Had one of those great rides this weekend.You know-the kind that stick in your mind long after they are over. It was sweet.

I posted a social road ride on our clubs website and was kinda curious to see who showed up.

I am one of the slower guys in the club so whenever I post up a ride, most folks that are afriad of getting left behind or being last will usually show up because I just like to ride and don't get to concerned about being last.

I used to do almost all solo rides at one point, now I enjoy the comraderie of riding in a group. Even though I am one of the "slower" riders-it's still a whole lot of fun.

We rode some roads in southern York County that I have never been on before, just totally spectacular scenery. I would have liked to have brought a camera but being one of the last guys up most of the hills-I didn't want to hold the ride up anymore then what I was already!

On to other stuff.............

You guys see this? Bestiality is legal over there? Alrightly then.

I'm pretty proud of this. I haven't seen any of these shows. I don't think I am missing much.

This quote out of this article scares me......."What the Windows operating system has done for personal computers, Gates wants to do for cars." Excuse me while I go reboot my minivan. I shouldn't complain too much but the computer I am typing on has already had one catastropic hard drive crash.

I had the chance to buy a arcade "Asteriods" game back when I was working at a video arcade. That game and Defender were my favorite all-time wastes of time 25 years ago.


Oh, my aching ass.

This is a cool idea, I might be living in one of these someday if I don't stop buying bike stuff.

10 bucks for a bowl of soup? I don't think so. I think the Soup Nazi has a rectal-cranium inversion. I like good food but 10 bucks for 8 ounces of soup is a bit much.

I've read this Douglas Adams book, this review makes me afraid to go see the movie.

Till later..........

I want this bike. (click to make biggerer)
Nope, it's not a bicycle but I still like it. I used to ride motorcycles quite a bit before I met my wife, haven't been on one for a long time.

Here's why you'll never see my ugly face on the internet....................the internet is forever.

This is one guy that probably could win a one-legged ass kicking contest.

I think this is a good idea. Hell, they oughta make them paint their entire car pink.

This guy is A-Ok in my book.

This game is kind of addicting. Well, it's addicting up to the point it where it pisses you off and you wanna chuck a brick through the PC screen.

PULL UP when you hit the lip of the jump dumbass.................I snapped the headtube completely off a BMX bike when I was a kid doing dumb stuff like that.

This rider has got some class.

If I have any female readers.........this will probably piss you off........

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.

All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... wedding cake.

And just so things are a little even....................

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn'tknow where to start."
We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of Holy Communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys: cumin is a spice and not a bodily function)

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or football I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

Amen.

Saw this and thought it was funny..........

Essential additions for the work-place vocabulary.

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and peoples heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.

MOUSE POTATO. The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs. Single,Income,Two,Children,Oppressive,Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed-out and whiny.

XEROX SUBSIDY. Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded administrivia" needless paperwork and
processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found,"meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've
just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

WOOFies. Well Off Older Folk.

CROP DUSTING. Surreptitiously farting while passing through a CUBE FARM, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

Hmmm, lets see how many type font sizes I can use today.............

Till later.......

I'm PISSED...........

I inquired about the "Take Your Daughters and Sons To Work Day" last night as I was planning on taking our 11 year old to work with me. Our company doesn't support the program at "store level" Which means you can only bring your kid to work if you work in the corporate office.

That seems fair to me.................NOT. It's not like I am a brain surgeon or something where if I'm distracted somebody might die...........I make DONUTS for God sakes. Unless our son went bobbing for apples in the donut fryer, I don't see how he could get hurt. Whatever...............

Had a great ride with our club last night, had about 25 or 30 folks show up. We split up into a couple of groups according to skill level-I helped out with the "B" ride. First time out this year with the single speed- went better then I thought- I thought for sure I wouldn't be able to walk when I went to work last night. One of these days, I'm going to bring the camera along on a ride and take some pics of our local trails.

Somebody e-mailed me and lit my ass up about the picture of the mentally challenged boy in the pic I posted yesterday................get a life, okay? I'm pretty sure no one is forcing you at gunpoint to click on my site. Arguing on the internet or anywhere else for that matter is usually just a waste of time..........which was the point of the picture.

Today's pic won't make fun of mentally challenged people...................

Let's make fun of woman drivers instead.

Let's not make too much fun though, our daughter will be getting her beginner's permit next week.

I'm sorry, but is this guy forking stupid or what? Hell, I'd stay home and collect a paycheck. No problem.

This is some scary shit. I sure hope my kids don't freeze my ass when I go teats up.

My wife went through hell with our second childs pregnancy but there ain't no way in hell would I have let her tie a sting to the boys................


Hats off to this kid.
Somebody at Warner Bros. must be huffing crystal meth.

Think the the next Star Wars movie is gonna suck? I think the last 2 or 3 sucked.


I have to get me one of these. I just love hitting dog turds with my lawnmower.

Till later..............

How much is too much????

Here's an interesting article. Now, if I had lots of money to throw around, would I buy one of those cars? Hell yes I would. Would I be driving it 30,000 miles a year? No-probably 4 or 5 thousand miles, so its effect on the envoirnment would be minimal.


Buy it here.

All I can say about this is I'm glad I didn't go to school with this kid. Damn. SFW video on a NSFW website.

A conference of very strange people.............

We don't have any dogs. Even if we did, I wouldn't let them lick my face because dogs lick their own balls. .........lucky.

Maybe the kid was being a real monster but handcuffs? That's f**ked up.

American cars are pieces of crap? Naw.......After replacing the tranaxle on my Plymouth Voyager last year (less then a year out of warranty) I'll never buy another "American" vehicle.

16 DUI's????? Why the hell wasn't this guy in jail?



Till later..........

Free food........

I saw this article and felt bad for Wendys. Instead of a free Frosty-how come they don't give out some free chili?

Where I work, we give out samples of different sale items for our customers to try throughout the day, when I come to work, I typically pull all the sample baskets off of the counter. I don't do it because I'm a mean bastard-I do it because some of our customers are pigs and I don't have time to keep all the baskets full of stuff.

There is no reason why someone should take 6 or 7 (or more) cookies.......if you know where I work and you see me and you're hungry........just ask me for something to eat and I'll hook you up. I do love giving kids tons of cookies and donut holes whenever they ask-ya gotta have something to look forward to when your parents drag you shopping.

I've been reading alot about DRM lately.

I hope this guy whups their asses. I know it's in France but hopefully Microsoft will grow a set of balls and introduce software for their media player that will allow you to make a copy of any movie you purchase for a back up. You can do it with music CD's, why not movies?

How cool is this? That was something a high school friend and I where going to do the summer we graduated from high school. Unfortunately he was killed in an accident in our senior year but someday I'm gonna make a trip like that and dedicate it to Scottie. I think it's neat that the guy in the article is 60 years old and following his dream..........

Over the weekend our daughter dropped her watch down the bathroom sink drain. I have a spiffy little tool that retrieved it but the elbow was damaged in the process. Didn't discover the damaged elbow until I poured about a gallon of water down the sink. Oops. Guess I get to play plumber. That oughta be interested.

A buddy of mine is having a 6 hour stress test today because they found an anomaly with his heart on his regular check up.His pop passed away at an early age from heart problems. Good luck bro. Not sure what my family history is, I know my grandfather on my dad's side was about 88 the last anyone heard from him and his sister (my great Aunt Helen) is 85. Aunt Helen has lived a very clean life, my grandfather on the other hand was your typical Irish hellraiser.............

I like cats but damn.......... are they ever stupid or what?

I like this idea. The street we live on has the same problem at times. I'd like it if they put some speed bumps in to slow the traffic down. Or maybe spike strips.

Remember the professor I blogged about a couple days ago having his laptop stolen? He was telling a few fibs. Still a shame he had his stuff swiped though.

I suppose one of the reasons I don't like rap music is that I can't understand what the hell any of the artists are saying.

Yeah, like I'm gonna name one of my kids "G-Unit".

I wonder how many of these asshat protesters drove to the protest in SUV's????


Doggie style............

I have to have one of these............

Hey, how come Jesus looks like a white guy?

Holy shit, Delay scares me.

This guy is an asshole. I'm proud to live in the same state with him. Oh yeah.

Sorry about no "bike stuff" in this post..........

Till later.

Just shut me up............

Yeah, yeah..........Just shut me up about podcasting already.

Anyone here remember or know who Jean Sheperd was? There is this awesome podcast with quite a few of his old WOR recordings on it. Here is the link of the RSS feed you can plug into iPodder to download the feeds. If you've never listened to him-do yourself a favor and listen to a couple of his shows.

He was a master storyteller.

Somebody emailed me and thought I should be talking more about bikes. I happen to know this person and all I can say is...........bite me.

Bite me in a nice way though, ya know? Sorry I don't spend a shitload of time writing about bikes-I'll try to do better. So many other bloggers (check my "links" section) do such a great job writing about their experiences riding, I thought I would put up content that's a little different.

Checked out the weather forecast for the weekend and it is shit. I'm glad I signed up for overtime.

The only bad thing is that the kid's ride our club had scheduled is likely to be cancelled. If there is one kind of ride our club does that I totally enjoy-it's riding with kids.

Most of the kids in our area probably are not allowed out of their parents sight, so when Mom or Dad come out to a kid's ride with their kids- the kids totally love being out in the woods. No cars and you are allowed to get dirty.

How cool is that when you're 10 years old?

I always bring a huge box of assorted donuts for the kids, their parents and the ride leaders to eat after the ride so nobody goes home hungry.

Mmmmm ................donuts.

Till later.

Use the pink smoke next time.............

I was listening to the Catholic Insider last night when Father Roderick(the host of the podcast) was at the Vatican right before they elected the new Pope. Everyone was having a hard time telling what was white smoke or black smoke.

I thought maybe next time they elect a Pope-they use pink smoke when the elect the next Pope and green smoke when they can't make their minds up. Or maybe they could use a flare gun............or not.

One thing I have discovered since I've been listening to podcasts is that commercial radio sucks.

Nice. They still suck.

I haven't seen this show for quite awhile. Gosh, it would be a shame if it was rigged, huh? Add sarcasm here.

The American Meat Intsitute is pissed. I'm kinda worried because I love hot dogs.

This is today's "Oh That's Just Nasty" link...........

Sure, the Pope really gives a shit what the Baptists think.

Looks like a crack to me. I guess I shouldn't worry about needing any warm clothing when I die, huh?

This commercial is awesome. I suppose that's why sneakers are so damn expensive.

If I was this kid, I'd be scared shitless. I'd also give the computer back.

You might be a redneck if.............

This dog can kick your ass. Wow, that sure is one focused dog. Sure hate to run into that dog unleashed when I'm out mountain biking.

Till later..........

How to wax your ass............

How To Do Stuff is a really good podcast. It's a husband and wife and one of the funniest episodes I've downloaded is the one where the wife uses bikini wax to pull all the hair off of her husband's ass. If the guys screaming was any indication of how badly it hurt-I couldn't imagine having my pubes done.


No reason for the pic, I saw it on a fellow bloggers site and liked it.

You wanna see some bizarre automobiles? I thought the Tempo I used to own was ugly.................

Catholic Spring Break. Oh, by the way.......don't click that if you're Catholic. Definitely don't click this one either. This one will send you over the edge if you're Catholic, so don't click on it for sure.

Anybody that reads this blog interested in doing this? I think it's a good idea.

Haven't had time to post much lately mainly because I've been lazy. I will be training a newly promoted co-worker next week and I doubt I'll be posting much next week either.

I'm married. Quite happily in fact. If I was single..........Wal-Mart would be the last forkin' place I would look for a date. I'm not dropping my card into anyone's box.

Penis roller coaster. Go ahead and click on it, it's safe for work. Honest. Penis Wheelbarrow. Also safe for work. No, honest-it's okay........my 17 year old daughter reads this.

Oh yeah, I'm feeling a whole lot better about being a fat bastard now.

I spent a summer surfing and hanging out at the Jersey shore when I was a kid. If this would have happened to me...............I'm pretty sure I would have been too scared to try my luck a second time.

New bike stuff. I like this website because I like that style of riding but about 99% is beyond my capabilities. My fav bike of the article-the quad racing chair for paraplegics. That thing is cool and you just gotta have a set to strap on something like that and ride it down a downhill course.


Gotta go..........till later.

Hamilton suspended......

Wow.

I really want to hear his side of the story but it sure is a large disappointment. If the guy was cheating all along (and it sure looks like he was) I wonder what the hell he was thinking by dragging this whole thing out for so long.

I'm sure that everybody has seen the announcement that Armstrong is retiring. Like him or not-he certainly raised awareness of cycling here in the USA. And won the Tour 6 times..........so far:-)

I remember all these games. I used to have a part time job in an arcade and got to play them all for free after closing time.

I just a bought a poker game for our computer so our 11 year and I can play Texas Hold'em. Don't know how my son is doing but I suck really bad. At least real money isn't involved.

Went for the first ride of the year on my single speed yesterday. Oh my God, do my knees ever feel the pain. Pretty sure it isn't going to stop me-the thing is just too much damn fun. No front suspension- it handles like a big overgrown BMX bike. I pulled an x-up coming out of a roller-felt like a little kid. Couldn't believe that I didn't crash.

Our club has their beginner rides on Monday's now- kinda bummed because I'm going to miss about 90% of them. It's the only time I can keep up with the entire group and still hold a conversation at the same time.

This is a cool card trick. SFW video on a NSFW website. I'm still trying to figure out how the hell he did that. I used to own a trick deck of cards but I could only do 2 sets of different cards.



That's all for today-till later..........