Shoulda, coulda, woulda.....

Nah, I didn't finish my taxes yet.

It's not that I haven't started them...I just lost interest.....I was gonna go for a bike ride but as soon I rolled down the street-it started raining. That made me sad, so I had a bowl of ice cream and watched some TV.

Here's a joke about why men rule......

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. You know stuff about rifles, tanks, motorcycles, and airplanes.

3. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

4. You can open your own jars.

5. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

6. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

7. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.

8. You can leave the motel bed unmade.

9. You can kill your own food.

10. You get extra credit for the slightest of thoughtfulness.

11. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

12. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

13. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

14. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

15. Everything on your face stays its original color.

16. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

17. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

18. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

19. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

20. Same work...more pay.

21. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

22. Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo rental: $75 23. You don't mooch off others desserts.

24. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

25. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might just become lifelong friends.

26. Your pals can be trusted to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"

27. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

28. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

29. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

30. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

31. You don't have to shave below your neck.

32. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

33. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

34. You can "do" your nails with a buck knife.

35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

36. All your Christmas shopping in 45 minutes on December 24th.

....now that I've ticked off all my female readers- I really don't believe all of the above.

I love reading news stories like this one. Our old next door neighbor was a gunnery sargent in the Marines in WW2....some of his stories were pretty darn amazing....he was one badass dude back in the 40's

I already have a high forehead...this would make it worse. How damn stupid would you look with something like that?

I broke out my old Wal-Mart camera and took some pictures at work......


This is a picture of the PA speaker that is right above my head when I am making donuts.....notice the styrofoam cake circle that is glued to it.....


I make really good pies as well. This one is a caramel cinnamon apple pie with apricot glaze. Our daughter made a pie very similar to this one when she was home on Easter break.....mine tastes pretty good, but hers was better.

I did CPR on someone once.....like my Red Cross instructor said-don't worry about screwing it up, the person is already dead. The person did survive for several months before she passed away. I had mixed feelings about the whole thing until a family member thanked me for giving them a chance to say goodbye to their daughter....at any rate-go learn CPR.

Hey look........penguins actually fly.

April Fools :-)

till later

YouTube - Monkey riding motorcycle

Maybe this monkey will help me do my taxes

YouTube - Monkey riding motorcycle

YouTube - Smart dog

Go do my taxes...........

YouTube - Smart dog

Tax time........

Today's the day to start my taxes....since I'm the master of procrastination-I'll probably get started and decide to finish them next week. Looks like it's gonna be a nice morning for a bike ride.

Bike ride or taxes?Hmmmm I'll let you decide which one wins out.

I suppose this is why 43 only makes public appearances at military bases.

Another outstanding resident of Pennsyltucky.

Today's science break.....sometimes science can be kinda silly.

Tragic satellite TV installation. Seriously, how damn dumb can people be?.....wait, lets not find out.

till later.

Good as new.....

I got my van back from the body shop this week....it's looks just like it did before I rearended someone. I'm not sure how the guy matched 8 year old paint but I can't tell the difference between the old paint and the new paint.

I've spent most of this week.........sleeping. Not sure what's going on, maybe I ate a sleep tapeworm or something but anything less then 10 full hours of sleep and I am cranky as all get out.

This is the best 5 minute movie ever....well maybe not ever, but it's still pretty good.



I don't think she is gonna give it up.

till later.

Damn......I did another Rip Van Winkle.

Whenever I have 2 0r 3 evenings off from work, it takes me a shift or two to adjust to "normal" ...yesterday I slept 12 hours straight except for when I woke up and the cat was 2 inches from my face staring at me.

You have to wonder what's going through a cat's mind as it is walking around. Dogs are easy to figure out-they are either happy, sleeping, pooing, barking or eating.

If I was getting shot at-I don't think I'd "mis-remember" because I was tired.

Cough *liar* cough..... Sure hope she doesn't have to answer any 3 AM phone calls...she might be tired.

Smells like recession to me.

The food is never as good as the picture.

Donut cake. I've made a few of these....they are very popular with kids and sugar junkies.

Today's science break......unless you don't believe in evolution.

What does a 50 pound rabbit eat? Everything.

Can't get your head around the credit crisis? It's explained here in cartoon form.

till later.

