Monday, May 12, 2008

I hate it when that happens..........

Before I tell you about my latest adrenaline rush........how was everyone's Mother's Day?

I'm a pretty lucky guy, I have a great mom, a great mother-in-law and a great wife who also happens to be a great mom and a great daughter who I'm sure will be a great mom someday.

Seeing a trend here?

I'm a lucky guy and don't think I don't know it. My son and I are surrounded by some pretty fabulous women.

My mom is going into the hospital next week to get the first of two operations to replace her knees...I'm on vacation next week, so I'll be able to keep her company while she's in the hospital for 3 or 4 days plus help her around the house after she gets home.

I'm sure my wife, our daughter and my mother-in-law will also be around quite a bit, so I don't think she'll go without company for very long....she'll be in pretty good hands.

.......my latest "crap my pants moment"....on the way home from work this morning in the driving rain-I ran over someones bumper that was laying in the middle of the highway. Couldn't avoid it because traffic was right next to me, it sounded like a ran over a crate of bowling balls.

I'm just glad I was driving my 9 year old minivan and not my wife's new car or our daughter car.

I'd seriously consider one of these. Hardly any of my trips are more than 10 miles in length.

I listened to Valerie Plame's book Fair Game last night at work......it's an okay book, one thing's for sure though....Karl Rove, Libby and all their co-horts are douchebags for outing her.

I'm thinking these two cops are gonna be piloting desks for quite awhile.

Nothing like starting early.....

I'm almost okay with this.

Bill O'Reilly drops the F bomb......fair and balanced. NSFW

Weekly World News has the latest news about computer viruses.....someone out there probably believes this.

Nine out of ten doctors can't be wrong.

Slightly off-color joke.......
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.'


The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him..

The big guy says: 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude says: 'I saw your look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks.

I'm 7 feet tall. I weigh 350 pounds. I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'


The small guy says: 'Turner Brown.


Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around.'

Till later....

No comments: