My wife and I had a great visit with our daughter on Wednesday.
She's going to Italy next week on spring break and we went up to drop off her Euros and took her shopping for last minute supplies. Being the frugal and smart shopper our daughter is, it's fun to able to take her out so she can get stuff she wouldn't normally buy with her own money.
My wife took me out on some errands yesterday, one of the places we stopped at was Food Lion.
The best part about Food Lion is that they have a "Meat Snack Center". You can't miss it, it has a sign and everything. Most of the Food lions are in the south, so us being north of the Mason-Dixon line get to see what southerners eat.
Evidently, y'all like your meat snacks a whole lot......
One of my friends sent me this 3 minute management course.....
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When
she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the
next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say
anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Management lesson: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her
habit to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he
let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
weak ." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at
the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
seek, further up, you will find glory."
Management lesson: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." Me first! Me first!"says
the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales
rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff!
He's gone."OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Management lesson: Always let your boss have the first say.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle
answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
Management lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." Well,
why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're
packed with nutrients. "The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management lesson: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. Not everyone
who gets you out of shit is your friend. And when you're in deep shit, it's
best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the 3-minute management course.
Gotta thank Hank for that one.
...I've learned a couple of those lessons.