I'm stuffed.......

We always have Easter brunch at my in-laws.......not sure why I do this-but I always eat too much food. I suppose the problem is that my wife makes these awesome cheese grits (they are "slap your mama" good) and everyone else in the family brings stuff as well.

I just have to try all my favorites.....

Sure ain't one heck of a lot of good news in the media today......did the media purposely report as much crappy news as possible on Easter weekend?

I read the blogs I have on my sidebar to cheer me up.....it's really great to see all the folks gettin' out there for a ride pumping all that blood.....

Indeed.

Howsabout this?

Saw the above Youtube video on VelociPete's blog.

Wow.

Cigarettes, country fried bacon and 2 pound steaks.....I did kinda like the look of the onion rings though.

4000......lots of war blogs out there-this guy's blog is one of the best.

Been watching the "Will it Blend" videos on my iPod Touch. Yummy. Not sure where I heard it, but I heard that the blender featured in the commercials basically has the same type of electric motor that is fitted to electric lawn mowers.

Our daughter spent a good bit of Easter Sunday showing all the relatives her Italy pics....all 584 of them.

I didn't get a chance to ask her if it was okay to share them....so this is all you get for now.

till later.

Happy Easter............

Hope everyone has a great weekend, I'm out until next week...

till later.

Mr Winky........

Last night I was cleaning up our donut display case when I heard the following conversation come from the couple right around the corner looking at condoms. (These folks had no idea I was less than 6 feet away)

Him-Soooo, would you like to see Mr. Winky tonight?

Her-Yeah, sure but he hurt me the last time, so howsabout some lube?

Him-Okay, Mr Winky will go along with that.

Right about this time I dropped the bottle of window cleaner I was holding and it rolled around the corner.....and stopped right at the feet of the "Mr.Winky" ...I glad I didn't get to hear any more about Mr Winky....I woulda laughed out loud.

The more I learn about this guy...the more I like him. It's refreshing to have a politician be honest and up front about his personal life. The fact that the guy has one wicked sense of humor helps as well.

It hardly seems like it should be Easter.....I know I might sound like Andy Rooney....but didn't we just have St. Patricks Day? Why is Easter so early this year? I'm sure that some major religion is in charge of how it's scheduled.

I know that Jesus died on Good Friday....how come Good Friday is a different week each year?

When Jesus comes rolling back into town-he ain't gonna know what day of the week it is, we keep changing stuff around on him....he's gonna be pissed off enough when he sees how we are treating each other-no reason to make him more angry.

Only 11 more months. I listened to several hours of this testimony....how did we get things so damn wrong?

I'm not the smartest guy out there writing a blog.......but I think she's hiding something.

You gotta be kidding me......2 fine residents of Florida. Dad must be oh-so-proud.

till later.

Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama

You gotta be kidding me.

Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama

House of cards.....

I've said it a bazillion times before...I ain't the smartest guy in the world, but this whole situation just seems like a big ole house of cards.

Just a big game of rob Peter to pay Paul.

Didn't the Great Depression start something like this?

I'm thinking the poo is starting to hit the fan.

till later.

Just because you can speak English doesn't mean you can spell it.

Spell check, anyone?

Bad joke time....

An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

The old woman responded, "Damn it, he's peeing in the fridge again.

...told you it was a bad joke.

This one's worse....

What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?

A tourist.

See?

I could do this all day.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

If you drink lots of green beer today-call a cab.

Till later.

I'm Irish for real....

How ya like the blinding green color? No worries, I'll switch it back to something easier on the eyes on Tuesday.

I like St Patrick's Day....I get to make green donuts.

till later.

Top Chef........

Top Chef is probably one of my favorite TV shows of all time. I kinda wish they had a show called Top Baker.....I'd kick some serious ass if they did.

My company did have a contest every year for the top donut production person but I won it 4 times out of 5 years and they stopped doing it....or maybe they still do it and don't tell me about it.

All I know is that I was pissed the one year I didn't win it.

Bravo just started up a new season of TC and my wife and I enjoy the heck out of it. The best chefs on that show are cooking at such a high level that it blows my mind.

I know that when I train people to learn how to bake-they either get it right away or it takes them a week or two to realize that they ain't "got it".

What's "it"?....

The ability to do one thing while keeping track of 6 other things and having everything bake, proof, fry the way it's supposed to without burning, over or under proofing anything and hand finish all your production so it looks like it's ready for a magazine shoot every day...shift after shift.

The funny thing is that I am pretty good doing all that, but I am an absolute klutz when it come to doing stuff around the house. I don't own any power tools because if I did.....I woulda sawed off most of my fingers by now.

I can turn a light bulb replacement into a trip to the emergency room ....no problem. I'm amazed I haven't mowed off any of my toes with the lawn mower.

Yet.

That's just nasty.....

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years

What was he thinking...........

More importantly....how could he do that to his wife and children? Yeah, I know it happens all the time but still....maybe something good will come out of the whole situation.

Our son is no dummy......

His girlfriend is on the school softball team, so in what I consider a genius move on his part.....he volunteered to be the manager of the softball team.

When I was a kid, I never really did the sports thing in high school....I specialized in bicycle destruction.

Watching girls play softball probably woulda been more fun......

“What’s Your Poo Telling You?” Go ahead and click the link...it's actually a fairly interesting video.

You will not pass this test.

Meet your congressmen.

When this guy dies....he ain't gonna need a jacket....it'll be plenty warm enough where he's headed.

If you're old enough to serve your country in the armed forces...you oughta be able to have a beer. Not in the service? Wait until you're 21.

A trillion here, a trillion there.....that soon adds up to real money.

till later.

Picture of my oops.

$2300 worth of oops.

Doesn't look to bad from the outside, but I pushed the radiator support 4 inches in...almost hit the engine, destroyed the radiator, the air conditioning condenser and the electric fan.

Not good.

There's some truth to this.

I sure hope my friends in Oklahoma have a sense of humor.....I'm talking to you Ed.

Little head thinking for the big head.....didn't work out very well.

Crappiest restaurant ever.

till later.

Like the title says...........

I managed to fit donuts and bike riding in all in the same day.

The club I belong to had a crit style ride yesterday and other than it being a little breezy.....I had a great time. I did two laps of the course and then walked around the park where we started from while the other guys did some more laps.

I brought a couple dozen donuts for the guys to munch on and one of the other riders brought a thermos of coffee.

Yum.

Of course, from not riding....I am pretty much starting from ground zero on the fitness front, but the good news is-there's only one way to go when you start from the bottom.

Our daughter has safely returned from Italy and from what my wife said...she had a great time and took over 500 pictures.

Awesome.

Improv Everywhere at the food court. Pretty cool, except where the girl sits on the counter and the guys stands on the counter.

Yuck.

till later.

Very cool story

His cup runneth over: a warrior's thanks

This dude.........

This guy needs to be Obama's V.P. (click the listen now button)

I'm not.......

I'm not always the smartest guy in the room, but I think all the political wonks are way overthinking this election stuff.

Our choices so far are gonna be for a black dude with not a whole lot of experience, a woman that will do anything to get elected or a crazy old white guy.

I'm not making fun........

Well, maybe a little...but some folks sure are gullible.

She's stopping isn't she?

Well I've ended my 26 year streak of no accidents.....I sorta wasn't paying attention yesterday and rear-ended someone. No airbags or anything, I put a hole in the other persons bumper and pushed my grill into the radiator.

That'll teach me to pay better attention. We just switched insurance companies at the beginning of the year...I'm sure our rates will go through the roof. I'm just glad no one was injured-sheetmetal can be replaced.

My son sent me the following video....

Pretty neat, huh?

One of the folks that read my blog asked me to list a few of my favorite podcasts......here's my top twenty in no particular order. Links will go directly to the RSS feed.

-Keith and the Girl (mature)

-60 Minutes

-Autoblog

-Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase

-Bikescape

-Buzz Out Loud

-Democracy Now

-Extreme Tech

-Geek Method (adult language)

-Left, Right and Center

-Martini Shot

-The Business

-Living in Las Vegas

-Car Talk

-Science Friday

-PCMag Radio

-Real Time with Bill Maher

-Slate Magazine

-The Fredcast

-This American Life

-This Week in Tech

-Please Explain

Some of them are fairly self explanatory...others? You'll just have to put the link in your podcatcher and take a listen.

