Sunday, October 16, 2005

Rip Van Winkle.........

I didn't get much sleep Friday and made up for it Saturday by sleeping 12 1/2 hours. Not 12 1/2 hours of sleep where you get up a couple times, 12 1/2 hours of "dead to the world" sleep. When I woke up, I thought the clock was wrong, I couldn't believe I slept that long.

I guess I'm all caught up now...............

My mom made me a very cool birthday card this year. She scanned some old photos of me into it........

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That's me in 1968. Dig those apehanger handlebars. I'm pretty sure that's the bike I broke the head tube off of by jumping over gravel piles. I was hard on bikes when I was a kid.
Still am.

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That's me and my dog Charlie in 1965.

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Another shot of me with my dog. Don't mess with me. I sure look pissed off about something, don't I?

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That's my first car. Dig those socks.

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Here's me and my second car. I beat the living shit out of this car. It had a 302 in at and it went like a bat outta hell.

Wow. Is this poor guy OCD or what?

I love practical jokes.........

I was an only child, unlike this family. Holy shit. 16 kids? From the article, it sounds like they can afford them and all but 16 and they want more? Pretty soon they will be able to have their own zip code. Whatever, just as long as they don't end up like this.............

Middle management terrorism.

This guy gets around. But not as much as this guy.

A joke..........

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange.

The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream."

"No shit?" says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.

"Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes."

"Keep going!"

I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, "You now have three wishes."

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger."

She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"

"What next?" begged the bartender.

I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours!

Afterwords, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"

I looked at her and replied, "How 'bout a little head?"

Holy Mother of God, this is funny............

With that, I think I'll go hit the sack for a few z's

Til later.

1 comment:

Lunatic Biker said...

Nice pictures. I had a similar bike. 12 1/2 hours of sleep! You're the insomniac's hero.