Friday, January 23, 2009

Ever have one of those days.....

Like I always say....I just make donuts for a living but some nights are more fun than others.

Last night was one of "those" nights.....

My job isn't really all that difficult, if you can juggle a bowling ball, a running chainsaw and an'll do just fine.

Seriously though, it does get a little crazy when I'm making donuts, trying to keep two commercial sized ovens full of product, answer the phone and wait on customers.

So, last night some goober came in at around 1 AM and stated....."Hey pal, where are all your damn sugar cookies? This is the 3rd store I've been in tonight and none of you guys have any.


What did I say to this mouth breathing hillbilly?

I wanted to stick my foot up his ass, but I replied "I guess we are all out, sorry."

Maybe if the guy asked nice I mighta looked in our freezer for the ones we make ahead...

...sometimes it doesn't pay to be an asshole.

Finishing up a client's computer....has to be the world record for malicious files. I found trojans, viruses, worms, name it-it was in there. Thousands of nasty files...someone in the family is a serious pirate.

I was this close to calling them up and suggesting a format....I hate to take the nuclear option but if you miss one malicious file...the whole thing can start over anew.

Fun times for sure.

My friend Ted sent me this...I signed up, beats the hell out of doing nothing.

This guy really needs to put his head up is ass...that way no one could hear him when he speaks.

I think these guys (ahem)....nailed it.

A letter from a shelter manager.

My friend Ed sent me this.....

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, “Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend’s office wearing a leather coat.

When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels.

He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!”

The engaged woman giggled and said, “That’s pretty much my story!

When my fiance got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!”

The married woman put her glass down and said, “I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma’s. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume.

I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled,

‘Hey, Batman, what’s for dinner?’”

Me? I ain't that dumb.

Comments.....make sure they have proper punctuation and spelling.

If I eat 455 lbs of Breyers Coffee ice cream.....I'll be dead.

Who's smarter....cats or humans?

My sister-in-law had one of these and drove it through several Cleveland could kneel down next to it and listen to it rust.

I'm not saying one side is right or the other side is right, but one thing's for sure....this ain't never gonna be over.

till later.

No comments: