Saturday, April 01, 2006

April Fools.........

I'm not one for April Fool's jokes, so this will be an April Fool's free edition of BRDG.........I'll leave the funny jokes for others.........

Did some errands on my Surly Friday afternoon, I'm glad I slapped a set of BMX pedals on it, it's so much easier to go in and out of stores wearing regular shoes instead of bike shoes. I think spring might finally be here because I saw all kinds of folks out on bikes yesterday.

This has gotta be the dumbest piece of sculpture of 2006. Britney Spears and her husband are Mr. and Mrs White Trash USA.

What? I can't hear you. iPods are loud? No shit. Damn lawyers..........

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Saw this on my friend's blog. A heart attack on a plate.

This was a mistake, but who the hell doesn't carry around at least some money? Who knows, I was behind some guy at the convenience store that charged a pack of cigarettes.

You have got to be joking.

Some good news. Sure is nice to see him home.

How much to spend? Mmmm, why is the government even stressing about this? Lets just borrow the money like we do for everything else and build it right this time.

A link with something to do about bicycles........The Bicycle Film Festival. Click this for all the info on the 2006 happenings.....Look like a good time to me.

If you are still using IE 6 and clicking links you come across in your e-mails.......this article or this one might make you switch over to Firefox at least until Microsoft fixes the problem.

I'm gonna break out the SS for a ride Sunday afternoon, the last time I rode it-I got it so covered in mud you couldn't tell what color it was. I hate to get it dirty again, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I'm not nearly fit enough to push a 32x18 up some of the climbs but there's something about only having one gear that makes it fun.

I hope to have some pictures of all the logging that has been done down at Lake Redman on my next post so keep an eye out late Sunday or Monday.

Yup, I'd say this has "personal injury lawsuit" written all over it.

I am not racist in any way, but sometimes and I said sometimes I believe black people walk around with a chip on their shoulder. From the way the story reads.......the officer was just doing his job. The way I see it-she's lucky she didn't get tasered.

I'm burned out reading about all the slimeballs in D.C. Is it just this administration? Nope, it's been going on for years and until they get rid of lobbyists entirely-it will continue to go on.

If two guys want to get married or two girls wanna get hitched.........whatever, I think it's just fine because it ain't none of my damn business. I wish the courts would worry about shit that matters to society as whole instead of trying to play God. Don't we have more important things to decide? Like frisking grandma at the airport.......

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Pencil holder, anyone?

On a semi-serious note...this fellow blogger takes killer photographs. I hesitate to simply call the "photographs" they are more like art. If you need to relax, go to his site for a 2 or 3 minute vacation and de-stress.

Smart ass answers..........

Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied,"No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,"Got stuck,huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Smart Ass Answer #1:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and uttersexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Indeed. I am fairly sure I am a professional smartass. Just ask me.

My mom reads this blog, she isn't going to get this link and I'm not gonna explain it to her.

It's that time of the year again. Sucks for me because I am at work when it happens. I still have the same amount of work to do, so I really lose an hour of my life.

Holy crap. I believe in dignity for everyone, but howsabout going on a freakin diet? There ain't no excuse for weighing 400 pounds.

I still need one of these if anybody has got any loose cash laying around.

Maybe I'll sell a kidney.

Till later.

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