Thursday, January 26, 2006

Chew your food............

Last night as I was eating a turkey sandwich, I must have gotten a peice of turkey lodged in my esophagus. I didn't really feel anything, but when I went to take a drink of was like overfilling a sport bottle. It all came back out and down the front of my shirt.

I could breathe fine, just couldn't swallow anything.

This alarmed me.

After I got the situation resolved, I had an extremely sore throat. Luckily I wasn't training anyone at work last night or I woulda had a very difficult time talking to them.

My friend Mark stopped by work and dropped off a floppy drive for me (Thanks Mark!) and I wanted to chat some but I could feel my throat starting to close up.

Moral of the story.........chew your food. I usually eat like a caveman but I know I chewed my food this time.

If I wake up dead from choking...........that would be a bad thing.

I think I am going to eat nothing but oatmeal and a few P-nut M&M's for dinner when I come home in the morning. It's healthier then having a couple of sandwiches, cookies or whatever else is in the fridge I can scrounge up.

I am determined to get back in really good shape by May.

............even if it hurts. And I'm sure it will.

I really like this page. I used to own a VW and my dream was to turn it into one of those Meyers-Manx dune buggys. Gave the Dub to my parents and bought a Maverick. Check out the links at the bottom of the page as well, there are some great pics of what Cali used to look like.

This guy lives in the Netherlands and has a very interesting podcast. It's not for everyone, but he interviewed an American GI about to go over to Afganistan. Very interesting. Totally disputes what this guy is spewing.

It'll take you a little while to get through the whole list but it proves one thing. Just because you have money doesn't mean you know how to spend it.

Today's science break. I know I am very absent minded and can be somewhat "spaced out" (my wife calls me Mr Oblivious) but that guy is way worse then I am. I'm sure glad science learned something from the poor guy.

Yet another off-color joke..........

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you.

"Yes," she says, I remember it well.

"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake.

"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes!

She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life.

This is the most athletic sex imaginable.

Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, still watching thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is.

As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was something else. You must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."


I'm guessing this guy wouldn't do well on American Idol.

Thanks for readin'

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