Last American WW1 survivor.

This is controversial....my opinion? I think the cert is a good idea.

I wonder what people in other countries think about the USA when they read articles like this.

This shower is just like a carwash.

These kids are the future of our country. I'm kidding of course....actually, they'll mostly end up in jail, pregnant at 16 or asking you if you want fries with that. The parents of those kids need a foot up their ass.

till later.

I suck at HTML...

I added a couple of blogs yesterday and somehow I forgot to put in a set of parenthesis.....result-linkie no workie. I fixed it.

I think.

Gotta thank my friend Val for sending me the pic below....click to biggerify.



The original title of the picture was "Redneck Mansion" That's just daring a tornado to come rolling through your property.

Hopefully if things work out this Sunday-I'll be headed out for my first group ride of the year. Another member of the bicycle club I belong to is planning a criterium style ride. Works well for me, maybe the other guys can see how many times they can pass me in an hour. My secret weapon is that I'm going to bring donuts and hopefully all the other riders will eat a few before they head out.

This guy certainly got his sphincter tightened up a few notches.

I wanna be like this guy. He looks pretty darn good for his age, doesn't he?

One of my favorite bloggers is current writing about her latest mountain bike race. She lives in Alaska and I just know someday she is gonna be famous. Actually, I think she is my favorite blogger. Her writing is simply incredible.....

Our daughter got to see the Pope yesterday. I think when she wrote my wife and said she saw him....it wasn't up close and personal, but still-that's pretty darn cool.

Till later.

Any more????

I've added a few links to my sidebar, I have to find some time to sit down and add some more.....like I said before, if you would like me to link your site, just drop a line in the comments section.

Looks like Hilary Clinton will be in the race for a few more weeks until the inevitable happens. She won fair and square, but I'd sure like to see her lose in my state (PA) when they hold the primary. Since I'm a registered Libertarian...I'm not gonna be able to help Barack out.

Quite honestly.....this is bullshit. My wife and I have been busting our asses for the past 17 years paying off our mortgage. Where do we sign up for the mortgage forgiveness program? Let the economy work the way it's supposed to work. If you can't pay your mortgage...get a second and third job or sell at a loss and live in a mobile home for awhile if that's what it takes.

Yeah, I know I sound like a total hardass, but unless your house gets destroyed by a hurricane or a tornado or some other natural disaster....the federal government should stay out of the housing market. Not being able (or willing) to pay your bills isn't a federal disaster.

I listened to a podcast called bikescape last night at work. Jon Winston interviewed a rider that's riding around the world. How darn cool is that? Someday I'd like to do a 2 or 3 week ride where they have a sag wagon but 3 years on the bike just blows my mind. I've just started following his travels...it's gonna take me a few days to catch up reading his journal.

8000 thousand dollars a gallon. I have lots of pictures stored on line and backed-up on a portable hard drive....I'd have to be rich to afford printing them all out.

Paula Deen really is trying to kill us.....having said that-it looks kinda tasty.

It's almost 60 degrees as I type this........surf's up.

till later.

Links.....

I haven't redone my "links" section for quite a while.....if anyone that reads the drivel I post here and wants a link that doesn't have one....please leave a comment, I'd be more than happy to hook you up.

Gotta say, I'm pretty much being over being sick, but damn...I have absolutely no energy. Not sure what the hell I had but it sure kicked my butt. Over the past 4 days I was probably awake for a total of 12 hours. I did have some really weird dreams, but I'll save that for some other time.

Going back to work last night pretty much sucked hind teat- I coulda layed down on the floor at the 4 hour mark and took a nap.

Getting older sucks.

till later

I found me.......

I found me a fun site to play around with.....



till later.

Safe in Italy

Our daughter (and her luggage) have arrived safe and tired in Italy.

Me?

I just finished an 8 hr nap.....I feel better.

Saw the following video on YouTube.....



I guess Bill is voting for Obama.

Mom of the year.

Kind of weird looking, but it's still pretty neat science.

Wheel of Fortune sure has changed.....

An Irish joke....

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I drinks one for each o' me brothers and one for me self."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," He explains, "It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. 'Hasn't affected me brothers a bit though"

I don't drink much beer, but it works for me.

till later.