Sunday, January 23, 2005

Some snowstorm.......

Wow, what was that, 5 or 6 inches? Granted, if it would have kept snowing at the rate it was snowing for longer-it woulda been pretty damn deep. Our son and I walked out to the entrance to our neighborhood to see if any cars were stuck. I pity the folks that had to be out in that mess.

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How would you even ride this bike?

Today's Lance story. I would be pretty cool to ride with the team. I'd have to buy a motorized bicycle to keep up though.

Not to change the subject, but how exactly does sometime light their ass on fire?

Here's what an all-day car crash sounds like.

My kids like this movie. The page looks like crap in Firefox-looks fine in IE6.

Did this lady get off at the wrong bus stop or what?

This is a cool Tri-5. 8 turbos? I want one. Check out the rest of the cars on the Lateral-G homepage. Nice looking cars for sure. I guess that's why I have 6 bicycles-I'm never gonna be able to afford cars like that.

Actual court transcripts........................

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.


Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something
you've forgotten?


Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.


Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.


Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.


Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next

A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?


Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?


Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?


Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?


Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did
go to?

A: Oral.


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.


Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive,

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere

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Till later...........

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