Saturday, February 18, 2006

60 degrees outside........

......but not for long. Here in York Pa, it was a balmy 60 degrees Thursday afternoon. I coulda went for a bike ride, but I went for a nice long walk with my wife. I think most of the snow will be melted before it goes back down to 20 degrees this weekend. Oh, the joys of winter weather.

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Soon, it will be spring. Yay.

Today's art break.

Deep fried pizza......uuuurp.

How to make Garfield funny.

This looks like fun. I'd like to try it with school buses.

Ever wonder what happens to all the scissors, nail clippers and box cutters the government confiscates from you at the airport? Wonder no more. (Scroll down some on the page)

Muslim Man complaint box. A few F-bombs in the text.............

My boss is a scheduling wizard. I went to work the other night and found out she gave 3 of the 4 full timers in my department (including herself) off this weekend. Looks like I am running the show for the next 3 days. That oughta be interesting since I work 3rd shift and won't actually see any of the folks that work in the daytime.

Henry Rollins reads a book and gets into trouble. Like the article says, airport security is misguided.

I might own oceanside property soon.

Tasteless joke time........

Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man. The IRS guy assumed the other man was Ralph's attorney.

Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported employment income. How do you explain that?"

Ralph replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win."

The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.

"I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"

Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.

The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet.

Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.

The stunned official was now three grand in the hole

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and piss into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!

Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much peed all over the desk.

The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he noticed that Ralph's friend looked ashen and was visibly shaking.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd piss on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

The NASCAR season starts up this Sunday with the Daytona 500. I used to watch all the races but I find that I end up watching the 500 and a few short track events now, just don't have the time to watch that much TV.

My sister-in-law had one of these for a couple years. She drove it in a few Cleveland winters so there wasn't much left of the bodywork when she got rid of it. The bottom 6 inches of sheet metal were literally gone by the time she traded it in on another fine car. A Plymouth Omni.

This doesn't surprise me one bit. I was in one of their stores a few weeks ago looking for a set of earbuds for my iPod. The salesman came over to assist me, he showed me what they had and then just stood there waiting for me to buy something. Didn't buy anything, I found what I was looking for at Circuit City for less money.

For my closing link, an amazing impersonation. SFW video on a possibly NSW website.

Till later.

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